can I keep telling my neighbour to lower the TV volume?

cybervic

We have a noisy neighbour (90 years old) who plays TV very loud. We've written her 3 letters and it's useless. She invited us to her flat after receiving our second letter. We thought she wanted to discuss the TV problem and must be a nice lady but she just went on and on about her whole life story and show us all the photo from her past without wanting to talk about TV noise. She only kept repeating that TV is her only amusement as she can't go out.

The loudness continues for more than a week and it's driving us nuts. I finally went round knocking on her doors 3 nights ago, and she basically told me to !!!!!! off. She said she isn't going anywhere, she can't help it, she can't hear very well, and if I don't like it I can move coz she is not going anywhere. She doesn't like wearing hearing aid or headphone because it's uncomfortable. She then asked me to go away and shut the door on my face. Later that night, she played the TV so loud that I can't even offset her TV sound when I turned mine loud too.

We have decided to call the council and make some formal complaints. Obviously, this is WAR! I'd like to know if I can keep ringing her doorbell and ask her to turn the volume down everything she plays it loud. Will I be harassing her? I am hoping that because she will be fed up with answering the door and finally agree to do something about the noise.

Rev

A 90 year old woman who can't get out and is hard of hearing wants to watch her TV and you declare it WAR!

I'd have told you to bog off too if I were her.

Just leave her to enjoy her twilight years.

jazabelle

That's unfair to the OP. I'm not saying they should harass the neighbour - but I'd be upset with a TV on constantly so loud I can't hear my own and just because she's older doesn't make the problem vanish.

It may be a letter from the council sorts it, but I do feel for you. I really struggle with loud noise.

Molly41

Im always telling my mother to turn down her tv but she ignores me. It is rude of her and just because she is 90 she should not be rude and ignorant. However you will come off worse as she will be seen as an innocent old lady and you a monster so I would suggest you dont keep knocking and go through official channels.

dibuzz

Our 90 year old neighbour's TV has got louder as she's got older.
For years she lived next door to my 4 young children who must have disturbed her at times so I'm not going to complain about her TV.
Yes it does get annoying at times but it could be far worse.

bagpussbear

No point in going round there again as it seems she is not willing to compromise. Get onto the Environmental Health noise nuisance folks.

I don't like seeing an old lady harrassed and it's certainly not WAR as you suggest, but at the same time it's making your life uncomfortable so go through the proper channels to try and get a compromise or solution, maybe she could move the tv to a different part of the room if that would help.

I don't think being 90 is an excuse to being rude to others. But it does mean you have to adjust your way of dealing with this I'm afraid.

andygb

She is 90, is obviously quite lonely, because she invited the OP in to have a chat - her life story, and the television is the only thing which keeps her occupied/happy.
I would be interested to know what time of day the old lady has her TV on, because there are limits on what you can expect from others.
We have a neighbour who is learning the clarinet, and another down the road who plays the drums, I would never dream of asking them to stop playing.

cloudy11

I feel for you OP. I don't think that being 90 is an excuse to behave selfishly to other neighbours. People saying 'just ignore it', have you ever actually suffered this type of noise? We did in our old flat and it was totally unbearable- loud, selfish noise is loud, selfish noise no matter if the person is 98 or 28. We moved away in the end as it was just horrendous. Not being able to hear your own TV or have a conversation due to the loud TV noise of a person in another property (elderly or not) will just wear you down and it gets very, very depressing when you can't relax or live normally in your own home.

My grandad (97) has his TV on so loud you can hear it in the driveway as you're walking up. Luckily he is very detached but if you had to live next to that it would drive you totally insane and would absolutely unbearable. If he was playing loud music like that it wouldn't be tolerated if he had neighbours, and rightly so.

I really don't think you should be calling it war though! Being aggressive (no matter how annoyed you are) won't help matters. I would get in touch with the council and ask them specifically about this issue- they probably have experience in it.

FBaby

Of course we can all sympathise with that old lady, but if she also showed any sign that she sympathise too, she would agree to make an effort and wear headphones. They do very good comfortable ones nowadays and I know a few elderly who have resorted to them because their family are going insane with the level of TV sound.

Being 90 does mean you gain a right to selfishness. She is seriously disturbing a neighbour and should be prepared to consider compromises. Gosh I really hope I don't become like this when I'm older.

Saying that, I don't understand why referring to war with this neighbour and why you think that knocking on her door every evening is going to make it any better. Why don't you write her a letter explaining how much the noise is affecting you and asking if she would agree to consider trying new headphones, if only at certain time when it affects you most. Write that if she isn't prepared to discuss any compromises, you will be left with no other choice but to take it with the council as it is starting to affect your well-being.

irishjohn

Does your neighbour have any friends/family/support workers who visit regularly? Could you ask for their help? Perhaps show how to turn on subtitles permanently for her?

Constantly ringing her doorbell would not go down well - could be seen as harassment.

The official route to be taken when there is a noise issue is to

• report to local authority
• at their request keep a log of times of excessive noise
• Local Authority will visit and measure noise level
• If they find it exceeds an acceptable level they will communicate this to the offender
• next they will issue a noise abatement order to the offender
• finally they will take the offender to court to obtain a conviction, a fine and a judge to order the noise to stop and the local press will publish the story with a sad story and a photo of the criminal
  

Davesnave

A very emotive, emotional post, which has mainly brought similar reactions thus far. That figures.

Something might be done about this. I know because it cost me £££k losing a house sale in similar circumstances. The old lady's son, who originally claimed, "Nothing can be done!" suddenly found the motivation to have a hearing loop installed.... It wasn't expensive.

The result was instant peace & quiet + a very happy old lady who could hear her TV properly for the first time in years.

Obviously clinical conditions vary, but this looks like a possible way forward. If there is no son in this case, then maybe social services could advise?