arguing over school uniform

Imp

Maybe the OP should say to her ex that the CSA money she pays every month to her ex should be used for the children's school uniforms.

Wilma33

Imp wrote: »

Maybe the OP should say to her ex that the CSA money she pays every month to her ex should be used for the children's school uniforms.

She doesn't pay any.

Spendless

Do you have any Tesco clubcard vouchers? They are currently doing clubcard boost, where they double the face value of your voucher to be used in certain departments. Clothing is one of them and school uniform is something you can use it for. I did this for my daughter's school trousers. Might be a way of providing without it costing you much if any physical cash.

hippihaz

hi, slightly off topic but can I ask how you don't have to pay CSA to him, if he is technically the resident parent? My husband has joint custody of my step-son and almost 50:50 contact, we have been told if we have exactly 50:50 contact one parents (her) is still the resident parent and we still have to pay her CSA payments (as per the website) - it seems silly as we share half and half (with her getting all CB too) and would love to know if a court ruled that you didn't have to pay maintainence or how it happened? Thanks

Imp

hippihaz wrote: »

hi, slightly off topic but can I ask how you don't have to pay CSA to him, if he is technically the resident parent? My husband has joint custody of my step-son and almost 50:50 contact, we have been told if we have exactly 50:50 contact one parents (her) is still the resident parent and we still have to pay her CSA payments (as per the website) - it seems silly as we share half and half (with her getting all CB too) and would love to know if a court ruled that you didn't have to pay maintainence or how it happened? Thanks

If the OP was the father, some forum members would say that he was an irresponsible parent who fails to live up to the obligations of looking after his offspring. I do look forward to hearing what those forum members say in this case, give it is the mother who is not paying.

Brewstersmum

hippihaz wrote: »

hi, slightly off topic but can I ask how you don't have to pay CSA to him, if he is technically the resident parent? My husband has joint custody of my step-son and almost 50:50 contact, we have been told if we have exactly 50:50 contact one parents (her) is still the resident parent and we still have to pay her CSA payments (as per the website) - it seems silly as we share half and half (with her getting all CB too) and would love to know if a court ruled that you didn't have to pay maintainence or how it happened? Thanks

hi we have a casual agreement. when the youngest was born I went back to work. my ex never worked and believed that dole is fine to live on. I supported the whole family for 2 years, paying for luxuries for him and the children. in a way the family was backwards and I took on the role of the provider.

i have however taken a serious emotional hit for that one as per societies expectation and stereo type it is the mother who stays at home. i do not believe however that dole should be a way of life if you are capable of working (and what kind of message does that give children?) if i would of kicked off about the house and stayed there (it was my tenancy) kicked him out etc i wouldn't of received half the grief i have for doing what i believed was right.

Brewstersmum

Imp wrote: »

If the OP was the father, some forum members would say that he was an irresponsible parent who fails to live up to the obligations of looking after his offspring. I do look forward to hearing what those forum members say in this case, give it is the mother who is not paying.

this is very true. and i have had plenty of grief about it from people who think because you leave a house, you leave your family. i actually left the house to save the children from a pile of arguments as the relationship was over. i have since rehomed myself and started fresh all whilst working and looking after my children 3 days a week whilst my ex sits back in his fully paid for home with all my stuff i spent 15 years working for but left for my kids

Imp

Brewstersmum wrote: »

this is very true. and i have had plenty of grief about it from people who think because you leave a house, you leave your family. i actually left the house to save the children from a pile of arguments as the relationship was over. i have since rehomed myself and started fresh all whilst working and looking after my children 3 days a week whilst my ex sits back in his fully paid for home with all my stuff i spent 15 years working for but left for my kids

I am pleased to see that you didn't take my previous post too badly, on retrospect it comes across quite harshly. You appear to have taken on the male role in the relationship, and I am genuinely interested in comparing how the men hating forum members respond to your difficult predicament. Good luck.

Kayalana99

hippihaz wrote: »

hi, slightly off topic but can I ask how you don't have to pay CSA to him, if he is technically the resident parent? My husband has joint custody of my step-son and almost 50:50 contact, we have been told if we have exactly 50:50 contact one parents (her) is still the resident parent and we still have to pay her CSA payments (as per the website) - it seems silly as we share half and half (with her getting all CB too) and would love to know if a court ruled that you didn't have to pay maintainence or how it happened? Thanks

If he went to CSA they would force her to pay, I am guessing their was no agreement between you two and as such are doing it legally.

She *should* be paying CSA and if the Ex went through the legal channels he would get 15%-20% of her wage, but I also agree...why should one person get all the benifits plus CSA...I never really understood it either unless one parent is doing less then the other.

Dunroamin

Brewstersmum wrote: »

no as he wants her to wear new then moans about the cost!

Surely, if they've never been used, they are new?