Please Help.

AlexLK

Orange_Ena wrote: »

I know its really hard to face this, people suggesting things, and do this do that, cut this etc. Most of us have been there and obviously you can take onboard all or a little of what we say, its your life and you should live it how you see fit . I hope that didn't come across as rude, I just hope you know what I'm saying. I could be debt free a lot quicker if I cut back to the bone, but I don't want to. I've made the cuts on the boring bills and for me, that is enough. Unless I lose my job or something, then I'll be living on beans!

You say your wife is unhappy and wants you to do something about it all. Well IMO, your're in a partnership and need to deal with things together. You could start being very frugal for example, but then your wife wants to spend this much on this etc. You may need to both make sacrifices in order to become debt free and live the life you want.

As the saying goes, it seems you're living a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget.

You can really do this, get a hold of it before it spirals and a bit of short term pain, will lead to long term gain. Good luck

You did not come across as being rude at all

Things are difficult and my wife has expressed a desire for me to return to work in my old industry. I would rather cut back than have to go back into my old job. The business is slowly picking up and I hope to be earning a little more come this time next year.

I know I am .

Thank you for your help.

AlexLK

cwal wrote: »

Contact BT and see if you can negotiate a better deal - standard line rental is about £15.45 a month, less if you pay it upfront once a year (about £144 I think then) I have broadband from them for £10.65 a month (down from £20 after negotiating) if you could get a similar deal that would save roughly £40 a month.
Good luck with cutting back, I am a bit concerned that your wife is on board but wants you to deal with it - it should really be a joint effort so you can support each other - i.e. she may like a haircut once a month but could she cut this back or go somewhere cheaper.

I am contacting BT tomorrow! It was on my to do list anyway. Also, I am not going to be ringing any more mobile numbers on the landline as I've been going through my bill this evening and that seems to be the biggest expense.

So, it appears I have made my first saving!

AlexLK

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

AlexLK wrote: »

OK I am going to try and answer all your questions.

- Do we need three cars? One of the three cars is 45 years old and costs next to nothing to keep. I've had it since I was twenty years old and do not wish to sell it.

Do you still need 2 cars though? Can you get rid of one and you and your wife share a car?

-- Landline telephone? This is for the phone, calls and internet. We are with BT.

Can you shop around?

Goceries? We spend about £300 on food / cleaning household stuff. £50 on takeaways and £100 on wine.

You can really cut this down. Do away with takeaways for a start. As another poster has said, batch cooking and freezing.

Haircuts - This is mainly for my wife.

Does she need to have haircuts every month? Local colleges often do hair cuts for £5 as students will cut your hair - I've been down that route several times and best hair cuts I've had!

My wife is very unhappy about how things have become and has said I need to do something about it. She is on board but wants me to deal with it.

I certainly think your wife needs to help with this. Expensive hair cuts every month etc is not going to help your situation.

Cars? Not really. We both need cars for our work which doesn't overlap.

Landline? Been through my bill and found it is ringin mobile phones which I am going to stop and ask that my wife does also. I am ringing BT tomorrow about getting a better deal and have been looking around at other providers this evening. If they can't match Virgin Media, I will be leaving BT.

Groceries? This is something I will have to speak with my wife about as are the hair cuts etc.

Katzen

Hi Alex,
with regards to what you see of other people 'having it all'- trust me when I say they probably don't! Either they are working all the hours in a job like the one you used to have so are hating life and not actually enjoying 'having it all' or they are doing it all on credit, which will be called in one day at it will all come crashing down.

The way I see it you have two choices- earn more or spend less. I would say one if easier and quicker than the other but the choice is yours. Let's see some positive steps in the right direction please, whichever one you choose.

AlexLK

tiny_courageous wrote: »

You say your wife is on board but it doesn't sound like she is. If this debt was racked up funding the lifestyle you both currently have, then she will need to make sacrifices in order to get rid of the debt. I know you say you're a spendaholic but you're also a partnership. There's such a thing as wilful blindness - I know I've suffered from that when my OH has been buying nice things - I knew deep down he couldn't afford it but that's where the willful blindness comes in. At some point you face the consequences - as a team.

Realistically you need to be putting your 4 maxed out credit cards on the SOA as well. They won't be silent forever.

You have lots of scope to make the £700 saving needed, but it's down to you both to choose where to make the sacrifices.

Things have been so difficult for her over these past few years. I don't wish to deny her what few luxuries she has left, after all it is my fault we are in this mess in the first place.

I do get nasty letters from the credit card companies but they've done nothing so far. As to what I owe them - more than I dare think about.

AlexLK

Katzen wrote: »

Hi Alex,
with regards to what you see of other people 'having it all'- trust me when I say they probably don't! Either they are working all the hours in a job like the one you used to have so are hating life and not actually enjoying 'having it all' or they are doing it all on credit, which will be called in one day at it will all come crashing down.

The way I see it you have two choices- earn more or spend less. I would say one if easier and quicker than the other but the choice is yours. Let's see some positive steps in the right direction please, whichever one you choose.

Thank you, I am going to try my best to make some positive changes.

tallyhoh

AlexLK wrote: »

I do wish to make changes. However, I look at what I've spent and believe I've cut back so much already. A few years back I spent a hell of a lot more than I do now.

I ought to add with regards to pens / watches when I sell the items I often end up making money. It probably sounds silly but I could start a small (pocket money) business out of watches and pens!

Then sell them & clear a debt, if you haven't made any CC repayments for some time then it wont be long before something happens like a court order. You are already overspending a great deal & with a CCJ that will add to the burden.

I really don't want to sound harsh here but putting a £100 a month for school fees (even if your parents contribute the same) seems a waste. I don't know where you would get a better school than a state one for £200 a month. You really don't have the sort of income even without the debts to support school fees.

I appreciate you & your wife work hard & feel you deserve treats, I am sure everyone one on here works just as hard but there comes a time when you have to draw the line & say no more.

theoretica

AlexLK wrote: »

One of the three cars is 45 years old and costs next to nothing to keep.

- Maintenance? It tends to be things I buy for the Triumph. It usually ends up going on my credit card.

Are these the same car?

ifstar

I think it seems like you are still in denial about your situation.
On one hand you have said you want to get stuck in and clear this but on the other hand you don't want to make much in the way of cut backs to deprive your wife.

You are overspending by £300 a month - £3600 a year. You have got credit card debts that you don't want to acknowledge and appear to think they will just go away as nothing has come from it yet. You need to get that thought out your head and include them in your debts.

Gas and electricity very high.
Groceries high - including £100 a month or £1200 a year on wine.
Fuel for cars - £450.
Road tax - £47 a month or £564 a year. (my diesel car is £35 for a year)
Clothing - £200 or £2400 a year.
Car maintenance - £100 or £1200 a year.
Other child expenses - £100 or £1200 a year.
Holiday - £250 or £3000 a year.

All the above could be cut dramatically if you really want to. You should be able to holiday abroad for the 3 of you for under £1000 a week easily.

I know you want to keep your vintage car, but you need to look at the other two as for car related stuff alone you are paying £672 a month or £8064 a year.

AlexLK

tallyhoh wrote: »

Then sell them & clear a debt, if you haven't made any CC repayments for some time then it wont be long before something happens like a court order. You are already overspending a great deal & with a CCJ that will add to the burden.

I really don't want to sound harsh here but putting a £100 a month for school fees (even if your parents contribute the same) seems a waste. I don't know where you would get a better school than a state one for £200 a month. You really don't have the sort of income even without the debts to support school fees.

I appreciate you & your wife work hard & feel you deserve treats, I am sure everyone one on here works just as hard but there comes a time when you have to draw the line & say no more.

I have been sat here writing a list of things I could do to improve the situation. One option is selling three quarters of my collection to put towards trying to pay some of the credit cards off. Another is selling the V8 Disco and buying a diesel one as the V8 one does 12mpg and a diesel one would do about 30mpg.

As far as my parents are concerned, the deal is we will pay half each but in reality, so long as they see I am trying my best, they will more or less pay for my son's school fees when he is old enough. They have already stated that they will help and that they do not want their grandchild growing up without the opportunities I had.