This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

maggiem

Sorry to read you are having to go to court. Hugs 

Watty1

Thank you all for your lovely comments.  Court date set for 8th September. It is a private hearing.  Eye-wateringly expensive.  Anyone would think we worth millions which we are certainly not.  Mr W still refusing to even be sensible.  Last missive from his solicitor set out his evidence that I had not contributed anything much to the joint account so he had paid all the bills and that was how I had managed to overpay on the mortgage. He supported his evidence with 1084 pages of bank statements.  Initially I was shocked that I had contributed so little but then I noticed he hadn't mentioned the car I bought him but had mentioned the lorry had gone through the account.     Which puzzled me as I didn't buy a horsebox (lorry) until much later.   And the omission of a car purchase?  Well as we all know it is easy to forget !!  So I started to check the bank statements.  All the pages against his chart of my contributions and I found he had not listed my contributions at all for some years.  One year I only contributed 245% of the bills but I was paying 100% of the mortgage.  One year I contributed 132% of the bills.  Ummm.. I redid the chart and sent it back to my solicitor.
God knows I am no angel. And there are a lot of things I have done I am not proud of.  And I could have been a better partner I know  But then I think if each and everyone of us sat down and reflected in a quiet moment I am sure we could think of things we could have done better or could be doing better.
Also spent an evening writing up a proposal based on research for the value of both properties to avoid having to pay a surveyor for a red book valuation as Mr Watty wants 200 k more for the cottage than it ihas been valued at and for the rental to be valued at less than properties are selling for in the street.   He knows I want to buy the cottage and he wants the rental for himself.  Cynically I wonder if this has to do with his view on the prices (sigh).  A red book valuation is apparently a gold standard of what a property is worth so if the 'other side' doesn't agree with my research then we will have to get that done.  I do feel I have consistently had to put forward ideas and plans leading to a high legal bill but can't fault my solicitor to date.  Will wait to see what the next few days bring

Humdinger1

@Watty1 what planet is the poor deluded man on?!  I can't even....words fail me.  I'm absolutely sure that with your orderly methods and authentic voice, you're going to sweep all before you.  What does your lawyer say? Given Mr W's grip of reality- which was already visibly wearing very very thin- you've dodged a bullet.  I seem to remember deafening alarm bells ringing for you when he gave his inheritance to his nephews and nieces instead of balancing things up between you and rightly so; imagine if you'd just let it bowl along.  I know from past experience that the end of a relationship is a bereavement and hope you're feeling OK?   Better times lie ahead.  You can totally do this love Humdinger xx

Watty1

Thanks Humdinger.  Sent all the evidence back to the solicitor.   I switch between utter disbelief that he is claiming so much is his and I am entitled to only that the law allows...which says so little for his moral fibre and feeling heartbroken my relationship ends like this.   I saw him Saturday and we chatted about his mothers 80th birthday and their planned day out to celebrate and for a moment I felt grief that I was not included and them I remembered that last Feb he had told me he and his mother were going to the USA and I should be grateful I was getting advice notice. I was not invited and not included in the planning!    For me there is an odd sense of unreality.  The lovely man i knew seems to have gone.   He is now showering his new girlfriend with the love and attention I once had and that makes me sad.    And yet I look at this pension valuation.  My lawyer had one done to show the judge how unfairly assets accumulated in the relationship had been split and I see that he has a pension of north of a million (nearly 1.5) and he is squabbling over wanting the rental property himself knowing full well that was to be my retirement income.  Although he denies knowing that now.
Humdinger your faith is touching.   I just hope the 'judge' agrees with my barrister that I can win that property for me so my financial future is a little more certain.  Its all such a mess.  And my lawyers bills continue to pour in.   I am putting my faith in my lawyer.   And reminding myself it will all be ok.  

Humdinger1

@Watty1 he clearly has a reality problem...moving onto another relationship is part of avoiding reality, from where I'm standing. Not long before things are clearer.  Good job you can earn your own living, though I understand how difficult it is to worry about assets being taken away.  When do you want to retire? I'm still convinced that your lawyer will be able to sort this: is s/he confident? You have a posse of devoted admirers all rooting for you. Love Humdinger x

FloppyDisk

Really sorry to hear of the stress you are under Watty, though it sounds like you have been able to piece together the truth despite hi best efforts to muddy the financial past!  Like Humdinger says - better times lie ahead, you just have to push through this horrible bit.  Anyway, more important stuff - how are the horses??

Watty1

Floppy hi!   Only two horses now, Most Handsome is lame, FoggyFell found his way to the rainbow bridge after a bout of colic (he was late 20s so a good long life well lived) and the third of the now two the totally charming Cob is just that. Totally charming.  
Humdinger well I was planning on retiring a year or so back but that hasn't happened for obvious reasons and I'm now totally glad I stuck it out as  I have the means to earn my own living and support myself.
Fourth estate agent round today as Mr Watty not happy with the market appraisals so far.  I lost the plot last week and said we should get a gold standard valuation from a proper surveyor rather than waste time with estate agents but he would not agree with that.  This fourth one has added 100 k to the valuation from the lowest.  Honestly totally random figures.   I'm going to suggest that we simply add them all up and divide by 4 but I don't think he will be happy with that.    Sigh. If I didn't want to buy the place I'm sure we wouldn't be having to go through this!    As far as my legal team is concerned my barrister is confident so I'm happy with that.   The legal team have done a cracking job of preparing my evidence and I'm content we are well prepared so not too long to go .....

Karmacat

Watty, hello I'm so sorry MrWatty is making things so difficult   he seems to have changed completely.  Your barrister sounds like they're really on the ball, which is good to read.  Keep posting when you can, we're here for you  

Watty1

thanks KC.  I don't understand how he can have changed so much.     Maybe he has.  Maybe he hasn't. The kind me thinks he has just dug his head in the sand.  The unkind me thinks he might have been like this all along.    Maybe a bit of both?
Lovely bank holiday weekend.  Trip to the Tate to see the Making of Rodin.    Chinese meal with friends one evening.  Trip to the beach for the day where I hired a beach hut (expensive at £80 but so worth it as I've always wanted one so just having one for a day was great) and a lovely trip to the Ashdown Forest for walking and pooh sticks and delicious lunch out.  
Bank holiday Monday finds me in the office attempting to catch up on some work. Just looked up to see that Mr Watty has filled in the office board with his shift patterns and time away just like he did when we were together.  I feel I'm in an altered reality.  In less than 2 weeks we have a hearing and then my financial position will be clear and I move to some sort of solutions that work for me in the future (which I have to say include haunting these boards as I need to get some kind of financial controls in place )

apple_muncher

I, for one, am looking forward to you haunting the boards again