This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Suffolk_lass

Could your office be downstairs now that the house is all yours?

Karmacat

Some great ideas for a difficult time, Watty.

Humdinger1

@Watty1 I was in that space; spent 2 years trying to fix it with EXH after we'd split; the bill for therapy for us both (together and seperately) came to 20k and as far as 'fixing' our relationship, it would have been better spent on a yacht. I finally realised it wasn't fixable by me...only him.  As @Suffolk_lass suggested, could you move the office downstairs so that wattydog could spend time with you? There's bound to be a period of adjustment for everyone including him.  Love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

A long walk in the sun to the village on Sunday and a cup of tea and toasted teacake improved things. I took Wattydog and he had fun splashing in the stream.

My office is already downstairs alongside the house and the cat uses the office mainly and the bedroom. She cannot go outside because WattyDog chases her outside and stops her coming in so she has become an indoor cat.  

@Humdinger1 was right in her initial prediction when things first went awry with the ex that joint counselling was a waste of time and I am therefore inclined to agree with you all that I am best sorting this myself.   WattyDog was supposed to be shared after the split in that the ex would take him but I would provide care on his long shifts and 'working away' times but I think it is better to avoid all contact.

Summer is coming. I think we all just need an adjustment process. I'm sure WattyDog struggles too as much as I do. 

Went to Church yesterday and a line in a hymn really spoke to me.   I'm not sure why Church offers comfort. Sometimes I'm not sure I even believe but an hour and a half in the calm is really great.  The line was "no guilt in life, no fear in death" and it struck me what a way to live ones life.  To be the best one can, apologise when wrong and just move forwards to the best life.  

Watty1

@daisy_1571 your ideas were really good.    However WattyDog demolishes any kind of snufflemat etc in nano seconds given his size and I have bought him kong sticks which he plays with until he selects a better stick.   For WattyDog the stick selection process is really important.  He will leave a stick when he finds a better stick. I've tried refusing to play with any stick put the purchased and bought on the walk one and hilariously he fetches it, then hides it and triumphantly returns with his choice.

I actually agree with your comments but the daft lump does not!  

Starlight_at_Sea

Just delurking briefly to say thank you Watty, and other cheerleaders, for your earlier comments about steps to regain independence and pick up tasks that ex's would perhaps have controlled before. I was inspired by DIY talk and - with the help of several online videos -  resealed a large shower unit yesterday. It was very straightforward when broken down into stages and with the proper tools to hand. I'm almost looking forward to the next task! 

Watty1

@Starlight_at_Sea Awesome job.  Well done.

daisy_1571

Watty1 said:

@daisy_1571 your ideas were really good.    However WattyDog demolishes any kind of snufflemat etc in nano seconds given his size and I have bought him kong sticks which he plays with until he selects a better stick.   For WattyDog the stick selection process is really important.  He will leave a stick when he finds a better stick. I've tried refusing to play with any stick put the purchased and bought on the walk one and hilariously he fetches it, then hides it and triumphantly returns with his choice.

I actually agree with your comments but the daft lump does not!  

Its official- I love wattydog    he sounds brilliant 

Seconded starlight, fantastic job


Daisy xx

ajmoney

@Starlight_at_Sea I need to redo mine. Following your example I will try to do it on my own too x 

LadyWithAPlan

Finally caught up with the diary and glad you are at least safe and well. 

 Did you do that cleansing ceremony? 

i have been largely single for decades and I have a life where I get to do what I want

over time you will adjust - finding your rhythm, finding friends to travel with and learning to love solo travel (advice is go do something you want such as a yoga or a Spanish or Argentinian horse riding course abroad) 

on my to do list I list out the tasks for the month- somehow more gets done than I think!