This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

As if all this is not sufficient Mr Watty wanted a chat and said he did love me but he couldn't go on with life like this as it was all too much for him and he wanted to downsize and had I considered giving up work..... err ..yes I said .... remember looking at houses earlier in the year? and looking at budgets???
yes, he did but seemingly he hadn't realised that was what we were talking about he claims. and then he says he isn't sure what he wants from life and he doesn't know if he wants to be with me and my goodness it all just unravelled from there.

After a bit of this I went out for a walk, ate a bar of chocolate for my dinner, spent a couple of hours pottering around the streets where my first house was and came home in a fine temper and said he could leave with the sodding dog. Which he said he would be quite happy to do if that is what I wanted only to be told that he should grow a pair of balls and decide what he wanted...... and then the penny dropped.... I began to wonder if he was suffering from some sort of grief or trauma so, getting nowhere fast, as it was by now 2 am I rang a friend in the USA who is a mental health counsellor and chatted with her. The joys of having friends in different countries eh?
As she doesn't know him she suggested he call her the following day and she would have a chat. Well a lot of stuff came up to do with his childhood and how he feels about having taken care of dad for so long and not much of it good.


The upshot of all this is that he had gone to work to discuss with his boss the potential for reducing his hours substantially, stopping his shift pattern and working days.


My friend in the US says she cannot, obviously say what he has told her but that I should be the nice Watty while he takes the time he needs to heal.........


However there is also a darn furious Watty that is utterly sick of the whole thing .......


And a Watty that is very confused about what is really going on.

Karmacat

Oh honey! I'm so sorry - I'm also sorry I put that chirpy "awaits update" up there. It sounds like a bomb might as well have gone off in your face

No wonder you're confused ... and angry. But you know, you had a brilliant idea to ring your friend in the States - sounds like Mr Watty has realised this is about old stuff, from his past, not about you and him.

Going back to the money ... it's fine to want family back in your life. Doesn't mean you give them your money. It means you spend time with them. The two things aren't connected, but it sounds like he's got them falsely connected up somewhere

Meanwhile, you take care of you - its good that he's out of the house speaking to his boss, can you blank out in the bath or something?

I'll be watching for updates, my heart goes out to you.

Watty1

The "awaits updates" post made me smile KC ...so don't apologise. I loved it. Am at work. Trying to work whilst the dog does his usual destructive thing. As I've said often before, this dog is clearly wired to be a working dog. Its hard to work with him. A visitor has just suggested I get the dog a treadmill. Made me smile. Apparently he has one for his dogs back home in Portugal....such a lovely image his great danes working out on a treadmill

Watty1

And as for the money .... at this point I'm saying no more as I've said all I have to say. Dad's house will not be going up for sale anytime soon and there is enough money in dad's account for any bill for the house to be paid from that.
It does rather feel as if a bomb has gone off here yes.

smallholdingsister

God bless Watty. I don't think you owe it to Mr Watty to be nice. I don't think you should be nasty either but I do think you should be considering what you want and making plans for that.

Grief is not an excuse for being an !!!!, that might be a choice you make WHILE you are grieving.

themadvix

Oh Watty, I don't have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to say I really feel for you - I can't imagine how stressed and upset you are.

I hope Mr Watty's boss can work with him and Mr Watty can work things out (with the help of your friend) and things get sorted.

Make sure you have lots of kitty cuddles in the meantime!

smallholdingsister

https://captainawkward.com/category/relationships/

The Captain has some wise words xxx

Karmacat

Listen to the Captain and the Awkwardeers, they're wonderful!

Treadmill *sounds* awful, but I bet it doesn't have to be.

gallygirl

themadvix wrote: »

Oh Watty, I don't have any words of wisdom

I think I got it about right themadvix........

gallygirl wrote: »

Well b*ll*cks to that

So sorry for all that is happening Watty xxx

FloppyDisk

Oh Watty, I'm so sorry, I dare say it does sound like you have been cat vs dog on a few issues lately. Sending you lots of strength.