Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Alex ... What do you want to make YOU happy ?

No no .. Not her ... You ?

You are so " nice" , i really want to slap you sometimes ... In an affectionate way of course !

Not sure about "nice", just realistic. As for what I want to make me happy, you're probably as qualified to answer that one as I for I have long forgotten what true, long term happiness even is.

patanne wrote: »

I don't want an answer to this, but have you thought how you would feel if Mrs K left & mini K remained with you? You are after all a good parent, so there is no reason why you should not be the parent with care. Of course that would mean her paying you maintenance. Whilst I am sure you love her she does not seem to be making you happy or even wanting you to be happy. Sorry I do like setting the cat among the pigeons. I just think you may be a lot happier with that outcome than you are now.

ETA Just read Mara's post - & have to say ditto - with the very best of intentions

Patanne: I understand, though I have not meant to demonise my wife on here and I most certainly do not want to take her money. However, thank you for your thoughts.

theoretica wrote: »

When calculating the family finances remember that you are making a huge contribution in terms of child care - saving what it would cost to have little K in nursery full time or hire a nanny. Add that to your income and it will look rather more even.

I had not thought of that . Mrs. K. probably wouldn't see it that way though. She has agreed to talk to me later at least.

LannieDuck

I don't think your debts are really the issue here any longer. Mrs K is using them as an excuse to ignore the bigger problem - as a couple you're overspending every month.

You need to clear 'your' debts asap so you can get back on an equal footing with her financially. Until you do that it doesn't sound as if she has much interest in working out how to go forward.

From your posts over the last week or so, it really sounds as if your relationship is in trouble. Sell the bl**dy pens, clear the debt, and see if you and Mrs K can work out a financial arrangement that you can both agree to get you through this as a couple. Whether you can do that is up to the two of you, but at least she won't be able to use the debt as an excuse anymore.

AlexLK

Lannie: I am aware of the overspending and trying to do something about it. Also managed to get 7 more things listed on eBay which should make at least £4,000 towards the debts. She has stated she wants to "have fun", go out, buy different cars every couple of months like she used to and move away from Derbyshire ... frankly, I don't think any of that is happening.

Somewhat positively, she has admitted she doesn't believe she'd be any "better off" alone, though I'm not fully sure what that really means either.

LannieDuck

£4000 for seven items, wow!

And sorry for sounding a bit frustrated in my last post. It's sympathetic frustration because I know you're working so hard at the finances, and to be undermined by someone who should be supporting you is really hard.

AlexLK

Sunday 13th October.
Day 42.

Dear Diary,

Honestly not sure what to say on here this evening other than I have managed to be productive on the eBay front. Reading back on my very first message in this diary, I promised some humour along the road to my financial recovery, though that seems rather thin on the ground at the moment and I apologise for that.

Somehow, by some kind of miracle, tonight has been an extra alcohol free evening, thanks to my spectacular falling off the wagon yesterday and the hangover not at all helping my current health in the slightest. Let's have some good news on the horizon, eh? I'm rather tired of all the gloom.

Summary:
Another NSD for me.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

mum2one

Thats good about eBay, but I speak as I find, it seems to be all one sided. This £500 dont Mrs K realise how much of a dent that has made in the budget, yes as you said your earning less, but as someone else pointed out (sorry useless with names), your saving a fortune on childcare.

I really think you need to structure a discussion about budgets, your in a good position now to do this - with Mrs K back at work, you going into a limited company, it is not as thou it has to be a 50/50 spilt, maybe pool both lots together then whats left say inc debt repayments x = savings, then x = for us each.

I really dont think that Mrs K has had the lightbulb moment, i think she sees this as an excuse to "have a go / get her own way / spend money and not worry.

Re the cars - that was her old life - was this before Little k was born, or is it something she has always done. i knwo you say she got rid of a sports car - was that becuase she had Little K or finances,

Not meaning it to be nosey, but from a point to try to show another angle as to why this has happened.

As for this piano recitial next week, YOU DO NOT CANCEL - you have worked your rear off, you've parted with items that are a big part of life just as an example if you parted with a fountain pen worth 1k, then is a lot as you obviously was part of u. You dont give on something that is important to you, and if this recitial is important, then you go for it.

(Mother hen lecture over) x

mum2one

No I'm not expecting!!! just be put on a spending ban....... the dog chewed my direct debit card up....

typical just placed an order George for DD as she wants pjs and oneies for xmas ...... paid, put the card on the table then next minute I see a crunch, then saw a waggy tail - the dos is walking round the front room head up, tail wagging and a look to say I've been a good boy....... (he must have sussed my online spending!!).

Rang the bank the lad just laughed and said bless him........ 4 to 5 working days for a new card but if you need any money u can go to a branch... (he was helpful!!)

So I am having a glass of jacques cider was meant to be Sat treat - day late..

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

£4000 for seven items, wow!

And sorry for sounding a bit frustrated in my last post. It's sympathetic frustration because I know you're working so hard at the finances, and to be undermined by someone who should be supporting you is really hard.

Thank you for your post.

I have a lot of collectables, some of which are worth a lot of money. Not all pens / watches. E.g. I also have a lot of model cars, one of which is scheduled to start tomorrow, is about 3 inches long and worth about £150 alone. Think I said on here there is money in anything, should one look hard enough. :rotfl:

mum2one wrote: »

Thats good about eBay, but I speak as I find, it seems to be all one sided. This £500 dont Mrs K realise how much of a dent that has made in the budget, yes as you said your earning less, but as someone else pointed out (sorry useless with names), your saving a fortune on childcare.

Oh, she realises. To be honest I'm still not happy about it but I'll let it go if everything can be made right between us, though that remains to be seen.

mum2one wrote: »

I really think you need to structure a discussion about budgets, your in a good position now to do this - with Mrs K back at work, you going into a limited company, it is not as thou it has to be a 50/50 spilt, maybe pool both lots together then whats left say inc debt repayments x = savings, then x = for us each.

Not sure if Mrs. K. would be up for this at this moment in time because she sees it that she earns so much more than I so should have so much more than I.

mum2one wrote: »

I really dont think that Mrs K has had the lightbulb moment, i think she sees this as an excuse to "have a go / get her own way / spend money and not worry.

She hasn't.

mum2one wrote: »

Re the cars - that was her old life - was this before Little k was born, or is it something she has always done. i knwo you say she got rid of a sports car - was that becuase she had Little K or finances,

Not meaning it to be nosey, but from a point to try to show another angle as to why this has happened.

I should explain this, in times gone by we'd have up to 3 cars each and a bike each - we actually met through classic cars. Currently, I have the Triumph, I say "I", she drives it more than me at the moment. She decided to keep her BSA and sell her old BMW, as at that time she was more into the bike. We got rid of a few vehicles because of money, nothing to do with our son.

mum2one wrote: »

As for this piano recitial next week, YOU DO NOT CANCEL - you have worked your rear off, you've parted with items that are a big part of life just as an example if you parted with a fountain pen worth 1k, then is a lot as you obviously was part of u. You dont give on something that is important to you, and if this recitial is important, then you go for it.

(Mother hen lecture over) x

Thank you . I would like to go but we shall see what Friday brings.

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

No I'm not expecting!!! just be put on a spending ban....... the dog chewed my direct debit card up....

typical just placed an order George for DD as she wants pjs and oneies for xmas ...... paid, put the card on the table then next minute I see a crunch, then saw a waggy tail - the dos is walking round the front room head up, tail wagging and a look to say I've been a good boy....... (he must have sussed my online spending!!).

Rang the bank the lad just laughed and said bless him........ 4 to 5 working days for a new card but if you need any money u can go to a branch... (he was helpful!!)

So I am having a glass of jacques cider was meant to be Sat treat - day late..

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Hmmm, now I really do need a dog, perhaps I could train it to chew Mrs. K.'s debit card up tomorrow.

Can't believe you are already buying your daughter's Christmas presents. It is my son's birthday in (just over) a month and we've not bought a thing for him yet.

mum2one

AlexLK wrote: »

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Hmmm, now I really do need a dog, perhaps I could train it to chew Mrs. K.'s debit card up tomorrow.

Can't believe you are already buying your daughter's Christmas presents. It is my son's birthday in (just over) a month and we've not bought a thing for him yet.

I have to confess you may find my main thread on here, Santas Challenge - theres a group of us that start Xmas shopping in Jan sales........ Help the budgets, and we can save.

Excluding DD and my parents

Birthdays - 17 people to buy for - my budget £235, I spent £105, proper price £469.

Christmas - 50 people (that includes the token presents for school teacher,TA, office staff, excluding DD and parents - buying off myself and some people have presents off DD as well)

Budget - £530, spent £273, proper price £1108.

All done, ready to be wrapped.

DD - her main xmas prezzie - shes having laptop, (off me and parents) so few odds and sods
£150 for DD
£100 for parents - then £20 for DD to buy parents prezzies.

Yes, I can loan the dog out, he excellent at chewing what he shouldn't. he's rather partial to Tetleys bitter, and leather slippers!

One of these yrs I would love to escape for Xmas and not buy any presents.... half way there last yr took DD to Lapland, we did the last trip b4 Xmas - it was amazing, expensive but worth it. Little K would love that when he's older.

xx