If you're married do you

BugglyB

I am 30 and call my in laws mum and dad.

Yes, I already have a mum and dad, but they are not so insecure in their positions that they feel threatened by this. They are happy that I have another family that cares so much about me and that I am accepted within my husbands 'clan'.

Abbafan1972

I would never do that, I would use their 1st names.

DH calls my parents by their 1st names.

Any

BugglyB wrote: »

I am 30 and call my in laws mum and dad.

Yes, I already have a mum and dad, but they are not so insecure in their positions that they feel threatened by this. They are happy that I have another family that cares so much about me and that I am accepted within my husbands 'clan'.

I think that is the point. "acceptance". In my culture going against the tradition means you are not accepting them.
Surely the term "mother and father in law" comes from somewhere?
I am not dishing anyone who doesn't want to do that and feel it is an "old tradition" thing or whatever, but "I have just one mother" is not really an.. explanation? don't know what word to use..
This is not trying to replace the birth mother in any way, it is just accepting people as a part of your family...
(though some are not worth accepting! But the same sometimes goes for birth parents..)

I call her "mum", but don't say "this is my mother". I say "this is my mother in law". There is still separation of roles.

catkins

Definitely not. When I got married they said to call them mum and dad but I never have. I have a mum and dad and plus I don't get on with the in laws.

I don't call them by their first names either unless I really have to.

OH calls my parents by their first names but he gets on really well with them

BugglyB

Any wrote: »

I think that is the point. "acceptance". In my culture going against the tradition means you are not accepting them.
Surely the term "mother and father in law" comes from somewhere?
I am not dishing anyone who doesn't want to do that and feel it is an "old tradition" thing or whatever, but "I have just one mother" is not really an.. explanation? don't know what word to use..
This is not trying to replace the birth mother in any way, it is just accepting people as a part of your family...
(though some are not worth accepting! But the same sometimes goes for birth parents..)

I call her "mum", but don't say "this is my mother". I say "this is my mother in law". There is still separation of roles.

I totally agree. I dont think everyone should have to do it, but it saddens me that some people find it weird.

We have a grown up relationship, but I do feel like a daughter in the in the sense that I will take care of them when they are old, I would call on them if I was in trouble, I don't have to ask to take food from their fridge, etc, etc.

LittleMissAspie

No and if he called my parents mum and dad I would find that creepy. It would be as if he was trying to be my brother, yuck.

Auntie_Social

My ex hubby lost both his parents within 10 months of each other when he was 18/19. He called my parents by their first names until the day we married, on our wedding day he asked them if he could call them "Mum" and "Pops" (which is what my brother always called Dad) as he hadn't a Mum or Dad of his own. My parents said he could ... and he did for the 9 years we were married. We are now divorced, and when we speak he refers to them by their first names again.

Mrs_Ryan

I'm not married but OH calls my Mum and Dad his in-laws but refers to them by their Christian names which is how they introduced themselves to him. I call his Dad and step-mum by their Christian names as well - my BIL and SIL both call my parents by their Christian names, I think my parents and OH's parents would find it strange their children's spouses/partners calling them Mum and Dad!

clearing_out_my_pockets

It was my birthday a few weeks after we got married; my birthday card from my in-laws was signed "mum and dad". Every card before this had been signed with their first names. My husband had a word and they have reverted back to first names.

angeltreats

No, I call them by their first names. As much as I love them, it would be a bit weird.

My husband's grandmother though, I have always called her "Grandma" and while she was still able to get out and about (sadly she isn't these days) she always send me birthday and Christmas cards "To My Granddaughter" which I loved.