If you're married do you

GwylimT

I have always called my inlaws mum and dad (or sometimes Ibu and Bapa), you are part of their family so you should recognise that and it is a sign of respect.

annie_d

Absolutely not

view

Seems main consensus is that most folk don't call MIL and FIL mum and dad.

Are there any folk on here who are in their 50's or 60's (or above) who have son/daughter in law who call them mum and dad and like it, or not?

Here's one for you, bet not many people do this.... sometimes when I see the cat doing something funny, I'll say to my hubby, 'look at your little furry girl, dad' as in the cat is our furry child!... ha yes, I know.. I know!

Dunroamin

view wrote: »

Seems main consensus is that most folk don't call MIL and FIL mum and dad.

Are there any folk on here who are in their 50's or 60's (or above) who have son/daughter in law who call them mum and dad and like it, or not?

Here's one for you, bet not many people do this.... sometimes when I see the cat doing something funny, I'll say to my hubby, 'look at your little furry girl, dad' as in the cat is our furry child!... ha yes, I know.. I know!

I'm that age group, although without inlaws, and I wouldn't be too keen on one of them calling us by our first names - I'd prefer something individual if it wasn't going to be mum and dad, although I too think that you rarely actually use someone's name to their face.

olgadapolga

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Was she calling you mum or talking to the baby about you, eg if she was holding the baby and the baby began to cry, could she have said "mummy will be back soon"

Nope, she wasn't talking to the baby about me (that I could understand) which is why it was so creepy. I'd walk into their house and be greeted with "And how are you today, Mum?" or if she offered me a drink it was "Would you like a cup of tea then, Mum?".

Totally weird. It's as though I'd had a baby and lost my identity. Which, knowing her, is probably exactly what happened in her eyes. I'd only known my DH for a couple of months when she started on about grandchildren - I was 18 at the time and children weren't a consideration at that age.

But she never, ever called my DH (her son, obviously) "Dad". I told my DH that I didn't like it and was told "it's harmless" so I had to point out to her that I did actually have a name and I wanted her to use it if addressing me in future.

Actually, it was probably at that point (when I'd had my first baby) that my relationship with the in-laws deteriorated completely. Over the last 13 years I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen them. DH takes the children but I stay well away (for lots of reasons which I won't bore you with, that's a whole thread on it's own!).

Funnily enough, she also called my DD (the first baby) by another name (not "mum" though :rotfl:) until my DD, at the tender age of two, told MIL that her name was "Xxx" not "Yyy" and that she wanted her proper name used.

neverdespairgirl

double_mummy wrote: »

neverdespair girl is your LO also speaking hebrew? my LO does and i havent found anyone else with kids around the same age who does

we are abba and eema when he is showing off lol

Yes - since he was born, I've only talked to him in English, and OH only in Hebrew. Until he started school, his command on the languages was roughly equal, but as his education is in English, his English has improved faster. The only other person he speaks to regularly in Hebrew is my brother-in-law (DS' uncle) and about twice a year, with all his hundreds of second to fourth cousins in Israel.

Isaac was 8 last month, and he's always called me Mummy, and always called OH Abba, whichever language he's speaking in.

neverdespairgirl

Lagoon wrote: »

As it is, I don't ever really call people by their names, and so it's never come up. How many situations really require you to say the name of the person you're talking to, before you begin speaking?

If I'm talking to someone else, outside of the family completely, then she's 'OH's mum'.

Quite a bit, if you've got a family the size of mine! I'm one of 4 children, and my parents each have a childless brother, so add in my OH and my son, and on family occasions such as Christmas / Easter etc, you have to preface any comment with the person to whom it is addressed.

And on the phone - I pretty much always say, "Hello <name>, it's NDG"

neverdespairgirl

lady1964 wrote: »

My parents and my in-laws (both in their 70's) both called their respective in-laws 'mum & dad' so I do think it's a generational thing tbh.

I've not really come across it - my parents (born right at the end of the 1940s) called each other's parents by their first name, and the only one I know about, my Granny (born 1915) called her mother-in-law Mrs <surname> for the entire time between when she met her, when Granny & Grandad got engaged, and 35 years later, when the MIL died.

I called OH's parents by their first names, from the beginning, and OH's grandparents Mr and Mrs <surname>.

neverdespairgirl

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'm that age group, although without inlaws, and I wouldn't be too keen on one of them calling us by our first names - I'd prefer something individual if it wasn't going to be mum and dad, although I too think that you rarely actually use someone's name to their face.

Cards or letters or emails, you do, though?

So you'd need to pick between Dear "Mum", "Mrs Puddleduck" or "Jemima" at that point.

ognum

We have DIL and SIL they call us by first name, we called our FIL and MIL by first names.