Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

theoretica

AlexLK wrote: »

I am fairly sure that calculator is no where near accurate, it reckons 80% have a lower income than my wife and I.

AlexLK wrote: »

However, one person's idea of a luxury is another person's idea of merely "getting by".

The second statement is of course true, but your expensive tastes do not change the data of other people's income. I seem to recall that your last SOA had about £1300 a month to go on your debts. Once you have got the debts out of the way you will be able to divide that between savings and living and hopefully feel more comfortable - though your income won't have changed and nor will other people's.

I assume part of the reason you feel regret at selling the contents of the spare room for £30-£100 each is knowing how much more you paid for the things in the first place. If you aren't getting any use out of them then they are otherwise worthless to you. Also, may I present this as a great argument for buying 2nd hand as a way of making the same money go much further.

All that said, I wonder if you want to actually relax your budget a bit - rather than trying to have a really tight budget and fail all the time.

AlexLK

We are failing miserably so far as the SOA goes, even though I'm doing my best not to spend any money. At this rate we'll have nothing extra to put towards the debts at all by the end of the month, even though I've been trying. Anyhow, I shouldn't care about saving because it's almost all her's at the end of the day.

Goldiegirl

Errr.... aren't the debt free diaries for support and not judgement?

Because there seem to be a few people out there who are being quite judgemental.

Just because he is a bit different to the norm, it doesn't mean that his situation is not as valid as the usual hard pressed family thing.

dawnybabes

Alex you're doing good. It's a huge change you are trying to do and of course you will have bumps along the way. As long as you realise these are bumps, pick yourself up and learn from them it's ok.

Have you talked to OH about last night ? I'd not be happy on a number of reasons, you are in this together so you both have to work together, she's currently working against you. You're married so it isn't "her" money, it's both of yours.

dawnybabes

Alex you're doing good. It's a huge change you are trying to do and of course you will have bumps along the way. As long as you realise these are bumps, pick yourself up and learn from them it's ok.

Have you talked to OH about last night ? I'd not be happy on a number of reasons, you are in this together so you both have to work together, she's currently working against you. You're married so it isn't "her" money, it's both of yours.

AlexLK

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Errr.... aren't the debt free diaries for support and not judgement?

Because there seem to be a few people out there who are being quite judgemental.

Just because he is a bit different to the norm, it doesn't mean that his situation is not as valid as the usual hard pressed family thing.

Thank you for the support.

dawnybabes wrote: »

Alex you're doing good. It's a huge change you are trying to do and of course you will have bumps along the way. As long as you realise these are bumps, pick yourself up and learn from them it's ok.

Have you talked to OH about last night ? I'd not be happy on a number of reasons, you are in this together so you both have to work together, she's currently working against you. You're married so it isn't "her" money, it's both of yours.

Yes, I am really trying not to spend money like I used to.

I can't talk to her.

cottage_retreatist

gosh Alex - your wife seems to working against you not with you on these debts at the moment - I think you need to sit her down and if need be have that stern word with her - her actions are akin to a petulant child and maybe she's acting out because she wants you to sit her down and give it to her straight IYSWIM?

The general idea coming across is she's not on board with this and sees all the debts as yours rather than hers but you didn't only spend the ccards on yourself did you I'm guessing?

Your SOA sounds like it needs to be loosened out around the seams so you have a better chance of achieving your goals each month but you've done well with 10k in a few weeks so keep going! But really to make it work you need both of you on board -if only for your own sanity and the future of your relationship. Bitterness and or resentment on either side through this journey is not conducive to a loving and long relationship.

wishing you all the best
C-R x

AlexLK

cottage_retreatist wrote: »

gosh Alex - your wife seems to working against you not with you on these debts at the moment - I think you need to sit her down and if need be have that stern word with her - her actions are akin to a petulant child and maybe she's acting out because she wants you to sit her down and give it to her straight IYSWIM?

I'm not sure what's "going on" with her at the moment, she'll come round.

cottage_retreatist wrote: »

The general idea coming across is she's not on board with this and sees all the debts as yours rather than hers but you didn't only spend the ccards on yourself did you I'm guessing?

Yes, she does see it that way. At least some of the debt was for family holidays, so not all completely on myself.

cottage_retreatist wrote: »

Your SOA sounds like it needs to be loosened out around the seams so you have a better chance of achieving your goals each month but you've done well with 10k in a few weeks so keep going! But really to make it work you need both of you on board -if only for your own sanity and the future of your relationship. Bitterness and or resentment on either side through this journey is not conducive to a loving and long relationship.

wishing you all the best
C-R x

Thank you . It's difficult to keep to the SOA, mainly because of things like forgetting Mrs. K.'s work lunches etc. I'm (personally) actually doing OK at keeping to the budget.

Granariesgirl

theoretica wrote: »

There is a calculator here for average after tax incomes in various family circumstances.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/datablog/interactive/2012/jun/22/how-wealthy-you-compared?guni=Graphic:in%20body%20link

We're "squeezed middle" too - no S###, Sherlock! :cool:

Chin up Alex & "just keep swimmin'" as Dory says in Nemo! (I LOVE watching some of those kids films):p

AlexLK

Saturday 12th October, 2013.
Day 41.

Dear Diary,

It's on days like these I wonder why I bother, my wife has immensely frustrated me but refuses to give me the courtesy of an explanation, other than stating she is an adult and doesn't need permission to go out and spend HER money. That is if there was even an explanation in the first place, I have a sneaking suspicion she heard the brother was out with some old mutual friends yesterday evening and she decided she wanted in too for old times sake, maybe. Well at least she's home this evening and not out spending hundreds of pounds on god-knows what.

Not managed to get any eBaying done today or anything remotely constructive, in fact I'm rather surprised I'm coherent enough to write this. Hopefully she will talk tomorrow as I always feel rather stupid going to parents on Sunday with just my son.

Summary:
No Spend Day on my part.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.