Providing spending money for child going on hol

Spendless

paulineb wrote: »

If the overall costs were the same, does it really matter? The thing is, they might have overspent and had no option to ask your daughter to pay it out of her pocket money, the only way you could do it differently next time is to have a longer chat with them and detail what you want the money to be used for exactly

Also, I would imagine money probably goes quite quickly when you have kids to entertain, even if some things are subsidised, cost of eating out, cost of getting into places, wont exactly be cheap.

No it doesn't really matter but a) I am at home ill with an ear infection unable to stand up as it makes me dizzy and I thought it might be an interesting topic to have a conversation about instead of lying her bored and feeling miserable about it.

b) I do think I need to do it differently next time, but how I am unsure of. Friend's mum is not particularly organised so wouldn't know in advance what they were doing (whereas I would).

But to detail costs

Eating out was 1 fast food restaurant
Trips out was 1 trip to funfair (paid for by my vouchers for both my daughter and her friend). No admission costs for adults
Crazy golf - daughter had it paid for
trip to pub - daughter claims she had 1 drink but I'm not sure on this it could have been more
aquarium - daughter paid her £5ish charge in out of £20 pocket money.

I'm just surprised my £40 didn't cover all the above with a little bit over to cover the price of the food she ate in accommodation.

victory

rhubarb22 wrote: »

Absolutely, but this should be made clear when inviting them, ie saying would XXX like to come with us to XXX, and explain that, to make it possible they would have to contribute a certain amount of money, then everyone knows where they stand, and what is expected. Also maybe this could then put the other parent under pressure to send their child on a holiday that perhaps they cant afford to contribute to, but their child wants to go on.
I think under the op circumstances, that the child shouldn't have been made to feel awkward, because most children are used to the adult who is with them paying, and don't expect to pay for themselves.

I fully agree:D the OP child should have never been asked for money on the spot like that, I said to the OP I couldn't understand that.

Money is such a contencious issue these days, you're right, it's always better to have the financial contribution dealt with upfront, my DS goes often to the cinema with his friend, I know one week I contribute the pop and popcorn or sweets and the next time it's the cinema cost and the other mum gets in the goodies....

Spendless

rhubarb22 wrote: »

Absolutely, but this should be made clear when inviting them, ie saying would XXX like to come with us to XXX, and explain that, to make it possible they would have to contribute a certain amount of money, then everyone knows where they stand, and what is expected. Also maybe this could then put the other parent under pressure to send their child on a holiday that perhaps they cant afford to contribute to, but their child wants to go on.
I think under the op circumstances, that the child shouldn't have been made to feel awkward, because most children are used to the adult who is with them paying, and don't expect to pay for themselves.

Yes this is why I gave the money to who I did. I didn't want daughter feeling awkward about paying for things that when she's out with me I pay for but at the same time I didn't want to put friend's mum in awkward position having to refuse a drink an ice cream, change for slot machines buying a £1.99 1D bracelet etc.

Spendless

victory wrote: »

I fully agree:D the OP child should have never been asked for money on the spot like that, I said to the OP I couldn't understand that.

I have no idea what they'd have done if DD didn't have enough, considering it was the last full day and she hadn't been told before she was expected to pay, if the reason behind this was they'd run out of cash.

victory

Spendless wrote: »

I have no idea what they'd have done if DD didn't have enough, considering it was the last full day and she hadn't been told before she was expected to pay, if the reason behind this was they'd run out of cash.

A cashpoint card, money out, job done, adult parent in charge of your DD takes on the imminent financial situation upon themselves and does not bare it down onto a child's shoulders, no money, don't go, the beach is free, the park is free, people watching on the promenade is free...

Kayalana99

Tbh I try and look at this from the other point of view.

Was it actally clear what the money was for in your head? Is it simply just a misunderstanding?

If I invited a childs friend on hoilday...and thier mother had offered me £40 ...even if the hoilday had been pre booked I would of thought it as a contribution towards it all. I wouldnt of invited the child and expected the money no...but I would of thought that *if* offered it would be towards the hoilday...so yes partly for accomdation food petrol etc...it wouldn't of covered it probally not but thats how I would of seen it...

Unless you made it clear it was for extras.

I still would of paid for the aquaruim though...:D

victory

Receipts as well would have been helpful, even if it was not possible in some instances being a seaside resort but then write down on a piece of paper the exact cost of each expenditure and then hand it over with the change, I have most certainly done this before...

victory

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Tbh I try and look at this from the other point of view.

Was it actally clear what the money was for in your head? Is it simply just a misunderstanding?

If I invited a childs friend on hoilday...and thier mother had offered me £40 ...even if the hoilday had been pre booked I would of thought it as a contribution towards it all. I wouldnt of invited the child and expected the money no...but I would of thought that *if* offered it would be towards the hoilday...so yes partly for accomdation food petrol etc...it wouldn't of covered it probally not but thats how I would of seen it...

Unless you made it clear it was for extras.

I still would of paid for the aquaruim though...:D

Oh I'm getting far too involved in this thread...:D

I can't agree.... The hol was paid, that's all covered, paid, the petrol costs do not go up with another in the car, no extra expense... The food would, the entertainment would, the drinks would, the ice cream would so £40 plus £20 plus vouchers covered the extra mouth....

I do very much agree no way should the child have been asked to pay for the aquarium:D

Spendless

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Tbh I try and look at this from the other point of view.

Was it actally clear what the money was for in your head? Is it simply just a misunderstanding?

If I invited a childs friend on hoilday...and thier mother had offered me £40 ...even if the hoilday had been pre booked I would of thought it as a contribution towards it all. I wouldnt of invited the child and expected the money no...but I would of thought that *if* offered it would be towards the hoilday...so yes partly for accomdation food petrol etc...it wouldn't of covered it probally not but thats how I would of seen it...

Unless you made it clear it was for extras.

I still would of paid for the aquaruim though...:D

I gave the money as I dropped DD off at their house, and handed over an envelope containing the funfair vouchers and said and showed the £40 and though I can't remember word for word what I said it was along the lines of 'that's to cover things for my daughter, like if you go out for a meal'. That's when I was told they had no plans to eat out due to how much it had cost last time so I said 'well there's still things like going out for a drink' daughter had said they would be going to a pub where they could sing kareoke.

Poppy9

TBH I didn't think £40 was that much to give.

I live by seaside and when DD was younger and as I worked part time I was often free childcare! I would take them cycling or roller blading along sea front. An ice-cream from one of the parlours would set me back about £10 for us all.

Even if I prepped a picnic for the beach I would spend a tenner buying some nice bread, fillings, snacks etc.

Sometimes they wanted to go further afield and had to drive so petrol!

I was never offered money by the parents - I wouldn't have taken and 1 of them always reciprocated when DD was with them but one mother was so blooming mean. If DD was invited over to go roller blading I would always ensure she had £1.50 for an ice-cream and everytime the mother would ask the girls for their money after asking them if they wanted ice-cream!

We often take DD best friend out with us for meals and she used to look awkward and offer money but she knows now she's invited as our guest. DD has never been invited out by her parents and it didn't really bother me as they don't do the whole "have friends over" but last week they took out their DD boyfriend for a meal to meet him. And now I think - not once in 6 years have they ever taken DD with them! (they are 18 now)