arguing over school uniform

Brewstersmum

paulineb wrote: »

Thats what you need to tell him, if he knows you dont have it just now what are you expected to do?

he knows as we talk often. he hasn't told me he has got engaged to his girlfriend and bought her a ring tho which I bet wasn't cheap. its obviously up to him what he spends his money on but I feel really bad that right now I cant provide

BitterAndTwisted

How about: "At the moment I really can't as I have no wage coming in until X date. When I get paid I'll make a reasonable contribution"?

If you have the children half the time then an argument could be made that you pay half but he's the one getting the child benefit, the uniforms could really be paid for out of that.

Your other child that's not his and any cars, rings etcetera he chooses to buy is nothing to do with this.

Wilma33

Brewstersmum wrote: »

last year I bought uniform and its never been used as he likes to take them to school and im often at work in the mornings so cant do it.

Can't they wear that?

Brewstersmum

Wilma33 wrote: »

Can't the five year old wear last years?

no as he wants her to wear new then moans about the cost!

dancingfairy

If your ex to your 2 youngest wasn't on the scene still you'd have to buy school uniform for all 3 on your own (Assuming they all lived with you). I think that you are perhaps taking frustration out on your ex of the other one and being made redundant on your latest ex.
It also must be extremely annoying /stressful to have no money and to see your ex splashing the cash.
You need to explain to him though that you can't afford it right now. Does everything need to be bought brand new or will some stuff do for a while?
I hope you can find a compromise.
df

Wilma33

Brewstersmum wrote: »

no as he wants her to wear new then moans about the cost!

Is it ok in your opinion? If so, just tell him you don't have any money so she will have to wear that or he will have to buy new.

Brewstersmum

Wilma33 wrote: »

Is it ok in your opinion? If so, just tell him you don't have any money so she will have to wear that or he will have to buy new.

I offered at the beginning of the hols to get uniform from a supermarket but he said no. now he just wants cash and has plucked £200 out of the air.

if all my children were living with me and I was claiming for them I would be on a hell of a lot more money than I am working my butt off and paying my way

Wilma33

Failing all else, can you put word around to your friends? Lots of people with kids have old school uniforms hanging around that they wouldn't mind giving to a friend.

podperson

I don't want to sound like I'm criticising but did you say to him that you would struggle to give him some money for uniforms at the moment as you've just been made redundant or did you say to him like you put in your first post that you didn't feel you should have to give him money for uniforms as you have to kit your other son out and no one ever helped you with that?

While they might both be true than one can be seen as a reasonable excuse while the other might rub your ex up the wrong way -after all your relationship and responsibilities for your first son aren't really his problem and shouldn't affect your arrangements for the children you have with him. I know it may grate to have to feel like you're placating your ex but sometimes it may need to be done in order to keep the relationship civil for the children's sake. Maybe you could try to come to an arrangement - such as he'll buy the uniforms now and you could maybe pay for some after-school clubs or trips later in the year when you're back on your feet.

Wilma33

£200 is ridiculous!