TallGirl's getting back on track diary

TallGirl

Morning lets see what today brings I have 4 team leaders and so far 3 of them are really not in a good mood this week (1 is permanently not) so far 4th one is fine but he has just come back from holiday.


I think I need to tell the 4 of them I am applying for that job, it isn't any of their business and if any of them asked I would tell them (I have already told 2). Pondering what to do as unfortunately the most difficult one of the 4 I would actually be directly line managing but not the other 3. My manager (the fantastic one) did a nice piece at the board meeting thanking me and saying some really nice things about it about my go to attitude and how I have not as per usual in a maternity leave kept things ticking over I have actively improved things. Nice of her.


Spend money on dinner last night as it was a late on the odd coffee is also creeping in again despite having free ones at Waitrose. Got my lunch all week and should get lunch at the meeting I am at Friday. Going down South Fri to Sun to see friends, have a cheap haircut and also go to the house. FIL hasn't replied I am not really bothered must mean ex DH isn't getting any better.


Got £149.40 to last me until the 15th for Payday, £8 to come out for new phone contract but that is it. Got £115 on credit card but I have paid 2 x £190 into my savings for presents and holiday. Need to get my nieces present sorted today that has just reminded me. So with all this waffle it means I have saved my usual £550 plus £380 and I should end up not in the overdraft this month. Will also only need 2 weeks train pass as I am on leave.

TallGirl

Sent email to the 4 re the job advert and told them I'm applying let's see what happens at least 1 will be great maybe 1 more well see.

Money wise not so good had forgotten to pay £50 deposit for ladies golf trip next year plus my contact lenses came out so a bit less in there now but should manage.

Out tonight with work one whole team is going my favourite one to an award thingy so it will be a good night they are all lovely and if we bring back the throphy that would be so cool.

FIL sent me a really nice email yesterday I'm going to put it on here

Xx thanks for your E mail.
A lot to discuss about the future.
First, whilst I don't want to be heavily involved, or take sides
with either - there are 2 conclusions which I have reached.

1. There is no way at present, that xx could buy you out.
that leaves just the other 2 options for you and Xx
to decide.
I visited him last night and after a long discussion,
he has realised that at some future date, he will not
live at No. 14.
2. From this, he has for the first time realised that he will not
be able to keep the cats. I went through the programme you
have in mind and again, although he does not like the end
result , appreciates that it would be in the best interests
of the cats. This may be of help to you in your discussion.

I would suggest that your meeting should be on a
one on one basis, just the two of you.
Write down any actions proposed, approx. time scale.

I am willing to assist you both in any way, to reach mutual
agreement,for you are both very dear to me.
I would like to see you this weekend - say Sunday at any time
and suggest it be at No.5 what ever is
convenient to your day.
Please let me know your thoughts on the above.

No 14 is my house no 5 is his but they are not in the same town even.

I think it's a really nice email and I'll definitely meet him. It's nice he still cares for me and I totally understand he cannot take sides.

Had a chat with DG last night and I'm also myself leaning more towards selling the house and then possible by something nearer to London as a buy to let to keep myself on the property ladder but not immediately wait for Brexit etc to play out a bit more.

I really didn't want to let the cats or the house go but if I get this job I will want to stay in London and I'm not coming back and once my friend next door moves there's even less ties with the area. DG has family there and I have my golf club friends and a few other joint friends that matter so loads to stay with and visit.

I'll insist ex dh moves out before we put it up for sale it will need total repainting and new carpets in two rooms plus there's two artexed ceilings left. I think the cost of that should come out of ex dh share as he's made the mess and lived for free over a year now. Yes I could wait and see if he self destructs but once FIL is gone it will be impossible to get him out with out a court order and then could I really leave him to fend for himself. Anyway feel content with this will email back and meet him Sunday and then try and talk to ex dh on Saturday if he's not !!!!ed already.

bugslet

Yes, I think that was a very measured and kind e-mail. It can't be easy for him to see his son disintegrate either, particularly at his age.

I'd sell the house and yes he will have to move out whilst the improvements are being done. Buy to let, if you want, there's no rush and just find a nice interest paying account if things aren't clearer for you buy the time the house sells. Your life appears to be in London now, whatever happens and as long as you have ties to the old area, you never entirely move on I feel.

TallGirl

Thanks bugslet I do feel like that as well I loved loved the house it was my first and only one and it was perfect garden and house. Life is much better now and I love DG and my job. I'm now seeing a friend tonight the one that has my old job, seeing another one tomorrow who I used to work week both a mutual friends. Then Sunday ex dh first and cats then neighbour and then ex FIL before I head home. DG will entertain herself no need to complicate things as dh and ex FIL completely unaware. Need to get dressed and pack the last few things so suffering from late night and drinks yesterday had to leave conference early to go to bed.

TallGirl

Sorry should have explained I was at work do last night didn't get to bed before midnight

safehouse

Hi TG,
what a lovely ex FIL you have, its great how he has not took sides and genuinely cares and wants to help. Sadly I never had that with ....what I will call my ex in-laws....they were to busy blaming me. Good Luck for Sunday, keep strong have my fingers crossed for you Xx

TallGirl

Evening all lovely weekend but a tad hectic. Met friend Friday the one who has my old job she's really nice but are facing redundancy her team is going from 4 to 3 however she has a good chance of staying and its a huge pay rise if she gets it. If she doesn't she gets six months work and redundancy so not all bad she'll get another job easy.

Saturday was friend I used to work with she's quit and manager impossible that's my ex friend and manager so glad I left there god it would have driven me mad if I'd stayed. That's three deputy managers she's lost first two after two years each and last one lasted 1 year she's also lost three others all supervisor posts last two lasted less than 6 months she's such a bad mananger.

Today neighbours and ex dh and ex FIL so a bit full on. Ex dh is still the same but he was sober he had had just eaten lunch so sign of any boooze. He's not happy about the cats getting rehomed he claims he's feeding them but neighbours he isn't feeding tinned stuff just kibble which is ok but I don't trust him.

Cats are much better managed to treat Thomas but Jack went off before he got his flea treatment so Next door will do that. Nice cat cuddle I so miss them. Got my stuff out tried to broach the subject of selling up I think he understood but he said things like he was working but when I challenged him he said he was going back Monday. He was still wearing his boot from when he broke his heel and he's still very unkept. Anyway spent about 30 min over there and then time with next door and DG.

Then went to ex FIL what a chock he'd fallen in a car dealers as one of the plates for the sockets in the floor had not been pushed down. Spent four days in hospital looked liked he'd been in a car crash. Another customer had witnessed it he's given him his number I think he should so personal injury what idiots the salesmen were seen trying to push the plate down as FIL was being treated on the floor. Nice man who passed a note to FIL via nurse.

Discussed the house and cats he said ex dh isn't capable of looking after them yes rehome he doesn't like it but he has to accept it. House he was surprised I think that I wanted to sell but could see it from my point of view. He wants to buy something for ex dh with maybe a small mortgage but when I said he needs to move out while the property is getting ready to sell and is on sale he obliviously has to think it through. He doesn't want us to fall out and he asked if I was happy with 50/50. I said yes and I don't want anything on the company but I think dh should pay for getting I repainted for a sale as that's his fault it's in a state. He needs to think about it but I think it will be an issue. Time scale he wants to start now I was prepared to wait but suits me if I have time off between jobs.

He does think dh is feeding the cats as they buy cat food every week (well they have not not every week). FIL was saying he's got better in the last two weeks he's allowed a bottle of whiskey a week plus beers but I'm not so sure he's sticking to it. Just so so sad for FIL he doesn't deserve this dh didn't even know he'd been in hospital no one rang him or of they did not sure he took it in as he didn't say anything to me.

I'm going to email ex FIL what I think needs doing to the house before a sale and he'll get tradesmen he's got a lot of contacts in the trade. He said I could have all of the stuff dh won't need it as it won't fit in his new place as it will be a one bedroom. I don't think so as I'm sure he'll want some of it but he does seem disinterested if I take anything these days. I would have to get rid of the lot I think I can't take much and not sure of the resale value could try when I'm down in August with some of the stuff upstairs. Much easier to paint etc if no funiture. Garage also needs clearing out and loft lots to do.

Lots to think about ill keep you updated so tired tonight

TallGirl

Financial update:
£41 left in the bank had to claw back £90 from holiday and present savings but I had paid double in this month. Should now last me as weekend was all on our joint account.

Owe £100 on credit card 1 due on the 20/7 so next pay cheque plus £32 for one weeks travel card on card 2.

Have bought most of the birthday present I need to buy so not a lot more to get.

TallGirl

The person I have been covering is finally back so given up my nice office but that's fine. Busy handing over and she's nice about everything just a tad busy and them my new CMS system had changed so I couldn't show it off to tricky team leader so annoying but not my fault. Wish I could go on leave now really need a holiday but also want to finish everything off before I go.

Client then annoyed me just as I was about to leave when that happens I know I need a holiday. Time to chill and cook dinner just want to veg out tonight really tired after being awake between 4am and 5.30am I know it was her coming back that did it.

Oh well onwards and upwards.

bugslet

Not surprised you were tired on Sunday - there's a lot to do in terms of organisation and emotionally it must be wearing.

Once the house is decorated and sold, the cats re-homed, do you think that ex dh will still figure in your life? I know there will always be a connection of sorts, but at the moment he still requires a lot of your mental energy in terms of worry.