This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

greent

Thinking of you, Watty - hope things are improving xx

Watty1

Not a lot of improvement lately. Its why I've not been on here. I went away for a few days which was nice, but, then back to the same old crap. Mr Watty still working but clearly in a very bad place.

Feel the counselling friend took serious advantage of the situation but will wait til she returns from travelling to see how that one unfolds. She is based in the US and I had agreed she could charge my card as she did three x three hour chats with Mr Watty. !!!!!!. Nearly feel off my chair when I saw the amount. Mr Watty has no recollection of what he has signed up for and lets just say for that sum (over £1000) I would hope it is some kind of long term programme - but- I have serious reservations about him working with a friend of mine. I think that crosses professional boundaries and certainly am not happy about that. As I say will wait till she returns before hitting the roof as there may be an explanation

And Mr Watty in same old mess.
Mr Watty wants very little to do with me most of the time, to the extent that last Monday I found a little office to move the business too and spoke with a friend about moving the horses to her yard. Mr Watty said that was all fine though he had hoped we would stay together, although, that seems to be more on 'we live in the same house' basis as he likes the horses, and, obviously the dog can stay if I am around.


In the end I didn't follow through as I am utterly confused as to what to do and decided simply moving out made everything very final. And with no family I felt very alone.
Oh ....and in case anyone is wondering....there has been no sight or sound from brother

apple_muncher

Hugs to you dear Watty. Thank you so much for coming back on and letting us know how things are. Thinking of you x

smallholdingsister

God bless Watty. Do what is right for you. Xxx

atypicalblonde

Watty - what does your gut instinct say to you lovely? I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone - we are here for you. Lots of love to you xxx

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Sending love and strength Watty. Please feel free to call me if you want to talk.

Very best wishes Tilly xxxx

FloppyDisk

Oh Watty, that is a lot to get your head around. Moving office and horses is a big decision, you have paid an awful lot towards that house, financially and emotionally!

CathT

Thinking of you Watty, your MFW family are here for you xx

Karmacat

Watty, I've just snipped the bits of your last post where I feel I have something specific to add, hope that's okay.

Watty1 wrote: »

Feel the counselling friend took serious advantage of the situation but will wait til she returns from travelling to see how that one unfolds. She is based in the US and I had agreed she could charge my card as she did three x three hour chats with Mr Watty. !!!!!!. Nearly feel off my chair when I saw the amount. Mr Watty has no recollection of what he has signed up for and lets just say for that sum (over £1000) I would hope it is some kind of long term programme - but- I have serious reservations about him working with a friend of mine. I think that crosses professional boundaries and certainly am not happy about that. As I say will wait till she returns before hitting the roof as there may be an explanation

You're right to have reservations. Working with a friend's husband for that number of hours crosses an awful lot of boundaries.

Three hour sessions? I'm not one of the classical "fifty minute hour" sessions myself, and when my niche therapy that I worked in first started, the sessions were open ended. Originally that really meant two hours. When I went self employed, we advertised that the sessions were 1.5 hours, and charged (less) accordingly. You can't concentrate on one person's pain in a therapeutic way for three whole hours without any breaks, that's my professional opinion that's been borne out by my own experience with time boundaries.

A friend's husband? She has direct knowledge of you, and indirect knowledge of him, and probably expects that your relationship will continue? You'll find very, very few therapeutic organisations, if any at all, that would condone her behaviour with this. A one-off when somebody is immediately suicidal, yes; more than that, no.

The money. She didn't tell you what her rate was, or how long her sessions would be, or how often they'd be. Even though *you* left it open-ended, her own professionalism should have required her to offer you informed consent.

Waiting before hitting the roof. Absolutely right! Write down the questions you want to ask her, and the statements of what you expect. I may have told you about https://www.bacp.co.uk/ before, the British Assn for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Particularly, check out the Information tab.

Also check out http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/online-counselling.html
I never enrolled with them myself while I was working, but I used it in helping clients find new counsellors when I retired, and some of them have been very good, this is the only resource I use now.

In the end I didn't follow through as I am utterly confused as to what to do and decided simply moving out made everything very final. And with no family I felt very alone.
Oh ....and in case anyone is wondering....there has been no sight or sound from brother

I think your gut instinct is leading you the right way there - it's a truism that we always try to encourage in people, not to make a permanent, life changing decision when you're in the middle of an emergency.

CathT wrote: »

Thinking of you Watty, your MFW family are here for you xx

Absolutely! I'm so sorry to hear that things are so rotten for you. You don't have to wait till things change before you post - use this as a diary of how you slept, the good things you managed to eat, anything you want.
Thinking of you.

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smallholdingsister

I think it is Mr Watty's brother, who seems to have been at best a catalyst for this crisis.