This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Humdinger1

@Watty1 agree with apple; it's a totally understandable reaction.  Touch breaks down barriers I think and you've probably been bottling all this up for years.  Better out than in.  We'll all be thinking of you this week as this is when your court case happens, no? Love Humdinger x 

greent

Human touch can be a very powerful thing. Huge (((hugs))) for you, Watty xx

Karmacat

Just adding my voice to what you've already read ... totally understandable reaction, though it must feel bad to miss out on the spa day.  Many, many hugs.

ajmoney

Watty, I wish we all lived closer to you.  Sending you love and hugs x

themadvix

Just caught up Watty -  it's lovely to have you back. What you're going through is most definitely not lovely though. Sending hugs x

Watty1

Well the court day happened and I lost the case.   Judge felt I had not provided enough proof that I had personal savings before I met Mr Watty.  I couldn't because it was 25 years ago.  I had not enough proof Mr Watty had promised me the rental property would be my pension plan because I had no documentary evidence.  Well who documents all their conversations?  And who really in a happy relationship runs along to a solicitor to have documents drawn up when they love and trust their partner and believe them to be honourable?  And finally the judge felt that during the relationship we had pooled all our income and so if I had put it in joint names the law says that is joint thus meaning that everything that is joint is joint but interestingly everything Mr Watty has like his pension pot and his inheritance are his because the law says a cohabiting couple cannot touch that.  So it is joint when it is joint and his if it his and I cannot touch it.   The judge said Mr Watty should give me a discount on buying his half of Bull Cottage equal to his potential legal costs if I appeal to save the costs and difficulties of an appeal.    We then had to negotiate what that would be and Mr Watty wanted £90,000 more than i was prepared to offer.  

Mr Watty also wants an overage agreement of 50% on the land should I ever sell it for development or develop it personally and as I refused to agree an overage agreement without a property lawyer present then the whole thing fell apart.  I have learnt many lessons during this process and was at least commended by my lawyer for insisting I was entitled to proper legal advice from someone qualified in property law - at one point my barrister was googling overage agreements to see if we could salvage something and all she could conclude was they are complex and I was right to get proper advice from a specialist.

At the age of 59 I have been on a steep rollercoaster of learning about the law and the true nature of the man I was with for so long and about human nature.

All I can stay at this point is I am still standing.  Time to regroup and think about what next.  (Also wondering if I should post a cautionary note thread on this board as I can't be the only cohabitee here and I wonder if I am the only person not aware of how unprotected in law a cohabitee is compared with a married person - what do regular readers think?)

CathT

Watty I am so sorry you're going through this and the day in court did not go well. 

ajmoney

Watty,

Firstly, I think it might be beneficial to write about your thoughts on cohabitee's.  It is certainly something I am aware of after an amicable separation of my marriage but of the implications of getting into any potential relationships in the future.

Secondly...I am so so sorry.  I wanted to cry reading this, what has happened feels so unjust for you.  I really don't know what else to say.  Please take it easy on yourself, regroup and then find your way going forward.  Please continue to reach out either on here or pm me x

Slinky

So sorry to hear this Watty. Yes warning cohabitees would be a good idea - marriage isn't just 'a piece of paper'.

I have a friend who was shafted as a cohabitee who'd bought a property 50/50 basis, putting in all her inherited money from her father. He ran up debts on a credit card wining and dining his lover on the side, those debts were cleared when they remortgaged to buy the house. The proceeds of the house got split 50/50. They'd been together 20+ years and she trusted him.

Humdinger1

@Watty1 sorry to hear that this is how it's played out.  Karma will be on the case of your ex.  Agree re cautionary tale worth posting; what all your admirers are concerned with are your next steps.  We understand that you'll need time to grieve, but you totally have the ability to turn this round.  At least you were offered a discount by the judge so that's a definite bargaining chip.  You earn good money in a field you enjoy so that is a good foundation. Hope I'm not being too infuriatingly chipper but I do really believe in your ability to recover and prosper once you've licked your wounds; the two things can go hand in hand.  Please keep posting because we all want to know how you are and be with you on your journey.   Love Humdinger xx