This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

maggiem

Very pleased to read about a lovely afternoon Watty, much needed I'm sure. 

I was so cross reading your comments about ex, what a poisonous little man he is! We will all celebrate with you, virtually (well might have a glass in hand here) when this is over and it will eventually be over. Just keep going whilst muttering between gritted teeth 'this too will soon be over'. Sending lots of positive thoughts 

Slinky

Have you asked him what it was you have done, for him to be so obstructive towards you? You entered into your relationship with love, can't he try and leave it with at least good grace? Is he proud of what he is doing?

Karmacat

Lovely day there, Watty - so important to celebrate those when they *do* occur  

Watty1

Slinky said:

Have you asked him what it was you have done, for him to be so obstructive towards you? You entered into your relationship with love, can't he try and leave it with at least good grace? Is he proud of what he is doing?

Indeed I have. I left him !!!   And then I tried to negotiate a settlement that was selfishly fair only to me and expected him to leave with nothing.
Seriously ???  La La Land I think.

Humdinger1

He's entitled and delusional Watty.  You plainly make him feel inadequate but it's up to him to up his game, not drag you down.  What were you supposed to do after he was unfaithful to you? Love Humdinger x 

Watty1

Looking forward to my weekend   1st Birthday Party this afternoon.  I have bought child a charming sweatshirt with her name on and the "xxx is one" is surrounded with little animals.  It is so cute     This evening VNM has a work do which I'm invited to.   Will be interesting to see what he is like with his friends and colleagues.   The joys of getting to know someone   

Then tomorrow ride with friend in the morning then  it is the village girls Christmas Lunch.  Eight of us off to a local place for a lunch and get together.  We try to go every couple of months or so for a roast.   Just laughs with good friends.   Looking forward to that too.

A few years ago I was often lonely.  Now I have things to look forward to.   Life is good in spite of the situation I'm in.

Humdinger1

Wonderful @Watty1;  sometimes  I look back to when I parted with my first exh and realise that I was training myself in the new normal.  Toxic relationships can warp your sense of what's normal.   Interesting that you felt lonely while supposedly in a relationship...xx

ajmoney

Humdinger1 said:

Wonderful @Watty1;  sometimes  I look back to when I parted with my first exh and realise that I was training myself in the new normal.  Toxic relationships can warp your sense of what's normal.   Interesting that you felt lonely while supposedly in a relationship...xx

The loneliest I felt was towards the end of my marriage, sitting next to my husband... I am still trying to learn who I am with varying degrees of success!

@Watty1 keep growing, you are amazing x

Watty1

Lovely weekend but my credit card statements arrived. Seemed I neglected to pay one last month and incurred a £12.50 charge.  The other is very large.   I've paid off one.

The stark reality is I am overspending and a lot of it is not necessary spending but late night purchases. I tidied up under my desk and found a dress that I can return.  Why on earth did I buy a sequin covered blue dress?   I bought it at about 11.30 pm thinking it would be a party dress.    If it wasn't so sad I would laugh. The dress was nearly £200  I'm horrified.  

Then there are 5 pairs of jeans from a place that was closing down (purchased at 2 am).  I will try these on later and return the ones that do not fit.  My weight is soaring so why I thought stocking up was  a good idea is beyond me right now.

A specially printed christmas gift - was only £17.99 but it is awful and I'm not sure if I can actually gift it although I did decide I would use it as a gift tag.

And quite a few amaz0n purchases that seem to be panic buys. Why did I buy toothpaste on there I wonder?

And so the list goes on.

These bills are a reality check that clearly my mental health is not as sound as I was trying to convince myself it was.   I will need to regroup and carefully work finances out.  I think I can clear both cards from savings and then I think I should switch to only using one and clear that as I spend on it.

ajmoney

I have been overspending for a couple of months but not entirely sure where I have spent it. I am using this time to reevaluate for so many reasons! 
I do actually need to buy clothes as none of mine fit and I have zero motivation to exercise right now. I know that only I can change the path I am on but that doesn't make it any easier.