This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

badmemory

Slinky said:

Your ex is a large pile of $hite.

I'll second that.

SusieT

He really is seeing how low he can go, what an absolute heap of poo he is. I really hope the councillor and your list of dates works and he gets his rightful bill from them

ajmoney

@Watty1 could you go to the police with this council tax saga too? It would be documented and maybe help to build more of a picture of what he is subjecting you too.
Keep talking to us here, we are all on your side x

Watty1

Slinky said:

I really hope that the CT episode doesn't end up with them deciding that either your house or the rental cottage is a second home and they charge a premium rate for a second home as they do in some areas. Your ex is a large pile of $hite.

Heck ...  I had not considered that.   Hopefully not.  The lovely councillor said she would follow up and I will hear early next week.

Watty1

ajmoney said:

@Watty1 could you go to the police with this council tax saga too? It would be documented and maybe help to build more of a picture of what he is subjecting you too.
Keep talking to us here, we are all on your side x

I tried that the debt collector and the police simply said it was civil so they were not interested. I nicely said that this seemed to be to be domestic abuse and the lovely policeman said it was but that the threshold for convictions is so high that they only help when there is the potential for a prosecution. 

Watty1

I'm really struggling with this whole episode to be honest.   I don't understand how someone who can sink to these depths can also walk in through the front door, make a fuss of the dog and ask how my day has been. I feel that there is two people here, the man that I mention on here and the lovely man that walks through the front door.

it seriously messes with my head.

badmemory

Watty1 said:

it seriously messes with my head.

& that is his intention I'm sure.

MFWannabe

Watty1 said:

I'm really struggling with this whole episode to be honest.   I don't understand how someone who can sink to these depths can also walk in through the front door, make a fuss of the dog and ask how my day has been. I feel that there is two people here, the man that I mention on here and the lovely man that walks through the front door.

it seriously messes with my head.

Unfortunately that’s how most abusers work. 

I can’t believe he still lives there tbh; but it is how they work, want a new life with new girlfriend but still want to control old life 😞
The only thing to do is stay strong and keep pushing for everything to be sorted ASAP, not sure what the excuse is from him/ his solicitor now for the hold ups? 

Humdinger1

Yep  both @Watty1 and @MFWannabe have hit the nail on the head here.  I think the lawyer will have something to say here as will have seen a lot of this.  You do know that it's abuse, even in the moment @Watty1 though know it can be hard to hold onto that fact you can do it.  Love Humdinger xx 

greenbee

Watty1 said:

ajmoney said:

@Watty1 could you go to the police with this council tax saga too? It would be documented and maybe help to build more of a picture of what he is subjecting you too.
Keep talking to us here, we are all on your side x

I tried that the debt collector and the police simply said it was civil so they were not interested. I nicely said that this seemed to be to be domestic abuse and the lovely policeman said it was but that the threshold for convictions is so high that they only help when there is the potential for a prosecution. 

I'm stunned by this. When I called the police at the insistence of a social worker friend for something that seems far less serious than what you are dealing with, they gave me a crime reference number, tracked down my ex using the information I could give them and offered to go round and give him an informal warning to stay away. They put a marker in their system on my address and called periodically to check up on me - because they know people in these situations often won't come forward. It wasn't about conviction, it was about prevention.