Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

VJsmum

Is it possible that Mrs K might be depressed? Saying you feel like you are "just existing" is a statement of a depressed person. You don't have to be miserable to be depressed - I am extremely good at disguising mine.

Are there issues around having little K - both the birth and the complete change having a little one brings to your life. I knew our lives would change but I wasn't prepared for just how much and it is stifling at times (not so much now that ours are older).

Wanting to "spend your way out of depression" is a typical symptom.

7roland8

Yes VJsmum - people tell you your life will change after children but its not until it happens that you realise how much - your old life has gone forever then - like it or not.

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

If Mrs K is so into calculations, I can't understand why she isn't taking more responsibility for the budgeting. The 'just existing' isn't down to your debts - it's a question of income vs outgoings. If she wants to free up more money for treats, she needs to take a look at the figures and work out where that money's going to come from.

Btw, keep meaning to ask - have you checked your gas/elec prices? I was able to save about £100 a year by switching those. And you don't suffer any lower quality of life as a result Ditto with car/home insurance. And any mobile phones that are out of contract.

Dealing with our finances has long been down to me, my wife does not want to be involved in budgeting, though she did set up some spreadsheets for me.

I haven't tried switching my gas and electric, though we are trying to use less. Car insurance I know I can get a little cheaper but I like dealing with NFU. I've reduced my mobile phone contract, Mrs. K's is not due for a couple of months though. However, when the chance comes, she's going on £20 per month, SIM only and will not be getting an iPhone 5 (or whatever the latest one is), much to her disappointment.

VJsmum wrote: »

Is it possible that Mrs K might be depressed? Saying you feel like you are "just existing" is a statement of a depressed person. You don't have to be miserable to be depressed - I am extremely good at disguising mine.

Are there issues around having little K - both the birth and the complete change having a little one brings to your life. I knew our lives would change but I wasn't prepared for just how much and it is stifling at times (not so much now that ours are older).

Wanting to "spend your way out of depression" is a typical symptom.

Hello there,

My wife's biggest issues are those surrounding our son and at times I more or less feel like a single parent. She didn't have a great time whilst pregnant with him. We didn't find out whether he was a boy or girl before my wife gave birth to him but she wanted a daughter and convinced herself she was having a girl, to the point of only discussing girl's names. So, for her to find we'd been gifted a son was difficult in itself.

The subject of depression has come up before as a while back I was worried about her but she has told me that she is not depressed and "see enough" to know she "doesn't have a problem".

7roland8 wrote: »

Yes VJsmum - people tell you your life will change after children but its not until it happens that you realise how much - your old life has gone forever then - like it or not.

I agree there, Roland. For me, becoming a father has been probably the best thing to ever happen to me.

AlexLK

Monday 14th October, 2013.
Day 43.

Dear Diary,

Very pleased to say I have gained another violin pupil today and things are feeling much more positive today than in the few days previous other than my health still not being even 70%. Still, life must go on, nor have I been sleeping properly these past few days so I'll remain on a positive note saying a slow recovery is better than none at all.

Unfortunately, my son was not impressed by the rain or the fact that the path to our house is slightly flooded necessitating wellies he most certainly did not want to wear today. :rotfl:

Swinging back to the debt busting, scheduled items on eBay have gone live this evening and there appears to already be some interest. However, after spending over £65.00 on groceries and £70.00 on petrol I am feeling rather poor this evening to say the least.

Summary:
Certainly not a NSD.
+£50.00 Music teaching.
-£65.00 Groceries.
-£70.00 BMW petrol.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

AlexLK

Tuesday 15th October, 2013.
Day 44.

Dear Diary,

Today has been an incredibly busy one! I have somehow managed to land myself another job accompanying for the choir I spoke of last week. There was some rather challenging sight reading but I'm another £50.00 up.

Interest in my items on eBay has been somewhat mixed so far but these lot are on for ten days so we shall see what happens there. However, unfortunately my spending has once again been high.

Summary:
+£50.00 Accompanying.
-£20.00 Triumph petrol.
-£40.00 Land Rover diesel.
-£39.00 Triumph MOT.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

7roland8

Nice to see you - was wondering why it was so quiet!

Good news about the choir - and at least your spending is on essentials - of a sort!

HOK3Y

Sounds as if there is an issue around your little boy's gender and your wife's need to have everything her way. He went against what she wanted and expected and so she has shut him out to a degree. From what you are revealing she does sound to have something going on although it may not be depression. Your problem is that her need for control and independence will ensure she never admits this to you, and certainly not if you raise it first. I think she would cut her nose off to spite her face just to prevent you being proved right - if that makes sense.

The only thing you can do with a woman like this is be supportive. Let her come to conclusions on her own because she damn well won't take a conclusion from you! I do not mean that in a nasty way - just trying to get across the strength of character I am fairly sure you are dealing with. X

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

Nice to see you - was wondering why it was so quiet!

Good news about the choir - and at least your spending is on essentials - of a sort!

Well now you know it wasn't because of a spectacular pen spend or similar :rotfl: .

I'm currently doing rather well out of music to say the length of time I've been actively looking for work. Really enjoying it too. Yes, I am determined tomorrow will be a no or low spend day now after these last two.

HOK3Y wrote: »

Sounds as if there is an issue around your little boy's gender and your wife's need to have everything her way. He went against what she wanted and expected and so she has shut him out to a degree. From what you are revealing she does sound to have something going on although it may not be depression. Your problem is that her need for control and independence will ensure she never admits this to you, and certainly not if you raise it first. I think she would cut her nose off to spite her face just to prevent you being proved right - if that makes sense.

The only thing you can do with a woman like this is be supportive. Let her come to conclusions on her own because she damn well won't take a conclusion from you! I do not mean that in a nasty way - just trying to get across the strength of character I am fairly sure you are dealing with. X

You are quite right, my wife would admit so herself. She freely describes herself as a "control freak", the fact our little boy was way out of her control despite her carrying him brought about quite a few problems. Mind, had she a girl who turned out to be "too girly" she'd have been equally upset, though we would have had a few blissful years before having to worry about that.

Yes, she has to be right ... I'm rather used to smiling and quietly nodding my head by now. :rotfl:

Mara_uk7

Dear God Alex, i hope she never reads " 50 shades of Grey " . You dont stand a chance ! Lol

AlexLK

Mara: :rotfl: No she's not read the book so far as I'm aware. Mind, she is not the "control freak" in that department.