Am I over-reacting?

bagpussbear

butterflyaway wrote: »

Thank you all for your advice. I am in two minds about what to do. His family keep making insensitive remarks....I think I'm just about ready to explode with anger.

I really feel for you OP, it's the last thing you want to have to deal with having just lost your dad.

I will keep fingers crossed that he arrives back, throws his arms around you and tells you what an insensitive so and so he has been, and you both talk things through.

But if not, I think this situation has been an eye opener for you. We rely on our partners to be there for us when we really need them. He wasn't there for you and doesn't seem to accept the gravity of how you feel it was unacceptable despite telling him.

Life is full of ups and downs, so what happens next time when there is a 'down'

I hope he comes through for you OP.

aileth

Good luck, Butterfly. I wonder how he would expect you to act if the shoe were on the other foot, or how he would feel if your family made insensitive remarks to him?

BitterAndTwisted

Why are you on the receiving end of his family's insensitive remarks and how are you getting them? Seems that the apple hasn't falling far from the tree here, has it?

Honestly, if I were in your position I would have already started his packing for him.

Fair-weather friend indeed.

butterflyaway

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Why are you on the receiving end of his family's insensitive remarks and how are you getting them? Seems that the apple hasn't falling far from the tree here, has it?

Honestly, if I were in your position I would have already started his packing for him.

Fair-weather friend indeed.

His Mum was asking why he's not staying longer and asked if it was me who was telling him to come back sooner.

Fen1

Bl""dy hell. Is this the sort of woman you want in your life? She sounds utterly appalling.

If you continue with OH you will also get lumbered with her. Awful.

butterflyaway

Fen1 wrote: »

Bl""dy hell. Is this the sort of woman you want in your life? She sounds utterly appalling.

If you continue with OH you will also get lumbered with her. Awful.

Don't know why but your post kind of made me chuckle. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks all this is unacceptable, I started to think I'd gone a little bit crazy.

CH27

butterflyaway wrote: »

His Mum was asking why he's not staying longer and asked if it was me who was telling him to come back sooner.

Tell her she can blo*dy well keep him as his sensitivity chip is faulty!

aileth

Now you see where he gets it from

Fen1

Just glad I brought a smile to your day.

Big hugs.


My own experience of grief intensified the feelings I already had, so people I was already p'd off with I started to really loathe. Losing someone close to me just made everything extremely raw for a long time.
I couldn't put up with those people any longer, especially not in that state. So I cut them out of my life. Do I regret it now, several years down the line? Nope. Not for one second.

beckysbobbles1

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I would be completely devestated if my Dad passed away.

It's very difficult to understand your boyfriends behaviour. Is he normally this emotionally detached?

It may be too difficult for him to deal with and instead of maning up he has taken the cowards way out and removed himself from the situation.

You should speak with him and explain how hurt you've been by his lack of support. Ask him if he is worried that he doesn;t know how to deal with it.

If that's the case then just say all you need is someone to be there and support you when your down.

I hope you have lots of friends and family around to help you at this awful time.