This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

All the furniture moved this morning.  Not actually sure where to put it LOL I mean it came out of the house but I don't really want to put it back where it once was as i don't really want the house looking like it used to pre splitting up.  At the present moment it is all in the horsebox.  I think I will just pile it into the spare room. I did think about hiring a storage place but it seemed a waste of money and my focus now needs to be on being very frugal.

Late night last night as dinner with friends to sort of say goodbye to the rental place.  I would not be so sad if I felt I had a successful outcome but that is still "in negotiation".

I confess I had way to much wine and feel delicate this morning but still helped load horsebox.  Left the washing machine on and the dishwasher on to start the cleaning process and will finish that tomorrow.  Need to go back now with car and pack up the smaller stuff from the kitchen, bathroom and dressing room.

Am going to particularly miss the dressing room.  That has become one of my "wants".  I was able to keep the bedroom luxuriously uncluttered and tidy.  

LadyWithAPlan

Next step of life here we go!! The dressing room sounds like a great goal!

Mind you moving is never and probably worse with a hangover.

I have started decluttering as  I can see the paperwork and stuff is growing.. 

Watty1

Good luck with the decluttering @LadyWithAPlan  I'm sure clutter breeds. Everything back at the house I shared with the Ex, and some of that place cleaned.   If I focus on the positive points, I will never have to buy shampoo, conditioner, bubble bath or shower gel again and I'm sure there are some more although I can't quite think of them for now.    The boyfriend has been a super support and oddly the ex has not mentioned us both being here.  Although the ex mainly seems to come in and eat and go to bed and get up early. I presume he is avoiding me but he must have noticed the furniture and the enormous amount of stuff that came back (I didn't actually notice how much I had in the the rented house!)

Email from conveyancing solicitor has his solicitor had raised questions about the land agreement, mine explained (yet again) and now we have an email saying his will need to "take instructions" by which I presume they mean another months delay (sigh).

In other news I have ridden the charming cob each morning for the last 3 mornings.  Goodness me we are both unfit. Still we will get there...just got to keep plugging away.  At the moment we are just going for a walk around the lanes in a circular route to get us both used to regular riding again.



 

Humdinger1

Glad to hear that things are mostly on track @Watty1.  It is odd that he hasn't mentioned or even perhaps twigged that boyfriend is there...but perhaps he's withdrawing to another place mentally? You deserve the most wonderful boyfriend in the world.  Charming cob must be thrilled to have you too.  Keep us posted love Humdinger xx

LadyWithAPlan

Glad you settled in OK and its not too difficult. Hopefully you being there all the time will get him moving forward.
The daily rides must be calming as well

BellaLasagna2018

Humdinger1 said:

Glad to hear that things are mostly on track @Watty1.  It is odd that he hasn't mentioned or even perhaps twigged that boyfriend is there...but perhaps he's withdrawing to another place mentally? You deserve the most wonderful boyfriend in the world.  Charming cob must be thrilled to have you too.  Keep us posted love Humdinger xx

Maybe it is one thing to bully Watty when she is there on her own, but it’s another when there is another man? Bullies are cowards after all, aren’t they? I think it’s pretty clever to have the boyfriend there. 

Suffolk_lass

BellaLasagna2018 said:

Humdinger1 said:

Glad to hear that things are mostly on track @Watty1.  It is odd that he hasn't mentioned or even perhaps twigged that boyfriend is there...but perhaps he's withdrawing to another place mentally? You deserve the most wonderful boyfriend in the world.  Charming cob must be thrilled to have you too.  Keep us posted love Humdinger xx

Maybe it is one thing to bully Watty when she is there on her own, but it’s another when there is another man? Bullies are cowards after all, aren’t they? I think it’s pretty clever to have the boyfriend there. 

Especially if he has not moved any of his stuff in as that offers all sorts of other prevarication opportunities for Ex

Ramouth

In other news I have ridden the charming cob each morning for the last 3 mornings.  Goodness me we are both unfit. Still we will get there...just got to keep plugging away.  At the moment we are just going for a walk around the lanes in a circular route to get us both used to regular riding again.
 

Glad to see you making the most of things and finding the positives.  You and Charming Cob will soon regain your fitness.

Watty1

Well the boyfriend has a few clothes here and toothbrush and so on. And a few d-i-y type tools as I am continuing with my plan to do up the stables, yard and field as that is "my space" and it needs some love.  After much research I have finally decided what to paint the stable block with as the wood needs a treatment and have bought the stuff and the boyfriend is spending the next few days doing that.

I do think the ex has retreated mentally.  To be honest since his breakdown when his father died he has not been right.  I know that does not justify poor behaviour but mental illness is an unkind and unjust master.   His conveyancing solicitor has raised a flag that the ex does not seem to know what is happening really so I had a chat with a GP friend but she says there is nothing I can do unless he is a danger to himself or others, which he is not.     Under a ruse of wanting a referral for a friend i did engage him in conversation to see if he is still seeing the psychotherapist/psychologist he was seeing and I found out he has not been for a while but is theoretically still under 'his care' so I am wondering if I should phone and say that I am aware that he cannot discuss the case with me and i do not want him to do so but that I do want to raise a flag that all is not right.

In spite of everything I do still care about the man, I'm sad the way things turned out and i would like him to get some help.

Mind you I wanted him to get some help when I was in a relationship with him and look how well that turned out (rolls eyes). It would probably be better if were just not in my space then I would not have to think about him, could get over everything and move on.

greent

I'd definitely consider approaching his psych (whichever it is) and just saying that youd like to raise a possible red flag just to make them aware - they may reach out to Ex in a 'we haven't been in contact for a while, how are you doing' way - I had this situation with someone and still regret that I didn't have the ba**s to contact their therapist, as it could potentially have prevented some of their actions and consequential hurt for several wider parties. They may not do anything - but at least you know that you will have tried xx