Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

heartbreak_star

I'm leaning towards the slap, or a shake, or a telling off, but then I'm a sports coach. Please note, I do not slap or shake my team - but I DO tell them off when they're just being whingey and they CAN do it, they just aren't.

Alex, you need to take control. You're sitting in this vat of "woe-is-me" with a good income AND the means to pay off your debts. If your marriage is unhappy, do something about it - talk to Mrs K. Stop pandering to "what your parents expect".

Living a life less ordinary doesn't mean being rich. By having a healthy child, being in an orchestra, and running a business sets you apart from the "rat race", as you would probably call it. Everything you are seems to revolve being "seen" as "upper class"...but I bet if you were you'd be bitterly disappointed. It's like a woman who desperately wants to be a size zero, but when she gets there realises she's miserable because her life revolves around not eating.

I suggest asking your doc for some CBT. Soon. It might help you to STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK, which is where most of your problems stem from one way or another - be it trying to appear upper class, or rich, or whatever.

And also, while you're taking control, realise that money wasted on cars, gloves and all that could go towards a BTL fund.

HBS x

AlexLK

HOK3Y: I'm not really sure what to say, other than I will not leave my wife, if she chooses to leave me then that's up to her.

HBS: I already have.

AlexLK

leanne77 wrote: »

.... you play the violin, you must surely have moments when you lose your self-conciousness and everything flows perfect and true...

:rotfl: I wish! All I hear are wrong notes or slips in intonation or a bad interpretation of a piece.

heartbreak_star

Good chap - I have had a few rants at you today, but please take it as coaching :P

CBT might help you appreciate your own music too.

HBS x

AlexLK

I wish it were so simple as talking to my wife and family, stop thinking about my position in society (which is as some kind of nobody in reality) and spending money on things I don't need.

lostinrates

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you.



I suppose in many ways I, like my father, wish I was something other than a "mere pleb". I try to "make up for" my shortcomings by "playing a part".

If truth be told, I want to do the house swap more than my parents who like the idea of the house being passed down but don't really want to let me have it as much as I want it. I am their only son and shouldn't have to be pushed aside in favour of their grandson.

In talking about average and plebs, do you realise how insulting you are being to people contributing to your thread?

My school taught me the manners and grace to realise my position was one of fortune and luck. That's one of the reasons I'm grateful for my education in a very good independent school.

Average is a matter of how we behave and what we do. I come from a ' right mixture' background, and am proud of it. Very old money one side, self made on the other. both have ended up with not much. i am proud of having been financially independant of them, even when not practically so (one of my parents is currently living with us partly on the dissolution of their marriage and partly as a part time carer for me).

I am decidedly 'eccentric' while not proud of it, but see no need to change who I am when on my own ground I make some effort in polite society. . Its the modern way.:D I also worked worked worked. Now, 'retired' due to I'll health in my twenties my husband and I set up a micro business to give me a hobby really. I cannot not work. Makes me more ill.


You have the same opportunities as everyone else. The question is are you average enough to follow only the path set by precedent, or bold enough to carve your own way.


Before making any decision or purchase of worth I suggest you and your wife talk onions about your marriage and see a financial advisor. 11k if you are self employed or a business owner might impact on your tax thresholds.

lostinrates

AlexLK wrote: »

I wish it were so simple as talking to my wife and family, stop thinking about my position in society (which is as some kind of nobody in reality) and spending money on things I don't need.

These are not simple things.

Plus you might benefit if your were to develop your self esteem, evaluate your, um, values and change outlook.

No small thing, better and worse men than you, or perhaps this is where you might struggle to find average?

AlexLK

Monday 21st October, 2013.
Day 51.

Dear Diary,

I have a confession to make: I do not think I am going to be able to manage to complete my DFW journey; see it through to the end, to where money is no longer an issue and I begin to financially recover. There is a part of me that so badly wants to succeed, pay the debts and begin to make headway on paying off my mortgage. However, the irrational voice in my head, telling me I deserve more is winning this battle at the moment.

Truth be told, my wife does not see the point in this for I have not learned to control my finances after the last time I found myself in debt (and, yes, my parents bailed me out). Today, I have been quite busy with work, starting to restore a Chesterfield suite instead of trying to sell somebody something. I enjoyed it, working alone and away from any pressure. There are times I wish only to be alone, without anyone ready to look down upon or judge me, even if they have good reason to. In many ways, this diary has become a vessel for my thoughts as well as what it should have been about - my journey to becoming debt free. In the future, I shall try to keep it that way; about my debt free journey (should I continue) and not about other things happening or thoughts that crop up in my head.

Onto the debt busting, today was not really fruitful other than making £25.00 out of music teaching this evening and to be honest not a penny I have made out of music teaching has gone towards paying the debt as originally intended.

Summary:
+£25.00 Music teaching.
-£1.70 Bakery.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Well said. I agree keep it money saving you are not open to any comments that may be unsettling even though people mean well. When you suffer from a mental illness the simplest comment can be damaging x

AlexLK

lostinrates wrote: »

In talking about average and plebs, do you realise how insulting you are being to people contributing to your thread?

My school taught me the manners and grace to realise my position was one of fortune and luck. That's one of the reasons I'm grateful for my education in a very good independent school.

Average is a matter of how we behave and what we do. I come from a ' right mixture' background, and am proud of it. Very old money one side, self made on the other. both have ended up with not much. i am proud of having been financially independant of them, even when not practically so (one of my parents is currently living with us partly on the dissolution of their marriage and partly as a part time carer for me).

I am decidedly 'eccentric' while not proud of it, but see no need to change who I am when on my own ground I make some effort in polite society. . Its the modern way.:D I also worked worked worked. Now, 'retired' due to I'll health in my twenties my husband and I set up a micro business to give me a hobby really. I cannot not work. Makes me more ill.

You have the same opportunities as everyone else. The question is are you average enough to follow only the path set by precedent, or bold enough to carve your own way.

Before making any decision or purchase of worth I suggest you and your wife talk onions about your marriage and see a financial advisor. 11k if you are self employed or a business owner might impact on your tax thresholds.

lostinrates wrote: »

These are not simple things.

Plus you might benefit if your were to develop your self esteem, evaluate your, um, values and change outlook.

No small thing, better and worse men than you, or perhaps this is where you might struggle to find average?

Thank you for this post and I have not meant to insult anybody.

BEAT_THE_DEBT wrote: »

Well said. I agree keep it money saving you are not open to any comments that may be unsettling even though people mean well. When you suffer from a mental illness the simplest comment can be damaging x

Thank you, hopefully I will be able to get there one day so far as sorting my finances goes.