can I keep telling my neighbour to lower the TV volume?

FBaby

Judi wrote: »

I hear my neighbours telly when I go to bed at night. Its comforting. I don't see him that much but at least I know he's alive.

How do you know? The TV could be on but him dead in front of it? Sorry off topic, but this puzzled me!

Errata

With a bit of luck the council will find her more suitable accommodation and then move a family with a brood of noisy obnoxious kids into the property.

aileth

Errata wrote: »

With a bit of luck the council will find her more suitable accommodation and then move a family with a brood of noisy obnoxious kids into the property.

OP can have my neighbours if he wants. I'd take an old lady with her tv on too loud over students who blast dubstep, throw beer bottles into my garden, rip fences, rip bedding plants out and decide to use a hammer drill at 11.30 p.m. at night to put up god knows what any day.

Rev

cloudy11 wrote: »

I feel for you OP. I don't think that being 90 is an excuse to behave selfishly to other neighbours. People saying 'just ignore it', have you ever actually suffered this type of noise? We did in our old flat and it was totally unbearable- loud, selfish noise is loud, selfish noise no matter if the person is 98 or 28. We moved away in the end as it was just horrendous. Not being able to hear your own TV or have a conversation due to the loud TV noise of a person in another property (elderly or not) will just wear you down and it gets very, very depressing when you can't relax or live normally in your own home.

My grandad (97) has his TV on so loud you can hear it in the driveway as you're walking up. Luckily he is very detached but if you had to live next to that it would drive you totally insane and would absolutely unbearable. If he was playing loud music like that it wouldn't be tolerated if he had neighbours, and rightly so.

I really don't think you should be calling it war though! Being aggressive (no matter how annoyed you are) won't help matters. I would get in touch with the council and ask them specifically about this issue- they probably have experience in it.

Yes I have. My neighbours for the last few years have been atrocious. If they're not screaming at each other at the top of their voices. She's got her karaoke machine on murdering (and I seriously can't stress enough how bad she is) some pop song or he's doing some DIY at 11 o'clock at night. Then their dogs are barking constantly. And I mean constantly.

They're not the type of people you ask to turn down the noise. The house was raided a few months back because the police found out he had a weed farm. Spent two days emptying the house of it. Only to release him on bail a day later.

So an old lady with a loud TV would be bloody marvellous to me about now.

Any

FBaby wrote: »

Of course we can all sympathise with that old lady, but if she also showed any sign that she sympathise too, she would agree to make an effort and wear headphones. They do very good comfortable ones nowadays and I know a few elderly who have resorted to them because their family are going insane with the level of TV sound.

Being 90 does mean you gain a right to selfishness. She is seriously disturbing a neighbour and should be prepared to consider compromises. Gosh I really hope I don't become like this when I'm older.

Saying that, I don't understand why referring to war with this neighbour and why you think that knocking on her door every evening is going to make it any better. Why don't you write her a letter explaining how much the noise is affecting you and asking if she would agree to consider trying new headphones, if only at certain time when it affects you most. Write that if she isn't prepared to discuss any compromises, you will be left with no other choice but to take it with the council as it is starting to affect your well-being.

I completely agree.
I have visual impairment I wear glasses.
When I get old and loose hearing, I fully intend to wear hearing aids.
Just because she is old, doesn't mean that she can take a mickey and put TV on so loud (and this sounds like all the time, as she has no other entertainment and doesn't go out!!) because "she can't be bothered".
Sorry. Completely with OP on this one.

By the way, just because someone is 90 doesn't make them automaticaly lovely person!

System

FBaby wrote: »

How do you know? The TV could be on but him dead in front of it? Sorry off topic, but this puzzled me!

He does turn it off at times you know. Plus the fact I can hear his phone ring and hear him talking. I hear his doorbell and hear him talking to whoever comes to his door. I hear him cheering when he's watching the football and his team wins.

He's a creature of habit (much like me really) I know the time to the exact minute he goes for his morning newspaper (9.30) and I know when he goes back down to the shop for his evening newspaper (4-4.30).

A stalker I am not but I have happened to live next to him for the last 51 years.:D

duchy

aileth wrote: »

OP can have my neighbours if he wants. I'd take an old lady with her tv on too loud over students who blast dubstep, throw beer bottles into my garden, rip fences, rip bedding plants out and decide to use a hammer drill at 11.30 p.m. at night to put up god knows what any day.

Yep
My last neighbours used to start the day with him screaming at her she was an F***ing Wh*re" and often ended -after their druggie mates had left after a post pub few drinks with music blasting with physical violence either in the house or the street outside- both would get carted off on a regular basis to the cells to seperate them (they were as bad as each other).

The day they moved out four different neighbours stopped me and said "You must be so happy-we felt so sorry for you living next to that"

The new neighbour's baby is teething ....and they worry the noise might disturb me....Not a chance !!

I do think the OP has lost any balance over this though - declaring "WAR" on a ninety year old is going to make him the "bad" neighbour and he needs to be finding a better solution. I admit if the 90 year old really was feisty enough to tell him to "F-off" though he must be a right bolshy neighbour to have to live next door to as most 90 year olds wouldn't do that so there is probably a bit of history on BOTH sides and the OP isn't the perfect neighbour either !

My boyfriend has just moved into a new place and a few days after moving in - he was still at work and one of the neighbours knocked on the door at 11.30pm asking if a van that was parked earlier outside was ours (it wasn't and was no longer there) I answered the door in my PJs (BF was still at work and all the lights at the front were off so it looked like we were in bed although I was still up) and looked at him like he was nuts -as whatever his issue with the van was -the van was no longer there so it could have waited til morning (I was in all evening btw no need to have knocked so late). He got the message (politely) it was inappropriate to knock so late .....but it really peed me off that someone would be so inconsiderate .....Maybe the OP's neighbour is also is tired of the OP coming around to complain so late too when a discussion at a more sensible time of day would be more appropriate ?

FBaby

He does turn it off at times you know. Plus the fact I can hear his phone ring and hear him talking. I hear his doorbell and hear him talking to whoever comes to his door. I hear him cheering when he's watching the football and his team wins.

Well that I can understand, it is just that a colleague of mine just told me a few months ago that her father in law (who leaves away) wasn't found dead until 2 days after his death when his son visited. He had died in front of the TV and neighbours said they were very sorry, they assumed he was ok because they heard the TV (not their fault).

catkins

I do sympathise with the OP but think they are going about things the wrong way. Surely much better to try and get on reasonably friendly terms with the neighbour and then try and discuss the noise of the tv.

My next door neighbour (am on the end so only one neighbour) is also 90. I know she is slightly deaf (comes in handy when I want to play my music fairly loudly and sing along sounding like a cat being tortured!). Her radio which she switches on at 7am and turns off at 6pm is obviously against the party wall, in the alcove where my settee is. I can hear it clearly. If I don't have the radio or tv on I can hear the presenter talking as clear as if it were my radio. If I have tv or radio on I can hear it as a sort of dull background noise. It is annoying especially as I suffer from migraines and want quiet when I am having one (can hear the radio in my bedroom too).

I assume she puts her tv on at 6pm but I can't hear that as it is obviously in a different part of the room.

Some days it annoys me more than others - usually if I have a bad head (even on days I don't have a full blown migraine I often have a bad headache). I could move my settee but the way the furniture is arranged is the best way for the room.

Having lived next door to neighbours in the past who did not work and would play music very loudly (often in their garden) until 3am, play one piece of music over and over again (Unchained Melody which I now can't stand), argue at the top of their voices, slam doors and sound like elephants running up and down the stairs, I feel I can put up with hearing the radio.

If it gets any louder though I will speak to her nicely about it. We get on pretty well and she can't help being a bit deaf

cloudy11

Rev wrote: »

Yes I have. My neighbours for the last few years have been atrocious. If they're not screaming at each other at the top of their voices. She's got her karaoke machine on murdering (and I seriously can't stress enough how bad she is) some pop song or he's doing some DIY at 11 o'clock at night. Then their dogs are barking constantly. And I mean constantly.

They're not the type of people you ask to turn down the noise. The house was raided a few months back because the police found out he had a weed farm. Spent two days emptying the house of it. Only to release him on bail a day later.

So an old lady with a loud TV would be bloody marvellous to me about now.

I am really sorry you have awful neighbours. I have had lots of awful neighbours in the past (the joys of living in flats!), including people being raided by the police for drugs, so I know how soul destroying it can be.

However, just because other neighbours can be worse, why should the OP have to put up with a neighbour acting selfishly in a completely different way? Selfish is selfish and it's not on that it should just be accepted because she is old.

I would also totally agree with others that just because someone is 90 doesn't mean they are a nice, pleasant elderly neighbour. Horrendous young neighbours or horrible young people have to grow up- and they will often still be selfish neighbours or horrible people at 90.