This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

Great tips, thank you.  All the windows in the cottage are wood and dark stained and also very small panes.  A bit of an experiment suggests that actually replacing them all with larger panes of glass and white would indeed change the place but a bit expensive so although it was a lovely experiment I'm going to just go for a lot of white!

badmemory

Remember how our grandparents always had large mirrors over the fireplace.  That can be a big help with passing light around.

Watty1

now that sparked an idea @badmemory I have a very dark corridor that might benefit from a collection of mirrors.  I'll start keeping an eye out for some in charity shops.  Thank you.

Watty1

I think a combination of making sure i get some sunlight each morning, and using an old sunlamp if I come straight to work on a gloomy day, being a bit more careful with my diet and the hypnotherapy is helping.   As part of the hypnotherapy sessions I have to rate myself out of 10 and when I started I was marking myself 2/10 but I realised today, thinking about if for today's session that I would be about a 5 maybe 6 out of 10.which is a notable improvement in 3 weeks, especially as I have thrown the anti-depressants away. I came to the conclusion I was suffering from anxiety not depression and as my GP practice couldn't muster the time for a review I took matters into my own hands.

Probably not advisable to ignore GP but if they are too busy to do a review I did my own with a pal over a bottle of Prosecco and we concluded anxiety was the issue as I panic when out of the house or when I have to leave the house although I'm  capable of going out with charming cob for a couple of hours with no issues.

badmemory

Looking back over what you went through with your ex it does sound a bit more anxiety making than depresssion making to me.

Watty1

Thanks.    Trying a google inspired anti-anxiety plan seems to be helping as I am no longer sitting under my desk in tears.  That sounds daft but it really was where I was at.

Have had a letter via conveyancing solicitor that says the building society has released me from the mortgage and it is in his name now so I imagine the transfer must be close now.

Chrystal

Glad you're feeling slightly better.  (((hugs))) 

Watty1

Thanks. Bit of a setback yesterday and spent most of it in bed binge watching a netflix series only getting up to deal with the horses and take some stuff to the dump.   Did feel a sense of satisfaction as last week I had cleared out the feed barn and the hay barn.  Have put some stuff on marketplace but think will have to go to bay of E as no buyers so far and yesterday lacking energy to do much i settled on just horse car and taking the stuff in the car to the dump.

It might not be very MSE but I have spoken with a cleaning agency and am having someone clean the house today.  It really was a mess and I felt bad I wasn't getting to it. Tackling a cleaning spot whenever I had a free moment really wasn't cutting it.  it actually took 2 hours to just clear surfaces and put things away so they could send someone in.

Finally the conveyancing solicitor has suggested I just accept the horsebox keys are gone and pay the ex just to get everything over the line.  People have been suggesting I argue and I think I listened to them a little bit too much but the reality is  my ex has been dreadful and is unlikely to be amicable at this late stage. I've spoken to Renault and found a super place that will order a key and code it for me so I'll put that on the things to do someday list.  I just want it all over now. 

Suffolk_lass

I think that is the right thing to do too. The headspace you will get back when this is resolved will, I think, be a huge burden removed and you can turn your emotional energy on repairing yourself a bit more as the chapter ends. Worth every penny, getting new keys, IMHO, for what it is worth.

I dearly wish this house was clear enough to have a regular cleaner

Slinky

Wise thing to do Watty with the horsebox keys. I've had a couple of people take up too much headspace in the past and have let them get away with costing me money, but the relief inside my head was worth it in the end.

When all else fails, at least you know that the person your ex will be making miserable in future is no longer you. He will be doing that, leopards rarely change their spots.

How are things with the VNM?