This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

earthgirl2

Hi Watty, sounds like you are making great progress with deciding on what to keep and display. Whilst you are on the waitinglist for CBT, the Mel Robbins course you mentioned would be good, I hope you enjoy it - I really liked it. You are doing great!

Humdinger1

Yes @Watty1 you are- as ever- doing brilliantly.  It might even be worth paying for some CBT perhaps?  Depends how you deal with waiting lists.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

Thanks @Karmacat   I really appreciate your guidance on this.

Rode the charming cob and then spent the day in the garden.  Moving the weeds looked awful but after it had all dried out it doesn't look so bad.   Obviously doesn't look like grass but actually might work for a while.

Then cleared one bed.  So much died in the drought last year as I had really given up hope things would work out but I weeded the bed and thought about what I would like to do with that and realised a few overgrown things need moving.  Not as much progress as I would like for a days work but the garden waste bins are full and I've made plans I think will work but that are very mindful of my budget.

Watty1

@Humdinger1  I might think about paying for some CBT as I think it might be helpful.

Some more progress in the garden today. Not as much as I would have liked but progress.    I have been come to the conclusion it is time to stop drinking as I feel hungover.  I've been coping by drinking too much and today I lost a lovely day because I felt ill.  There I've admitted it.    So I think it is time to stop.   There is a bottle of wine in the house which I will move to the barn. It will do when friends visit or when visiting friends.  I'm not declaring here I am a non drinker as I think that would just be setting myself up to fail but  ever since things went wrong with the ex 5 years ago I started drinking. To begin with it was just a little here and there but it has become a constant most evenings now and yesterday I drank too much and I don't want to lose any more days feeling like this.

Karmacat

The hangovers and associated physical trauma are what stopped me drinking eventually, Watty, I absolutely understand, losing so much time was also a big deal.  That was long ago enough that I sometimes have a drink now - I literally drink about twice a year, a single or two smalls each time.  That's genuinely enough.  I take coffee a lot stronger than I used to, which may also have something to do with it.

Starlight_at_Sea

Well done for making a plan and taking control of that element of life back again Watty. It's great to recognise that it's no longer needed as a coping mechanism. I wish you many bright starts and clear headed sunny days x

Watty1

Week 9 of a course on the effects of coercive control for those that have experienced this.   Very hard going this week as no cheeky glass of wine afterwards.  As part of the homework i have to create a vision board, and, after a bit of though I think this evening I will actually splash out on some magazines to find some picture inspiration. I could ask my girlfriends for magazines etc but that is going to take time and buying new magazines is something i don't think I have done for years.  And I sold a dress on bay of E so it will be a cost neutral thing really (oh how I can justify that!)

daisy_1571

Local charity shops may have a bundle of different magazines or Ebay for cheaper ones as you will be surprised by the cost if you haven't bought them for a while   or local fb/freegle/gumtree etc etc.  They don't have to be in great nick brand new if you are using the pics plus you might need a good x section of titles to get different styles and content? 

unless part of the journey is to treatyourself of course 


Dxx

Watty1

I did indeed have sticker shock at the price of the magazines!  Thanks for the tips on how to get them for free or cheap as I bought one and some chocolates and had a nice evening but i like the idea. I will ask in my local charity shop as a starting point as the ladies in there are always lovely and helpful.  

I also posted in a facebook group I'm part of about giving up wine each evening and have a lovely "sober buddy" in America now.  We message each day to make sure we are sticking to our journey. 

I really want to build my new life and to get clear about what that might look like.    Struggled a lot today to get up and get going but being kind I'd say that is part of my story right now.

Slinky

Could Pinterest be a source of free inspiration to you Watty?