Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

LannieDuck

...but I'm not sure why you've decided not to have a holiday next year. You could easily save up for one.

Get the debts cleared this year (easily do-able by Christmas the way you're going), then get your budgets balanced so your incomings are greater than your outgoings, and you'll be able to save up to go somewhere.

LannieDuck

AlexLK wrote: »

No, Mrs. K. has put no money in so to speak, buying another car is very important to her though and if I didn't let it happen, I've no doubt in my mind the consequences.

If it's that important, she can sell her stuff to fund it.

You're making her sound like a toddler stamping her feet and having a tantrum until you give in. She's an adult. She needs to start acting like it. And you need to grow spine and remind yourself that you're an equal in this relationship.

cottage_retreatist

AlexLK wrote: »

No, Mrs. K. has put no money in so to speak, buying another car is very important to her though and if I didn't let it happen, I've no doubt in my mind the consequences.

Oh gosh Alex I don't know if you're madly in love with this woman or terrified of what your parents will say if she left you but my goodness grow some!!! You sold your 'babies' to make this money in a MONTH - you made 11k in a MONTH!!!! I agree - post those letters today and spend that money cause while it's sitting there she's eyeing it up.

Your wife is probably lovely - we all portray people in a very 2-dimensional way on forums - it's the nature of them, but jeez man, get rid of that money and spend it on debts before she says she's found another better car but its 7 grand or 8 grand and then you've no pens, temporary happiness, and still ALL your debts.

sorry if it's harsh - most of these posts seem to be but i think it's cause we're all so frustrated on YOUR behalf. You've got it coming at you from all angles :eek: Good luck!

AlexLK

I've got to get some work done, so sorry this reply is most likely terse.

Lannie: She'd rather have another car than a holiday and I really don't think we are going to manage to clear the debts by Christmas if I'm honest, well we could but it depends on what we are willing to sell and for what price.

LannieDuck

I ought to get some work done too! lol

If the car is only available now... and she wants it instead of next year's holiday, she needs to put it on a credit card and pay it off over the next couple of months.

She has to take responsibility for her spending. Just as she's making you take responsibility for yours.

heartbreak_star

Remember - it's only stuff.

I don't think I've really said this before, but I lost nearly everything when an unregulated and unscrupulous landlord changed the locks on a houseshare. I managed to save my PC and 2 framed photographs.

You just go on. Life doesn't stop because you don't have stuff anymore.

I would also bet that you'll have a holiday next year as well as buying her a new car. Get those F&F letters in and paid so the money isn't sat there anymore. Still think she's subconsciously sabotaging.

HBS x

bess1234_2

Oh Alex,
Mrs k is treating you very badly. And if she's threatened to leave you (?) if you don't give your debt money to buy her a car, this is so wrong. Do your f and f offers. She can't just steal the money off you. What kind of nightmare drama are you living in. She's cut back for one month, and is demanding a new car. Doesn't sound like she's had her lightbulb moment. Why didn't she sell her stuff. Wasn't it because it's your debt and nothing t do with her.

Take care x

gallygirl

Neither wonder you don't want to sell the pens if that's what going to happen to the money. Jeez. Don't know what else to say :mad:.

AmyandArthur

Morning Alex - I'm going to shoot from the hip again. Get your armour on
Firstly - with my accepting head on - forgive me for being blunt, but you ought to consider changing your thread title to 'Mr K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life'. I don't think anyone reading your thread believes Mrs K is committed to this - is she? If you think so, then I would wager you are alone in thinking that. I don't think you have indicated once single financial decision in this thread where you are both on the same page and stayed on it together for more than a week. That has to be so incredibly stressful, you may as well face up to that one and accept if you are serious about reducing your debt, you're doing it alone. Maybe you might find a little more peace of mind if you decide to be master of your own financial destiny, instead of being held hostage to success by someone else.
Secondly - hugely cynical head on now - I'm sorely tempted to use this thread as the basis for a fictional novel. You live in a (sometimes amusing, sometimes scary) parallel universe to most working or middle class people I know, without accepting you are one of those people. Your education and parents background, in my opinion, is your past. This is your reality, right here, right now. I'm not sure if you're aware (although I suspect you are, you're anything but stupid) that you write almost in an pseudo-upper-class-shock-jock kind of way. As 'armchairexpert' says, you reveal something new and shocking each week ..the funniest one to my mind was the 'What can I freak them out with today - I know, I'll tell them I bought green ink, none of them will get it'. Consciously or sub-consciously (I've not decided which yet) you couldn't just say ink, ignoring the colour. Consciously or sub-consciously you wanted to instil a little more the notion of your eccentricity and class, further embedding the acceptance of your thread subscribers that there is no possible chance Upper Class Alex could lower himself to buy own brand groceries, embrace state schooling or drive something other than [the rather hilarious cliche of] a Land Rover. Some got the green ink reference, some didn't. Personally I think you misjudged your audience with the 'green ink' reference and it was at that post that you started to lose my sympathy a little to be honest. It was then I started to feel you were starting to manipulate and patronise your subscribers to this thread.
That said, there is something about your writing style, and content that makes me like your online persona, and has me subscribing and reading most days. Quite frankly, I think you are the male version of the Daily Mail's Liz Jones. I don't read the Daily Mail for its 'news', but will often google for her latest article as she both amuses and annoys me in one go and I enjoy reading about her latest faux-disasters. The trouble is Alex, for the last two weeks I've rarely felt any sympathy or empathy for your situation either - just as I never feel any for Liz (oh, woe is me, I live in a huge house in the country, jet around the world, have a menagerie of animals, but my boyfriends never understand me and I can only afford the basics from Harrods Food Hall etc etc). You are my latest Liz Jones fix. When I read your thread lately I've felt amused, irritated, intrigued .... as if I am reading a book. You see where I'm coming from here? Perhaps you should explore column writing as another source of income ... I think you'd make a decent living out of it. Christ, if women like Liz Jones and Samantha Brick can make a living out of writing controversial, thought provoking, irritating and amusing articles, you'd clean up - your thread is easily as comparable to Liz's trials and tribulations, but she's getting paid a fortune for it. You really should consider it.

kerri_dfw

I think I am a little confused by this diary, it doesn't really read like some of the others I have read. I can understand the mindset that you want to have nice things, the gloves for example, as I also want to have high quality things so I don't have to buy 10 of the lower quality things. Another thing that is important to me is high quality food, so I switched from Organic SM to the local farm shop which costs a fraction of the price. However, my OH's and my lightbulb moment was when we realised we should be going for cheap dates places (free cinema for example) and then having a lovely home cooked meal, as not only did we not feel fat & bloated afterwards, but we really enjoyed how healthy it was.

I don't really have the words for the whole car thing, others have said far more than I would. But I think unless you start thinking "need/want" then you've not reached your true LBM and we have many. But unless you do have that big LBM then your son may well grow up in this consumer culture, where you do not save for the good quality things you really need and instead go out and buy them straight away without caring where the money is going to come from. I don't think your wife needs the new car, and I also don't think you can say she's having the car instead of the holiday. You can go camping, which is actually really fun, for a few hundred pounds and can involve some lovely walks and picnics in the most beautiful of places in this country.


I do think you've done really well for the first month, but there seems to be a long way to go yet.