Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

Mara_uk7

Id hate to think this was a total wind up as Alex's life seems so real to me, Its like our own personal soap opera online ... But I really am finding it hard to believe anyone could be as obnoxious to their own son and his in-laws . Id love to encounter someone who talked down to me like that ! Sheeesh

fc123

cottage_retreatist wrote: »

isn't that true fc123 - those with the most wealth are usually the ones who don't flash it in your face - and that's how they keep their wealth!!! I grew up in Rutland - trust me - I KNOW about concealed wealth!!!!! :D

[for the geeks out there: like the woman sam vimes marries in the Discworld novels!!]

yup.

I think the wealthiest person OH knows is his old drinking mate from 30 years ago and he still bumps into him occasionally.

He did have a good start in life as he went to a private school and his father bought him his 1st development house (value nowadays about 300k) but then the rest was up to him. I remember going to that house as we had just been given our council flat on a concrete sink estate and he gave us the fridge and OH insisted on giving him a fiver for at he was embarrassed.

OH bumped into him recently getting out of a battered old van in dirty work clothes. He manages huge HA builds etc

He gave up driving his red Ferrari as he got so much grief and prefers to use the van all the time, even going to the shops apparently.

At last count he totted up to about 46 million we heard. He definitely doesn't splash the cash but has some amazing estate down in Kent.

fc123

heartbreak_star wrote: »

32 is young? I feel like an old biddy at 34 haha!

HBS x

haha...wait until you are 50.
Actually I love being old now as kids have turned into great adults and I feel confident in what I can and can't do whereas when one is younger you push yourself as you don't know your limits.

You only know them once you hit crunch time and are over stressed or whatever.

I don't like the ageing process on a physical level but I love how my brain feels nowadays.:)

gallygirl

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Id love to encounter someone who talked down to me like that and lived to tell the tale ! Sheeesh

Edited to improve accuracy

lostinrates

fc123 wrote: »

Incidentally though I do know some old money types with inherited 'wealth' and they are as tight as a Knats a*** I think they dress entirely out of the charity shops or wear the clothes of their deceased relatives. Mind you, they are worth about 15 million I think.

And it puts into perspective why I'm relatively blas! about the heartless situation here eh FC123?;). Who burns money when there are other things to do with it?

I have kept to budgets in ways others on Mse would have felt very odd. But then, the way others do it feels odd to me! Learning to spend in more regularised fashion to make life more compatible with modern requirements and changes in personal requirements is a big challenge for me.

Something else about the real 'old money' and breeding. The same weight tends not to be given to the opinions of others on ones own standing. There are certain lines to be toed, but not those oft touted.

kerri_dfw

I think I'm still stuck on the whole car buying fiasco...you DON'T have £3k to spend on a car, you do not own that £11k. That £11k is owed to your creditors, you've already spent it,...on gloves, expensive dinners, and pens. You are spending outside of your means and until you start to spend within them, you cannot afford to live the life you seem to want to live. If you and your wife were hit by a bus tomorrow, your debt would be passed to your son. If you're spending money to portray some kind of personal ideal, then whether that's to be living in a council house with your HP television, or living in a castle with maids on credit, either way is a bit stupid really. Send the F&F letters, pay off the debt, then spend only what you can afford to spend.

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

And it puts into perspective why I'm relatively blas! about the heartless situation here eh FC123?;). Who burns money when there are other things to do with it?

I have kept to budgets in ways others on Mse would have felt very odd. But then, the way others do it feels odd to me! Learning to spend in more regularised fashion to make life more compatible with modern requirements and changes in personal requirements is a big challenge for me.

Something else about the real 'old money' and breeding. The same weight tends not to be given to the opinions of others on ones own standing. There are certain lines to be toed, but not those oft touted.

Do join in too

What we both need is a thread about MSE living to have spare £££ to spend on bathrooms and stuff (and have you seen the price of extractors recently (!)) but I haven't found one yet. There doesn't seem to be an appropriate board to post one....plus it would read like one long spend fest and make Alex's new gloves cost pale in comparison.

Title could be; My house renovation; The Money Pit.

Thing is Alex, you want to do BTL at some point as well as do up your house (or move to the big one) and send son to a fee paying school. Absolutely nothing wrong with any of those choices whatsoever but 1st rule is Money goes to Money.

It's all the little luxury spends that will take you further away from the above and I could say, well, just go and up your income to 10k pcm but your passion is the music and the furniture and both those can give you a good living (and are also good for your mental health).........

........but 1st you need to wipe out that debt (and the loan), de-clutter your surrounds and sell off all the things you don't need or use (which will also clear your head) and then , trust me, money will go to money as you will have spare to save each week.

Then when you have 30k sat in the bank you can decide whether to spend it on hols and cars and pens or put it down as a deposit on a BTL or wipe out a chunk of mortgage.

It will give you choices.

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

I have kept to budgets in ways others on Mse would have felt very odd. But then, the way others do it feels odd to me!

Learning to spend in more regularised fashion to make life more compatible with modern requirements and changes in personal requirements is a big challenge for me.

.

That's the thing isn't it? What we all choose to spend on or be tight on will be different to others and vice versa.

None is right or wrong just different.:)

Goldiegirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm not really quite sure what to say and don't have long until a music pupil arrives.

However, I shall say to AmyandArthur, yes I like to present a "certain impression" of myself to the wider world. No, I do not have the financial means nor ancestry to back up the impression I wish to give. Though we are getting into quite the philosophical debate here: what is "upper class"? Furthermore, what IS reality and how does my own idea of who I am relate to my financial situation?

Yes, I like nice pens, watches, dress in a certain manner, speak and write in a certain way once associated with the upper echelons of our society. What is wrong with that? Does my financial position and ancestry make it ontologically impossible for me, individually, to be a member of the higher echelons of society?

It is my belief everybody has more than one set of realities, mine include: my self portrayal to the rest of society which is not really in line with my financial situation, nor the state of my marriage and family. However, the reality of the person I present to the rest of the world is still a reality for I do not leave the eccentric fantasy of pretending to be of a higher social class than I actually am in my mind alone; I act upon it in my words, speech, choice of material items I fill my life within, the music I listen to and activities I pursue.

Now, Alex, I really like you, but I am a little disappointed with this post.

Firstly, why the need to 'present a certain impression'. I think you need to learn to be comfortable with yourself, and be yourself, rather than trying to create a persona for the world to see. Just try to present yourself, rather than some creation. It DOESN'T MATTER what your financial status is, who your ancestors were or what school you went to - being yourself is the most important thing. People won't think any the less of you if you work out you are a nice middle class boy, rather than a toff wannabe.

Furthermore, I'm not sure why you think classical music and well made clothes, not to mention being able to speak properly are purely upper class pursuits - these are things that are open to all, and indeed are enjoyed by people from all walks of life.

Incidentally, in my experience, people who genuinely are in the 'upper echelons of society', don't make much of a song and dance about it, they are often quite modest and unassuming and are able to mix with people from all walks of life without being judgemental.

On a different note, I notice you've already got over £11000 to pay off debts. Why don't you just go ahead and pay the money in to the loans or credit cards, and save a lot of interest being charged.

Your story is compelling, but we only have your side of it - I sometimes think the portrayal of your wife and father is starting to slide into caricature. I think it'd be interesting to have their side of the story too!

Just try and work towards the clearance of your debts, try stop being influenced by your father and work on your marriage.

That's a lot of things to do. But you put a lot of effort into trying to appear to be a member of the aristocracy. If you stop that, you'll have the spare capacity to deal with the things that really matter.

I am a supporter of yours Alex, but I felt I had to say all this.

Igamogam

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Id hate to think this was a total wind up as Alex's life seems so real to me, Its like our own personal soap opera online ...

Hmmmmmm I do wonder sometimes just how 'real' all this is and feel that material is being collected for a script of some sort