University as a couple

lika_86

NoAngel wrote: »

So it can work. It might not, but whatever will be will be. If they split up, one of them simply gets another room.

Easy to say but, if things all blew up and ended badly, what are their liabilities under the contract for the room as joint tenants (presumably) ie. if one leaves are they still contractually obliged to pay and how much if the other fails to? Assuming they jointly pay a damages deposit, what if one moves out and needs to find somewhere else but the other refuses/can't pay them their share? If they have mutual friends in the flat, how is it decided who moves out and finds somewhere else?

It's sensible to at least think about these things in advance. My approach is always to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

lostinrates

lika_86 wrote: »

I know a couple who did this and who are now married so it can work.

But I wonder about the logistics of sharing a room. Have they thought about what will happen if one needs to pull a late/all-nighter before a deadline and so needs to be awake and using the desk etc to study/write an essay? Have they thought about what they will do if one of them goes on a night out but the other has an early morning the next morning?

Also, is there enough space for them both to study at the same time if needs be?

The couple I know had two separate rooms in the first year (different halls), although stayed together most nights but it meant they had their own space, once we moved into a house in second year they rented two rooms (one a tiny box room) to get around those issues).

Worst case scenario, have they thought about what would happen if they split up? Who stays? Who goes?

I'd advise they seriously think about these things and decide if they can actually deal with the realities of living in one room.

Its fairly recent the trend has been for exclusively single rooms. Shared rooms ( not couples, but two same sex people sharing a twin room) weren't that uncommon just a decade and a half ago at least, and people just got on with it in the first year, looking towards an own room in final year or a shared flat or house after first year. In fact, when a room mate was pulling an all nighter either you buried your head under a pillow or got floor or bed space with another friend/ bedfellow.

Eiteews

My husband and I went to Uni together after meeting at college - same course at both. We managed to rent a small flat through a scheme connected with the Uni and stayed there the whole three years which was ideal. Deadlines weren't much of an issue because we had mostly the same ones so I guess we were lucky there. I wouldn't change the experience for the world.

We're still together - 16 years in December married 8 years ago. So it can work

Shelldean

Maybe they've choosen a double room as the issue with single rooms is sometimes they aren't allowed any one to stay over, breaking this rule can mean being kicked out!!!.
Of course the kids broke the rule occasionally, but if doing regularly like a couple then the chance of being caught rises.

My DD uni had this rule.

cloudy11

My (now) husband and I went to the same uni. He went a year after me though and we were on very different courses, so it wasn't as though we were joined at the hip all the time. We lived together in my final year and his second year, and then he went off to do a year abroad for his course (and I started work in the UK).

It worked out really well for us, but we were both really independent people away from each other as well (we have very different interests and kept all of these up, so we met lots of different people to each other). I think it's just really important to make sure you have interests and friends away from each other so you're not in a bubble of two.

I'm never sure why people think you can't enjoy uni as a couple. As long as you're enjoying uni how you want to then I don't see the problem. It worked very well for us After all, loads of people meet at uni in the first year and I don't see that as that different.

claire16c

I'm surprised they've found a double room, they seem quite rare. I think they'd be better off with their own rooms, what if one has work and the other wants to watch tv?

My friend went to Uni with her boyfriend, had separate accom in yr1, they got on ok. 2nd year we moved into a 3 bed flat, so again they had their own rooms, they started fighting that year. 3rd year they split up & living in the same flat was hell I dread to think what would have happened if it had been one room!

I met my boyfriend before Uni and he's now my husband, and so did my two best friends, although none of us went to Uni with our boyfriends they were all working, so early relationships can last, but I still think you need your own space.

System

The only danger I see is if they are both doing the same course. They will effectively be in each other's pockets 24 hours a day, probably the same group of friends etc.

My experience in the workplace of this sort of situation where both people are on the same shift is that there is a higher incidence of break-up

CH27

The two couples I know who went to uni together had separate rooms in Halls so they had space to study. They did the same when they rented houses for the other years.

Having two flats helped with storage too.

One couple is still together but the other split during their last year so having separate rooms was a life saver.

Dunroamin

lostinrates wrote: »

Its fairly recent the trend has been for exclusively single rooms. Shared rooms ( not couples, but two same sex people sharing a twin room) weren't that uncommon just a decade and a half ago at least, and people just got on with it in the first year, looking towards an own room in final year or a shared flat or house after first year. In fact, when a room mate was pulling an all nighter either you buried your head under a pillow or got floor or bed space with another friend/ bedfellow.

It wasn't uncommon back in the sixties but ten years or so ago, shared rooms in halls of reidence were as rare as ducks' teeth!

GwylimT

My son had a couples flat in first year, instead of sharing with others you basically get a bedsit, at the same cost as a normal single room! They have been together since they were 16, currently 19 and going into their third year of university. My son does medicine and he does economics, so completely different time tables as obviously my son does lectures and 'works' as part of his course.