This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Suffolk_lass

I made a sort of similar intervention with my GP and advised about a situation where one of their patient couples were not coping. His dementia manifested itself as walking (along the motorway-like A road, the B road with a speed limit of 60mph and no verge, and so on). I just asked them to reach out. No idea if they did but shortly afterwards he was moved into a secure care facility

Watty1

Tried to phone a couple of times but lacking the follow through. I know I just have to do it tho.  On list for Monday

Humdinger1

@Watty1 well done.  It speaks volumes for your humanity and compassion that you are not sinking to the same behaviour as the ex, though it's at least partly a result of his medical problems I think?  I think one of the worst things about major break ups can be losing your sense of self, even temporarily; you are rightly avoiding this and you will come out of it with your self-esteem intact; that's essential to recover in every way, including financially.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

Thanks for the really kind post @Humdinger1  
Sad times in that bestie has now moved to the other end of the country. I know I will still see her but it just isn't the same as knowing she is round the corner. In early days of split she kept me sane and was a wonderful support. I will miss her so very much.  

In MSE news I've found the water meter and located a reading and the estimated bill is not much under where it should be so that can be shelved.  Coffee and cake this morning at the local church with village pals (bargain at £3)  and was given some courgettes so just need to decide what to do with them. I've a lot of lentils in the cupboard so stuffed courgettes and lentils on the menu for next week I think. 

Paid the Planning Consultant for their work to date and ecological survey to be booked in hopefully in the next fortnight.  I'll tell the ex I've signed up for a local nature survey as part of the plans to build 5000 houses in the area (which he is keen on) if he sees the ecological survey being done.  Waiting for structural survey quotes for the barn, I'll tell the ex that the tree surgeon raised some questions over the roof when he was chopping down the trees and I'm having someone check it before the bad weather sets in.  Now I know all of that sounds utterly improbable but my plan is to get all the ducks in a row to file for planning permissions as soon as the properties are settled.   The ex knows my long term plans have always been to get planning permission for the barn but he arrogantly thinks it is too small so I just need to cover this part of people on the land looking at the barn if he sees it.  (He was out when the planning consultant came).   I was going to wait until it was all settled before starting on the long term plan but for my sanity I need to know what is possible and what is not possible now as it really will affect my ability to retire and keep the three horses so if it is not going to work out I will need another plan.  Focusing on this as a goal is keeping me optimistic and motivating me to get up and on with the day just now.

Watty1

In other MSE news I have spent the afternoon filling in an application for a mortgage in anticipation of settling with the ex.  Am hoping for an offset but will see what the broker comes back with.  Mortgage ....all over again...ah well we know the ropes well here (smile).

Humdinger1

Ooh exciting @Watty1! Keep us posted love Humdinger x 

Watty1

The mortgage is not an option due to the land agreement with the ex. This is frustrating as it will substantially slow things down but i am not going to be defeated. There are credit cards and bank loans and I am still working so I have options.

In other news I posted an ad in a couple of business forums on Facebook and am now getting applications for a job to work with me on a project and frankly some of the people applying are so competent it is terrifying...I had the idea of writing newsletters and so on for my business but lack confidence in myself to do it so I advertised for an editor/copywriter ...omg ... I now have to interview these people. Have shelved that for a few days!

Humdinger1

You will find a way @Watty1.  None of my business but do you see lovely boyfriend being part of the solution? Love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

a nice question @Humdinger1   the lovely boyfriend has offered to be part of the solution on more that one occasion.  The real problem with that is I have been so scarred with the way things went with the Ex that I want to fund my future myself.  The lovely boyfriend gets that and has simply offered me the cash to finalise things with the ex as I do not really have the money.  He says i can repay him as and when  I have it.  That was kind of him as I know he is not very wealthy at all.  

As regards "the project build"  I do not even know if I will get it through planning and i am just going to ask myself at each step how i fund the next step (smile).  It is fun to have the goal.

Another lovely sunny day so the charming cob and i went for a ride this morning before work.   We went past "my hedge"  which is really not my hedge at all but a hedge that surrounds a lovely old cottage and I love the hedge because it has so much of interest in it.  Today there were blackberries ripening, big fat red rosehips, wild roses still flowering, some tiny tiny pink flowers and some small white berries.  The hedge makes me smile every time I ride past and see the variety and interest.

Humdinger1

@Watty1 yep,  I get that too. I absolutely know that you will get there.  In the meantime, keep living your best life.  You have so many friends and loved ones irl as well as virtually.   Love Humdinger xx