can I keep telling my neighbour to lower the TV volume?

tori.k

Are you in a flat or a house? My MIL is very much like your old lady she is housebound and other than us and the carers that go in each day, the googlebox is her only company. after the neighbours complained about the volume of the TV we moved the room around so it wasn't on the party wall this has helped but not eliminated the problem but her neighbours do understand that her hearing like everything else is on the way out. and gracefully put up with it, unfortunately life is compromise to live around others.

troubleinparadise

There was a similar situation featured on a television programme recently where the local council noise abatement officer was called in to deal with an elderly gentleman who was pretty deaf had his telly on too loud and disturbing the neighbours.

Over a period of a couple of months the lady officer was able to get him to comply by assisting him with a hearing aid, and getting him to understand why it was a problem for others around him, whilst sympathising with his own problems - but was firm that it couldn't go on.

So try your local council - at least it takes it out to an official third party to deal with, although it might not be an overnight solution.

I'm sure it is maddening for you, but it is a lonely old 90 year old, not a deliberately difficult younger person who just doesn't care.

Browntoa

"gift" her a set of wireless headphones and set them up for her to the tv

surely the expense is worth it for the quiet

aliasojo

Oh God OP I sympathise. Our old neighbour was a nightmare with noise. Same situation, old lady, deaf, telly so loud you could hear it miles away.

We said nothing for a long time because we tried really hard to understand her position and we knew it wasn't her fault but the straw that broke the camel's back was 3am one morning when whatever film she was watching had guns and fighting and it was so loud our daughter was sat sobbing her heart out in her bed because she couldn't sleep for the noise and the bangs were frightening her. OH was up for work at 4am and hadn't slept a wink.

We couldn't keep living like this so I had to bite the bullet and go round and politely ask if the sound could be lowered a bit. Neighbour moved her telly off our party wall but tbh we still always heard it.

It's surprisingly stressful listening to someone else's noise night after night after night.

I second Davesnave suggestion of approaching social services in the first instance just to enquire if there is anything that might help and how to go about asking the old lady to consider it.

Prothet_of_Doom

Invite her in to your house for Sunday Lunch, once a month, offer her lifts to the shops, and take her to a really expensive electronics store and get her to try out all the head phones they have. Pay for them.

Unfortunatelty you have drawn the battle lines and whilst that would be socially acceptable if you were living next to a bloke with a loud stereo at 3am, it is social suicide, to 'bully' a 90 year old through officialdom.

Although we all sympathise.

My neighbours have the occassional row, which wakes me up, but hey, but it's not a constant problem.

FBaby

It's surprisingly stressful listening to someone else's noise night after night after night.

Absolutely. When you work full-time in a town/city, are submitted to loud noise non stop all day, and then get it again when you are supposed to be resting and recuperating, it does become extremely stressful to the point that it can really affect your health. That's why compromises have to be made both ways. There are many ways to reduce noise levels for people who are hard of hearing that much cheaper and less disturbing than moving out when that is the only choice left to those victims of noise pollution.

19lottie82

Although I agree the OP could have worded their post better, I don’t agree with people calling her selfish, when they have no first-hand experience of how bad the noise is.



If it is really that bad, I’d give it one last ditch attempt to get her to reduce the volume, or wear headphones (which,yes, the OP could pay for. Taking her out and letting her pick some cordless ones herself would be a good idea), but if there is still no progress, I wouldbe on to the councils antisocial noise department.



As others have discussed the fact that the neighbour is 90, doesn’t mean she can go on like this. People of all ages should appreciate the comfort of others and try to compromise. Old age is not an excuse.

System

I hear my neighbours telly when I go to bed at night. Its comforting. I don't see him that much but at least I know he's alive.

19lottie82

Judi wrote: »

I hear my neighbours telly when I go to bed at night. Its comforting. I don't see him that much but at least I know he's alive.

Yes, but in fairness there is a difference between hearing the TV and it shaking the entire house, which is how the OP has described it.

aileth

As someone who has suffered from noisy neighbours in the past, I can definitely sympathise with the OP. However, I do think students blasting music 'cos f*** u bruv i can do wat i want innit' is a bit different to a very elderly lady with hearing problems having her TV loud so she can hear.

I think if you had actually got to know this lady and maybe became a friend to her, she'd be 10 times more happy with your request. Now, I know you certainly can't do this with all neighbours, especially the 'innit bruv' students, but if she is lonely and if TV is her only enjoyment, chances are she would've relished the opportunity to have a neighbourly friend.

I don't know whether it's just the way you worded it, but you come off as quite aggressive and intolerant, and I'd say that's probably why she told you to f*** off. I certainly would've done! Bake her a nice cake, write a letter saying you're sorry if you were abrupt but you're sensitive to noise, but her TV really is too loud and you would like to sort it out and become friends, then when you are on sweet terms, offer to get a hearing loop installed or take her for some nice comfortable headphones!