This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

SusieT

What a poo he is. He cannot let you go, needs to know that he is the greatest and that you still think he is wonderful - treat his act with the contempt it deserves. Take a leaf from his book, be nice and sweet to him, make him realise what he has lost, and remember to have a steel interior so that you get what you want. To add to the totally correct things he has been described as above, please add emotional blackmailer. 

daisy_1571

nothing i can add to all the above.

Intellectually you will see it but its hard to acknowledge that someone looking you in the eye and having a laugh can be also literally stealing from you in so many ways.

Chin up and don't be fooled.  Remember: fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.

Hugs

Daisy xx

Watty1

Fabulous comments.   Had a letter yesterday from his solicitor saying my Witness Statement does not meet the threshold, that I have only filed claiming domestic abuse to get out of settling with him and that they are now going for cost order when I lose.

This has spooked me as I did not think costs could be awarded in these cases and so am thinking of withdrawing as although there is a 50/50 chance I could win the same odds on his costs are not that attractive.

Yes, I know it is classic controlling bullying behaviour.  Am at the point I once again simply want to box up Charming Cob and Most Handsome and go somewhere we can hide with feral cat.    (The dog and the baby Fell both display very demanding behaviours so in my fantasy world they are not coming with me).    Obviously I know this is fantasy land and I shall not be doing any of that but the fantasy is a relief from the world for now.

On Monday I will begin calling to find a solicitor I can ask about costs in these cases and get an informed decision.

daisy_1571

I think thats a bit rich considering the solicitor has piles of paperwork showing that settling is the only thing you are after.  Very sorry to read that

Dxx

SusieT

I think it is his solicitor that is in fantasy land, but yours sounds a lot nicer place to be! 
Solicitor (and him) knows that you just want to settle so with all the peperwork they have they need to be careful since you have made it clear all along that you want to settle, so they could be lying if they try to claim you do not.

Slinky

Solicitors will by and large, write what their client wants them to in many circumstances. I had a solicitors letter threatening me with an injunction from a business I had had dealings with. I carried on doing what I was doing and I'm still waiting for the injunction 18 years on. The solicitor most likely advised their client their threat was hollow, but the company hoped I'd be scared enough to comply with it.

Taking advice is wise.

Suffolk_lass

You can present the letters you have sent as evidence of your intent to settle so I agree, this is willy-waggling, pure and simple

Watty1

Nice weekend, curry with friends Friday night, Saturday afternoon a local village murder mystery with afternoon tea and then a Paris afternoon at another local village with yet more cake and tea.  Gentle fun all round.   Am having trouble sleeping and yesterday downloaded a kindle book on litigants in person and the family court.   It did make me think I should be using a solicitor but hey ho I am not and it was reassuring on the subject of costs which are awarded to the loser but not always so 50/50 I could win/lose and 50/50 on the costs front.

The ex continues the very nice approach and apologised for everything and said I will receive Monday (today) a letter from his solicitor finalising everything ....hmmm.... I suggested a polite and charmingly conciliatory approach might be better than the last aggressive threatening letters I have had which I have not enjoyed receiving.   He said he thought they were nice and I simply said tell her to try harder then, I've had enough which is why we are where we are.     We shall see but it looks like he is no wanting to settle and might prefer to avoid coming to family court for the occupation order.

SusieT

It sounds as if the shock of you being peed off to the point of taking the court action may have made him react in haste, and his solicitor has gone further than he expected. I really hope a very nice letter arrives today (or tomorrow) and he really has decided to stop playing stupids and will finally let things move forwards and he can get out of your life. 

Watty1

There has been a flurry and it seems all can be agreed if I just give him what he wants. No surprise on that.  I've agreed to a couple of points and I notice he is not backing down on anything else.    Hearing for the occupation order is tomorrow.  I  have received their schedule of costs they will claim if I lose.  It is high.    Wish I had not started down this route.