TallGirl's getting back on track diary

safehouse

OMG TG ....what a shock for you, you must be devastated. Although you weren't together anymore still you had all those years......... god bless you and I hope you keep strong xxxx

bugslet

TallGirl wrote: »

I got an email while on holiday that I hadnt got the job not a lot else I know why and after the disappointment I felt fine. Tuesday I saw a perfect job very suitable for me

Got an email from brother in law in South Africa he wants to buy my share of the hous

Also found out my really old friend would love to adopt the cats but need to see how they get on with his cat and dog.

went over Monday and she found my ex fallen over in the lounge dead. Just horrible so she arranged for medics etc and called me. I had to break the news to FIL and BIL just not nice but glad it was me.

Feel so strange relief that it's over as he didn't have any life and at least it was quick

Found a perfect job to apply for where I know the CEO it's 28 hours but good salary so will apply but didn't really feel like it today. Closing date is Monday so time still.

.

Wow. Firstly, sorry to hear about not getting the job, I hope one of the other options works out for you and maybe turns out to be better than the one you didn't get.

I hope it works out with the cats meeting your friend's animals.

That was a shock. I'm guessing it will take you a while to process it all. Even though everything was over, you still spent part of your life with him. I felt much the same way after Mr Bugs died from dementia - ex Mr TG was no longer the man you knew to start with and possibly all he had in front of him was a steady decline and a very unhappy end that would have affected you and his family. I hope his Dad is OK, that must be very very tough for him.

Take it easy on yourself and I know you did your best for him; we can only help people so much, after that it's up to them.

gallygirl

So sorry for ex, you and his family but at least he is free from his demons now.

Good luck with new job applications, there sounded a lot of tension in your last company so it may be a blessing in disguise.

TallGirl

Thanks for all the lovely comments much appreaciated it's been kind of strange but now it feels better and I'm starting to think of all the good times we had a remember him when he was my soul mate and we were so close. Helps having my mum and dad around even if DG is at home. BIL is organising the funeral with his dad I'm happy with that but I'm sure things will raise its ugly head as BIL is very greedy and won't like that things will go to me.

I'm sure they will have arranged to cut ex out of his company but I never wanted a claim on it I never did anything for it and it paid for a very nice lifestyle but it isn't worth much and FIL needs it.

Spent all day applying for another job that's really perfect apart from being 28 hours per week. Finally spoke to manager it was as I suspected I didn't listen to the questions during the interview and I told her about the negative handover. It was good to talk and I'll finish my CMS system for them. However they weren't happy with the candidate so they are going to re advertise the job in September and I'm able to apply. She did say something else might come up in the meantime and I'm not sure either. Would be good might not be so good. Depends on how much they move on in the next month or so.

Playing golf with my mum tomorrow and visiting a friend for dinner. Then off to my sisters Thursday for my dads 80th then home Sunday.

So much is happening lots of thoughts about the house and my future leaning toward renting it out initially maybe even furnished saves me having to worry about the furniture. Also ex had a life insurance and a private pension so potentially could do quite well and not have to worry about work imidiately. As you've all said need to time to sort my head out,

Golf tomorrow ŵith my mum at my old course will be really nice.

Night night all

SuzieSue

Hi TG

Sorry to hear about everything that has happened.

Are you sure that you are still the beneficiaries of you ex's life insurance and pension as you BIL might have encouraged him to change the beneficiary?

Also, are you sure that you still own the house as joint tenants as it is possible for one party to sever the joint tenancy without the consent of the other party?

TallGirl

Hi SusieSue thanks for popping by I don't think his brother had a chance to do anything but I'll find out tomorrow. As for changes to the house the land registry has to inform both owners and they haven't.

Had a lovely day at home got my application form done, sorted the internet so it works much better and DG took the day off so we went golfing.

Secret_Saving_Squirrel

Hello,

Just wanted to send you best wishes. It is good that you have some breathing space and can decide what you really want to do.
I do hope family bitterness is kept to the minimum, but do remember that it is fair that things go to you and don't get sucked into negativity from others. Xxxxxxxxx

bugslet

Good post from Squirrel:T

Glad to hear you are managing to make time for yourself.

TallGirl

Thanks Secret Squirel I hope we can stay on good terms I'm not too fussed about the funeral but want to keep cost resnoable as he had no money just the house and the pensions.

I'm seeing them both today at 12 but hoping to get to the house first even if it is a d tour. Lots to do as I do want to get house back in shape. My cleaner has been in three times now and she says there's still lots to do. Should be in a better state than when I last saw it but garden will need sorting that I'm sure off.

Can't wait to see the cats hope it goes well with getting them to the vets as its a tight schedule and I don't want them locked up all day today just so they are around for 4.30 and the vets. Look forward to seeing friends tonight at least 5 are coming from the golf club and many more has sent messages.

TallGirl

Morning really good day actually yesterday.

Met with bil and FIL who was at home as he's not very mobile. We talked for a bit FIL said about the life insurance and pensions that I needed to contact them but so did he as the employer they were paying into them.

Then we went and got the flowers organised I went with seasonal in yellow and purple going to be £350 but didn't go over the top.

Then we saw where the wake is going to be that's all fine they are closed for the day but will open up for us nice little courtyard at the back and it's a simply finger buffeet. Bil then took me for lunch and we had a good chat about ex and other things and he did say he's now a director of the business and I inherit ex share. I didn't really know what to say as I thought they had written ex out of the business some months ago. He did say with FIL they have majority shares which I had expected. I'm not sure how I feel about it bil worked one year for the company but he did put money into it to start it so did his mum. Anyway the company will not run without FIL so they will ask the staff or sell it so might not be a long term thing.

Then saw the cats Thomas was really friendly brushed him and found he's full of fleas even though I treated him one month ago. Couldn't get hold of Jack saw him on the fence but that was it. Took Thomas to the vets he's back to normal weight actually better than he was in Dec so happy about that. Booked jack in for tonight so he better be around.

Then quick shower and met up with girls at the local pub 10 of them came so lovely to see them all. I do have lovely friends and many are couples who knew ex as well as are coming to funeral. Lovely evening really nice to see everyone and chat to them all happy to help out and wants to stay in touch. On lady is particular close to me and in the police so she let me know about ex loosing his license way back. She asked if there was someone in my life and I said yes. I told her it was a she and she was fine really happy for me. She then said as I cannot go on the main golf weekend due to my nephew confirmation would I like to go away with four of them in March. I asked of DG could go she said yes so I now have to tell DG she's playing in a completion in Devon in March. She better get better quickly.

Today will be busy too meeting DG mother then old manager and ex friend very briefly then catching up for lunch with people from my old work and then going to FIL tonight after vets. Busy busy but all good

Oh and finally washed the sofa covers look like new actually so I think I can save them. House is disgusting though even with cleaner there 3 times needs so much more work and garden really overgrown. Will have to do what I can can't do it all

Important to do today list:
Find marriage certificate
Buy cat food
Buy cleaning stuff incl mop, fabric cleaner, washing up bowl etc
Continue to wash and run dishwasher