This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

I'm still unpacking and cleaning so the ceremony is going to be performed when that is done and the house really becomes mine. I do however talk to the house and ask it to help me make the right decisions about what goes where and what to keep.

I've been watching "sort your life out in 7 days" on the beeb.    It has been inspiring me to really declutter and think about what i want to keep.  Some of what i am letting go is surprising to me but I'm letting go of things that are reminders of the past and keeping things i would love in my future.  It is a bit of a slow process because I have to keep thinking about who I want to be now.

I'm not just unpacking my stuff that came back from the rental but being thoughtful as I go  A lot of the house felt like it did when I was with the ex.  Just emptying a cupboard and then looking at everything and deciding what to keep is a slow process but I do a little bit a day.  Some days like today I've just moved a chest of drawers into another room and then decided what of the clothes I will keep.   Each time I go to the village I take a bag or two for the charity shop. (Sometimes a lot more).    I've sold a few things on line too.  

The cupboard that brings me the most joy is my china cupboard.  Gone are the mish mash of plates some from the ex's previous relationship (they were sturdy they survived 35 years)  and now there are just white plates of mine.  (They were gifted to me when a friend cleared out her cupboard, a simple white selection of bowls and plates and I love them).  Gone are the random mugs and instead there are my lovely ones (a few new, some from the village sale last year).  (I've kept two others for "outside workers").    It is all ordered and neat.  

A painting someone did of a previous dog was damaged at some point and I looked at it and thought I don't really want it.  I'm surprised by my reaction.  I had never framed and hung it.   The dog was a dog of my heart and I loved him, but the painting never really sparked joy and adoration as the dog did.  I'm going to let that go too.  I hung a print i won in a raffle in the spare room.  I love it.  The painting had never been hung before.  

It surprises me what no longer feels like it belongs in my life, and what does.   

Humdinger1

Wonderful @Watty1.. you're moving from mourning to morning love Humdinger xx 

daisy_1571

Lovely post, reread these types of posts if you have a little dip or a decision feels hard.

Daisy xxx

Karmacat

This is great, Watty, you're really listening to yourself, about what you like - getting rid of the dog painting is a prime example.  Love the dog, but not the painting.  It's about what you want, and who you're going to be, absolutely.  Lovely post.

Watty1

WattyDog ate a rabbit on his walk.   He caught it himself and then ate it.  The ball he was playing with has long gone.  I am giving up on dog toys for walks.   I fully understand the dangers to both WattyDog and my premium bond emergency pot (£10,000) but WattyDog is going through toys quickly!

Watty1

I have come to realise the "flat" I am feeling is perfectly normal.  I found a free training with Mel Robbins (who has inspirational insta posts if anyone needs a quick pick up) and as part of it there was a download with a fuel gauge exercise and I realised my fuel gauge was empty in so many areas of my life.
I realised I was just frozen in response to the last few years and my focus had become very narrow.   

It is ok, I realised it is just part of the process.  I've made a list of all the things I need and want to do as in both immediate (continue the declutter) and longer term and then this morning I picked the most pressing off the list and did that.

Slowly I will get used to this new life. 

Slinky

Watty what sort of age is the dog? Would it be worth looking at insurance for him and cats? Our cat ran up a £9.5K vet bill in a week when out of the blue she was breathing heavily, turned out to be cancer in a lobe of her lung. She's recovering well but the insurance paid 80% of it less £115 excess.  A £10K pot might seem like a good contingency, but it's quickly used up in a flash with something tricky.

We pay just under £39 a month with Petplan. It would have covered all except the excess if she were a year younger.

Watty1

That is a very good point Slinky.    So glad your cat is doing well.

Ex is paying the insurance for WattyDog at the moment until things are settled but as that should be the end of this month or early next month he will possibly cancel the policy.  If he has not already.   

Two of the horses are insured but one has so many exclusions I'm not sure the policy is worth it (Most Handsome has had a lot of vet visits, mostly below the claim limit but they still exclude ) and Charming Cob recent colic surgery was over £12000 but the maximum they pay out is £3000.  I have come to the conclusion the equine policies are not worth having now as the Charming Cob's policy is £69 a month so I was going to give it to the end of the policy year and then put the £69 per month into Premium Bonds instead. If I cancel Most Handsome's policy too that would be £100 I could put in.  

The semi feral doesn't have insurance. There is a limit to what she would accept in terms of nursing. I adore her and she is wonderful company and fun but I am very mindful there would be limits to the amount of handling she will accept. She hangs out with me and likes the odd stroke but picking her up gives rise to the "face of fury" and sulking for hours

I will investigate insurance. I could maybe pick up a good intro policy for WattyDog as he is only 6. 

Slinky

Is there anything that would be excluded from Watty Dog's cover if you take out a new policy? Is it possible for you to take over his existing policy if that's the case?

Whilst 'self insurance' may seem like a good idea, we've paid less than £2k in premiums for our cat over the years, so self insuring would have seen us about £5.5K down, bearing in mind we had to pay 20% now. We're fortunate that we could have afforded it, but I never gave money a moment's thought when talking to the vet about treatment. I would hate to be in the position where we'd had to put her to sleep because we couldn't afford to pay to operate. If she hadn't had the op, she would have died 4 weeks ago.

I really do recommend Petplan, they've been quick and easy to deal with, with no quibbles at all, and she has a covered for life policy so the same condition is not excluded after renewal.

Watty1

Great feedback @Slinky  I think the equine experience put me off in that the payouts are limited and the bills are often really high so they only pay out the maximum insured or they are are just under the excess.  

I had been thinking of the premium bond fund for the horses really but this chat has made me think cat and dog bills could also e very high and probably have a better pay out rate. I'll investigate.