This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

In more positive news the pet insurance for the Charming Cob has finally agreed to pay out.  There has been a lot of backwards and forwards on this with retrospective exclusions being placed on the policy and then letters to the vets to ask if these could have been the cause and so I was beginning to doubt it would pay out but today I had an email saying the money will be in my account in the next 5 days.  It is the maximum the policy will pay out and covers about 1/4 of the bill.  I am however delighted.  I have decided to put it away on in an account for future vets bills as I have cleared the credit card bill from savings.

Credit card company have sliced my credit card limit to a very paltry sum so I rang them to chat that over and have agreed they can do a credit check to see if it can go back up.  It isn't as if I want a large credit card bill but it was very reassuring to know i could just use it to pay the vet and figure it all out later.   I would like that safety net in addition to the savings as I think the next few months might be expensive.   The ex has threatened me with court.  I was robust in my response, pointing out I do not have a solicitor so it will cost him upwards of 15k and probably a lot more and take a couple of years as I am sure I will not understand and will need to write a lot of letters for clarification on points.   I suggested he went away and chatted that over with his lawyer!    He may well have done as he asked me yesterday what I was prepared to compromise on. 

Nicely I said everything.  So he asked for a new deal on the land and I said yes agreed, what are you offering me in return?  As the answer was nothing we had an interesting discussion on the nature of compromise with two supplement pots moving across the table as I illustrated if I moved on one thing he needed to move on the other.  Eventually he agreed that he would just settle.  There was a lot of laughter and it was all very good natured.

As he left the room he said he would require me to move on other things. Laughingly I said I was sure he would and muttered as he left but you can sure as heck bet I wont.   I've no idea if things are moving but the sun is shining and I feel cheerful enough.

badmemory

Well done!  Nothing like reminding them of the hit to their pockets.

Humdinger1

What can I say @Watty1 but magnificent! As ever.  I don't think you're far off settling onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

SusieT

That was a very positive discussion. Great that the supplement pots came in handy, no doubt when he wants you to move on something(s) later you will need to remind him with them again though! You must be very close to settling now though  

Watty1

We may be very close to settling and I can only hope i have not thrown a hand grenade in the midst as my other option has come through.  I very quietly without telling anyone in real life other than a couple of friends have applied to the court for an 'Occupation Order' on the house.  The court have set the date for the hearing.  I had help to write my Witness Statement and whilst a lot of it makes me very uncomfortable because of the way it is framed but it is all true. 

Watty1

Struggling with anxiety now having filed the occupation order to allow me to live in the house and make him go and live in his own house while the sale completes

Chatted with him yesterday and he was so nice (I assume he has not yet seen the paperwork) and we had a lovely chat that it was like old times.  That made me sad.

Humdinger1

@Watty1 dearest; I don't want to be hard towards him - but this is classic controlling, sociopathic, narcissistic behaviour.   The legal steps you've taken have been made necessary by him; and only him.  You are responding as a reasonable, kind, functional human.  Not that you would or that it would be helpful to you or him but it would be understandable if you reacted as a heartless guttersnipe.  But we don't do that because we want to recognise ourselves and feel proud at the other end of the process.   You are utterly magnificent.  Love Humdinger xx 

Suffolk_lass

Watty1 said:

Struggling with anxiety now having filed the occupation order to allow me to live in the house and make him go and live in his own house while the sale completes

Chatted with him yesterday and he was so nice (I assume he has not yet seen the paperwork) and we had a lovely chat that it was like old times.  That made me sad.

So suddenly he has control of your emotions again. He is being nice to you to see how much control he still has. Write to his solicitor and set out the agreement he made with you verbally yesterday. Request formal agreement in writing. Then he can pay his solicitor to confirm or deny that conversation

Karmacat

Watty, listen to Humdinger and Suffolk Lass, they're singing from the same hymn sheet.  Controlling behaviour from the ex, exactly.

badmemory

Totally agree.  Mine played nice sitting outside the courtroom waiting for our turn.  Nicest he'd been to me for 4 yrs & my son's maintenance down the tubes & none of his 6 months pay in lieu of notice either.  Please do not trust a manipulator.  Please don't feel sad for me either, this actually set me free.  It's a crazy world.