University as a couple

daisiegg

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Ouch, lol.
Still, to think otherwise at 21 would perhaps be sadly cynical.

Exactly. If anyone had tried to tell me when I was 21 that I wouldn't be with my boyfriend of 5 years forever, I would have thought they were crazy.

Person_one

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

When I said sorts of people I didn't meant it do come across the way it did, so sorry for that!

I'm sure some of them will break up but on the other hand I'm confident some will not. I would be beyond suprised if a few of them broke up, you can just sort of tell how solid a couple is sometimes. I am indeed 21 but the people I'm talking about are all different ages, from 20 to 24 so I'm not sure talking about a specific age group

Edit: aren't you only like 25 though? One year older than some of the people I'm talking about...

The most 'solid' seeming couple can break up at anytime. People can be incredibly skilled at presenting a front and hiding how things really are. Prepare to be 'beyond surprised' about separations several times in the next 30 or 40 years!

The only woman I know who married her first boyfriend didn't meet him until she was 20. I don't anybody who's still with someone they met as a teenager. I'm still friends with my 'first love' and while he's a very nice man and probably not a bad catch for someone else, we're so different now the thought of still being a couple is bonkers!

I have a photo of my group of friends and our 'plus ones' at our 6th form leaver's ball. We always have a smile about it because we all thought we were so in love and within a couple of years they were all history! :rotfl:

paulineb_2

EmmaBridgewater wrote: »

That's strange, but of course that's not the case for everyone. Several are getting married in the next few years.

Two of my friends got married at 21 and 23 respectively. One had been with their partner 4 years, the other 6 years.

One marriage lasted 3 months, the other 7 years, but it wasnt particularly happy.

One of my ex bfs (I met him at 18 and thought we would get married), married at 38 and the marriage lasted a year, he got married again about a year and a half ago, hes 44, same age as me.

I know of another couple in that circle of friends who married a couple of years after the first two and whose marriage lasted around 15 years but they are now divorced.

And I know of two couples who married not long after and are still together, thats around 20 years now.

Its impossible to call it, just because people get married in their 20s after being together a few years doesnt mean they will stay together, some will, but some wont.

merlinormartin

My husband and I went to college, Uni (same course at both), and now work together!

We're still together - 15 years May gone and expecting our first child next month.

Three cheers for young love :beer:

ellay864

Just as an update to my original post and to maybe provide reassurance to ant other parents in the same position as I was...son and g/f had a great time in their shared room in the flat. They socialised with and without their flatmates, met new friends as a couple and as individuals, and are still as loved up as ever. Her mum and partner have each sold their houses to move in one together and bought a house in my son's uni town as an investment, so son and his gf will actually rent there for this year onwards. It's a 3 bed semi that they're going to rent on their own but it's walking distance to their uni and they seem to have already got everything planned about how theyfit their social life in. They're really happy, doing well in studies and having a lot of fun, probably mostly together but that's what makes them happy. It's been nice to prove the doom-mongerers wrong

SingleSue

Carl31 wrote: »

I cant say i know anyone now (I am 33) who is still with people they were romantically linked with at 18, or for that matter have a life that they expected at 18, things change/happen, experience leads you down different paths, sometimes for the good, sometimes bad

My mum was 15 and my dad 17 when they met and started courting, they married when mum was 17 and dad 19.

They celebrated 54 years of marriage in June this year.

millysg1

That's great news OP.

Me and my OH got together at 18 (new each other from 16). I left where we lived and moved a couple hours away for uni leaving OH back home. We made this work for a year then he followed me to my uni town and moved in with some ex housemates of mine. We both lived in the uni town for 2 years but in separate places then moved back home once I had completed uni. Now, 10 years later we are married with our first baby on the way.

People can get through uni and be together from 18 but I am the only person that I know of out of all my friends. I see it as a bit of luck. I was quite a mature 18 year old and new things may never work and we may drift apart. We always had very similar goals in life and views on things which I think helped.

silvercar

Carl31 wrote: »

I personally believe that the ages of 18-25, for the majority (not everyone before i get blasted) are a period where we get out first taste of adult freedom, and therefore define ourselves over this period, we determine who we are and what we will do for the rest of our lives through the people we interact with and experiences we have. I think for those that go to Uni, this is more so than those that dont, they are escaping from the life they grew up with for a completely new one, a new location, new people.

I cant say i know anyone now (I am 33) who is still with people they were romantically linked with at 18, or for that matter have a life that they expected at 18, things change/happen, experience leads you down different paths, sometimes for the good, sometimes bad

In my own opinion i think its a bit of a shame that your child is about to emabark on a life pioneering experience such as uni with the restrictions they have, although good luck to them if it was to work out. I have friends that were in the same situation, and kind of regretted not making the most of the time they had at Uni, but you cant really tell that to someone

I met my husband at uni, as did quite a few of our friends. A lot of us married soon after finishing university. We are now in the circle of 50th birthday parties, having passed the silver (25) wedding anniversaries a couple of years ago.

Recently we went to the engagement party of one of our group's children, in her second year at university. I'm sure she has a great chance of it all working out fine.

kitty_kins

I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 24. We met at college. I was a year below him when we met but then I retook my 1st year as I wanted to change course. He went off to uni while I was still at college and I followed 2 years later. We had our own places but lived round each others constantly. He graduated and moved back home and I stayed at uni. When I was in my last year, we started looking at moving in together, which we did a week before I finished my course. That was last year and we rented for about 15 months before buying our own house in June this year. We've been together almost 6.5 years and we are talking seriously about getting married in a few years time. We also work together (for my family's company) and so we are literally never apart but still not sick of each other!

If it works and they are happy, there is no reason they won't stay together throughout Uni and beyond. We are the only couple to have done this out of our friends but that is because we have not had that 'panic' of the grass is greener. We are best friends and we are so right for each other that it is ridiculous! It sounds like your son and his GF are the same.

Encourage them to do what is right for them - don't let them get scared by the horror stories!

onlyroz

lika_86 wrote: »

But I wonder about the logistics of sharing a room. Have they thought about what will happen if one needs to pull a late/all-nighter before a deadline and so needs to be awake and using the desk etc to study/write an essay? Have they thought about what they will do if one of them goes on a night out but the other has an early morning the next morning?

Also, is there enough space for them both to study at the same time if needs be?

I shared a room for most of my time as an undergrad (with a girl, I might add, not as a couple) and it was absolutely fine.