This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

As always the comments on here make me smile.    Most Handsome Pony seems to have made a full recovery.  I loved @gallygirl story of the dishwasher and particularly like that definition of karma @LadyWithAPlan 

First stage of plan was to get a car and have now ditched the idea of the  gorgeous 4 wheel one I found on the basis of money. Yes I can afford it but is now the time to spend that?  I don't think so I was back to looking at cheaper cars.   

Today paid the deposit on the perfect compromise.  It is 4 wheel drive Toyota which may be useful this winter.  It is old but it is an import from Japan, has a very low mileage and is in sparkling condition according to the VNM who came with me with no trace of rust anywhere and the engine seems to confirm all the dealer said.  For me the bonus is it is a car I've always thought cute, ticks all the boxes in that I wanted something I can drive for the next 12 to 18 months with no stress, that would get me through the winter if it was bad without sliding into the fields on the way home and the money I have spent will not have too much of a dent.  The only drawback is the insurance may be more expensive but I can live with that and the fact that it is not available immediately as waiting for papers to come back from DVLA.    Nice salesman said he would chase them up for me and refund deposit if it looked as if it would be a while.  Am super excited to (almost) have a new car.  Fingers crossed the DVLA sent paperwork pronto.
Happy days

Slinky

Congratulations on the new motor. You may be surprised about the cost of insurance. I went from a 13 year old dirty diesel Astra estate to a delivery mileage only current plate Fiat 500 and the premium stayed the same. The benefits of being older but not too old I guess.

jeanjj

Apologies if I have missed it but have you reviewed your will and the beneficiaries of your pension?

Watty1

oh not the beneficiaries of my pension no.  I assumed that was covered by my will ?  I wrote a hasty will leaving everything to a friend and she will deal with sorting out the mess. I always believe solutions and agreement is just around the corner. Although it would seem not (sigh)

jeanjj

I was the sole beneficiary of my partners estate, which was a negative balance of many thousands of pounds! He did however have a pension of approx £100,000 which he had made me the sole beneficiary of. He had been estranged from his adult children before we met (over 20 years ago) but one of them made a claim against one of his pensions and the trustees awarded him a small amount, even though he was specifically excluded from the will for a very specific stated reason. It would be worth checking and making your wishes absolutely clear.

Slinky

If your pension statement of wishes are in favour of your ex, you can't rely on your will overriding those stated wishes. Some admin required to update your pensions.

Watty1

Thanks for the nudge. I really had not thought of that (rolls eyes) 

Watty1

Spent most of the weekend binge watching The Handmaids Tale.  Absolutely loving it.  Invited a friend over for dinner on Saturday night.  Lovely gossip and as I roasted a joint of beef from the freezer not to expensive as just had veggies to buy.  And lots of lovely left overs. Must admit to feeling very unmotivated.
With help from VNM who I must admit is more than just a VNM I moved some furniture I really want to my rental.  I do note the cautions on here about just letting him have everything and I will discuss but I've taken some stuff that was mine since before we met.  Since the request for me to prove I owned the books I realise I cannot prove I owned prior to him a couple of things so just removed.  Will now start a serious declutter and pack up for each room.  Too tired to do that today though.
Downloaded a countdown app and using that i see it is now 26 days since my latest offer went in with the land agreement and still no reply.

Watty1

Ages ago I joined a course which has coaching calls attached.  As a trial member I still seem to have access to the coaching calls so joined on yesterday and had a little chat about my situation.  A member of the group is a barrister (employment law not family law but apparently the principles are similar).   I feel so much better now after the chat.   Yes I am likely to end up in court and yes it is still going to cost me a lot more money to get rid of the ex. The calm acknowledgement of that has been quite freeing.  I'm also working on my new image  as a strategic ruthless and infinity patient opponent rather than exasperated exhausted and desperate which is what I have probably appeared to date.

Humdinger1

@Watty1 what a wonderful woman you are! This will all work out well for you.   I think acceptance of facts however unpleasant can be the start of peace.  You're wasting no time in convincing yourself that it's other than it is and can make realistic plans.  VNM sounds like an interesting addition; nothing like a bit of romance to take your mind off things.  I bet ex will swing between hurt and indignant when he hears; unless he already has? Love Humdinger x