arguing over school uniform

Brewstersmum

podperson wrote: »

I don't want to sound like I'm criticising but did you say to him that you would struggle to give him some money for uniforms at the moment as you've just been made redundant or did you say to him like you put in your first post that you didn't feel you should have to give him money for uniforms as you have to kit your other son out and no one ever helped you with that?

.

he asked me for me for money and I said I cant as I don't have any as you know. then he went off in a huff so I text asking what his problem was.....cue argument

paulineb_2

Brewstersmum wrote: »

I offered at the beginning of the hols to get uniform from a supermarket but he said no. now he just wants cash and has plucked £200 out of the air.

if all my children were living with me and I was claiming for them I would be on a hell of a lot more money than I am working my butt off and paying my way

Its realistic I think if he gets the working tax credits and child benefit that some of that could be spend on school uniform

Some of the supermarkets do school uniform for £4, not £200

I certainly dont think you should hand over £200 for uniform, particularly as you have them half the week and he claims the child benefit and working tax credits

On the face of it, he gets more help from the Govt to support them than you do and you both have them half the week

BitterAndTwisted

Texting? Isn't that what teenagers do?

Spendless

I'd expect to pay 50/50 over the younger twos uniform. I'd also expect to go through what still fits and isn't so stained/torn it's fit for the bin, including footwear and just buy new to the total amounts to top up (have done this today with my 10 and 13yo and just bought what we needed - it cost slightly over £100 though I still need a school jumper and tie so around another £20-ish). If you don't trust him not to say your share is £100 whilst buying from the £2 value range polo shirts. Take the kids shopping with items they need. If you are currently broke due to an impending redundancy can you suggest something they'll need later on. eg I have not bought teen a coat as he won't wear it/will lose it somewhere. I'll wait till we are hitting the colder weather and get one then. I know you can't do exactly that with two tots, but something like that.

paulineb_2

Brewstersmum wrote: »

I offered at the beginning of the hols to get uniform from a supermarket but he said no. now he just wants cash and has plucked £200 out of the air.

if all my children were living with me and I was claiming for them I would be on a hell of a lot more money than I am working my butt off and paying my way

Id tell him to shove off and if you buy them uniform, you buy it from a supermarket

It looks like hes overstretched himself buying the car and the ring and youve to make up the shortfall

Priorities, he has to get his priorities right, uniform first and car and ring after, thats the bottom line

paulineb_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

How about: "At the moment I really can't as I have no wage coming in until X date. When I get paid I'll make a reasonable contribution"?

If you have the children half the time then an argument could be made that you pay half but he's the one getting the child benefit, the uniforms could really be paid for out of that.

Your other child that's not his and any cars, rings etcetera he chooses to buy is nothing to do with this.

Cars and rings do have something to do with this if hes stuck for money because hes spent it on other things.

FatVonD

If he's getting all the benefits then I think it should be him that buys the uniform but I think the idea of saying you'll buy their winter coats later in the year is also an excellent one.

Is there no way you could claim benefits for one of the children and him the other?

Brewstersmum

FatVonD wrote: »

If he's getting all the benefits then I think it should be him that buys the uniform but I think the idea of saying you'll buy their winter coats later in the year is also an excellent one.

Is there no way you could claim benefits for one of the children and him the other?

no he would never agree to that even tho it would help me immensly

Brewstersmum

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Texting? Isn't that what teenagers do?

no its what people under the age of 60 do when they don't really want to have a conversation but need to get a message through to someone

JoW123

I have full-time care of my two children and get child benefit and ex pays CSA(at the moment!) Normally I would expect to pay for all the uniforms out of that 'cos I can budget all year for it but this year DS is starting senior school and uniform has cost more than double as a result. I asked ex if he would consider giving me any more (didn't ask for an amount, just a contribution). He told me he can't at the moment but will give me some when things are a bit less tight in the middle of the month.

Is your issue about buying them because you can't afford to at present rather than about contributing to unifrom in general?? If so maybe say you can't this year but next year you will be able to pay 1/2?? To be honest what he spends his money on is his business but if he's suddenly found himself short 'cos he has spent it on other things then you shouldn't be expected to make up the shortfall!! Maybe agree a plan to proceed for the future so you both know where you stand and can budget accordingly.