Providing spending money for child going on hol

ska_lover

I think it is probably not enough to be honest. £40 in my opinion is viewed as a 'contribution' towards the cost of the holiday - fuel, food etc. Food at three meals a day, breakfast dinner and tea, can add up a bit.

It is a single parent and I would definitely rather over compensate than the other way round, and think she has a good heart to offer to take another child on a holiday.

If it was me, I wouldn't just send my child with enough money in their pocket to pay for treats, I would want to contribute to the holiday fairly and I think you did the right thing giving the mother some money

skylight

Your DD is 10, £40 for food/activities is plenty and I think that they should have paid for the entry to the aquarium; its not as if your 10yo had much of a say in where they went either!

We've just come back from a 3wk trip to Spain, at my dads house, with a friend of my eldest DD who are both 11 (just). Her parents gave me £100 for food/drink etc and I used that to cover everything including trips out, ice creams, safari park entry, restaurants etc. She also had her own spending money, so if she wanted an extra large ice cream she paid the difference.
I wouldn't have dreamt of telling her that we were off to the safari park but she had to pay her own entry fee from her own pocket money. As it happened I spent over £100 on her, but shes come on a family holiday with us.

On a similar vein, my DD is now spending this weekend with them all at their caravan. I've given them £15 for food (its only 3 nights and I've checked what their plans were and there are no plans for entry fees) and £20 pocket money (with instructions to bring some back!) Likewise, they would not allow my DD to go without.

I'm quite shocked that your "friends" made your DD pay to go into the aquarium. Its not quite the spirit of the holiday. Especially as it was booked before they even invited your DD to go along - the cost of the trip was always going to cost them the same.

Okydoky25

Prob just me but if I was to invite my sons friend on a break I wouldn't accept any cash in the 1st place. It would have been me inviting the child as a guest to keep my son company. Any money given to that child would be for themselves to treat themselves to as you say Tat tbh.

As an adult I certainly wouldn't have put your daughter in the uncomfortable position of paying separately for something.

BitterAndTwisted

If the holiday was booked and planned before the OP's child was invited then that forty quid shouldn't have had to cover fuel, just food and entertainments not covered by the vouchers.

I suspect what happened was that the parent took advantage of the one kid gets in free with one adult, and the OP's child was an additional expense, and if the child had no pocket-money on her to pay for her entrance-fee they wouldn't have gone in

Spendless

I wasn't seeing it as 'contributing to their holiday' as such. The holiday was already planned and booked for before they asked DD to go along to. Initially she wasn't going as she was doing something else that week, it was only when the week got changed by them and not to do with my daughter's availability that she could go. I saw giving the money as paying for the additional costs of having dd with them.

balletshoes

my initial thought on this was, the £40 and the vouchers you gave them Spendless should have covered everything that your DD was doing which was the same as the rest of the group was doing, and her pocket money should have been for her to spend on souvenirs etc.

I'm in the planning stages of taking my nieces away with us in a couple of years time. Its a trip that I would be going on anyway with my DD, and I'll be changing the way we travel so that in total for 4 of us the travel and accommodation costs won't cost more than it would normally cost for the 2 of us. I will be asking their parents for attraction entrance money (again, cheapest way I know how to do it to keep the costs down) and money for food for them (its an expensive place to holiday). The oldest niece will, I'm sure, have her own pocket money which she will use for souvenirs, and my brother will no doubt give me money for my youngest niece to buy her a few treats too.
So, for this trip, there will be money for attraction entrance, money for food, and then their own spending money, which I won't be in charge of for one niece, and which I'll keep separate from the other money for my youngest niece, so its just spent on what she wants.

victory

Spendless wrote: »

I wasn't seeing it as 'contributing to their holiday' as such. The holiday was already planned and booked for before they asked DD to go along to. Initially she wasn't going as she was doing something else that week, it was only when the week got changed by them and not to do with my daughter's availability that she could go. I saw giving the money as paying for the additional costs of having dd with them.

The only thing I don't agree with is asking your DD to pay the entrance fee as they already had £40 of your money?

azzabazza

Spendless wrote: »

They went for 4 nights, 3 full days there plus 2 travelling home, where they set off around lunch time on 1st day and arrived back around 3pm on last day (2 hours drive away). I did give dd £10 pocket money, however she had been given another £10 off my parents as a present and had saved that especially to take with her. They travelled by car and the aquarium child admission was around £5.

In addition to the £40 I had also provided £20 worth of vouchers getting the kids fairground rides for free.

victory - no money was found at the end

I still think I would have given a bit more, saying to Mum it was to cover emergencies! I would then have expected change if money left over! However, it is a difficult one to call. If I were in the same situation I wouldn't have asked a child accompanying me on an outing for entrance money unless I was told child had money specifically for this purpose.

My kids once were supposed to go to my Mum's for a 5 day visit while we had a short break. She demanded housekeeping and then asked my in-laws to have them after day 2 as something better had cropped up!! I never did get a refund on the housekeeping!

Spendless

Okydoky25 wrote: »

Prob just me but if I was to invite my sons friend on a break I wouldn't accept any cash in the 1st place. It would have been me inviting the child as a guest to keep my son company. Any money given to that child would be for themselves to treat themselves to as you say Tat tbh.

As an adult I certainly wouldn't have put your daughter in the uncomfortable position of paying separately for something.

I am mindful that friend's mum is a single parent. It depends on our financial situation as to whether we would/wouldn't ask for any money for my kids friends.

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If the holiday was booked and planned before the OP's child was invited then that forty quid shouldn't have had to cover fuel, just food and entertainments not covered by the vouchers.

I suspect what happened was that the parent took advantage of the one kid gets in free with one adult, and the OP's child was an additional expense, and if the child had no pocket-money on her to pay for her entrance-fee they wouldn't have gone in

This is how I was thinking re the money, but do you mean the aquarium? I don't think they had the 2 4 1 voucher on them, it was me who saw it on the compoany's website.

Spendless

azzabazza wrote: »

I still think I would have given a bit more, saying to Mum it was to cover emergencies!

What sort of emergencies do you foresee a 10yo causing to cost money? I can't think of any off-hand.:cool: They were in this country so medical care is free. We were a 2 hour drive away in case she was some homesick she wanted to come home (so no additional petrol costs). Those are the only things I can currently think of.