Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

bugslet

GDB2222 wrote: »

In case it helps, my DW is finding it increasingly difficult dealing with her elderly mother. DW is a really kind, caring person, and even so she's getting frustrated. It's hard, and it often seems that her mother is being deliberately obstructive. And DW's mother's dementia is not all that bad.

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I did that bit last year and Lady GDB has my sympathy! You really have to get to a place where you go along with anything unless it's life-threatening. Mr Bugs is no trouble at all now, there's sort of nothing there.

I'm currently twiddling my thumbs and not working because the home called the doc, who has called an ambulance to have him admitted to hospital. I just don't know which hospital he is going into. I think it's a case of getting tests done more urgently so they know what they are dealing with. The discussion has already been had with the GP that it's about keeping him comfortable rather than any attempt to cure/delay the obvious outcome.

PasturesNew

bugslet wrote: »

The discussion has already been had with the GP that it's about keeping him comfortable rather than any attempt to cure/delay the obvious outcome.

Not sure if they've mentioned it yet, but, if appropriate, is the place where he is now happy to keep him on if the worst comes to the worst?

I know every home has different criteria. Some won't take somebody in for palliative care, but they will keep an existing resident to the end. Others might not have the resources and will expect you to find a new home.

You should at least know these answers now, in case they're staring at you asking you what to do.

It's a whole new world of surprises that nobody tells you about.

bugslet

The home is split into two buildings, the 'other' one is where they do nursing care. It looks the same inside as the part he is in, so he probbly wouldn't know much difference.

Probably find in a few days he gets over whatever it is and is healthy after worrying us all!

silvercar

bugslet wrote: »

G
Yesterday was the first time when I was unsure if Mr Bugs recognised me or not. He is undoubtedly getting worse in terms of the dementia and we are waiting for a CT scan appointment as there is a strong suspicion that the cancer is moving up a gear.

So sorry to hear this.

I had yet another crisis trip to visit my mother at the weekend.

Many discussions were started, but she won't make decisions on anything. I have now got frustrated with it all and told her that choosing not to do anything is a decision in itself. So I am no longer accepting that she is where she is because she can't decide on anything, but that she is where she is because she has decided to be.

My sibling has announced they are definitely moving next year. They will be at least a 7 hour flight away, so all the responsibility will fall to me. I have told my mother that either she needs to be in better contact with friends nearby and be willing to ask favours of them or move near me.

lostinrates

Dear bugslet, I am so sorry.

The only thing to give you comfort is that its probably harder for you than him. We'd probably all chose to save our dearest ones pain and take it ourselves. Living it however must be very, very hard.

lostinrates

Nikkster wrote: »

I think LIR might have posted a link to the very same light?

But its worth showing again. Not the light really, just the shadows.

lostinrates

Went to bath to meet NDG. . Had a lovely time.

NDG was one of the first 'names' I remembered and recognised on Mse. (And dopester and pastures) and so meeting her was a bit like meeting a living legend!

(Even if we did suffer some pretty bad busking from a Sinatra wannabe).


Before meeting her I spent far too much at space nk...its the excitement of going out now I do so less. I spent so much they gave me a big bag and credited my space nk reward account (which until today I have always scoffed at so meaningless is it) with fifteen quid. I cannot believe it. And I'm going back for one of the evening events in autumn to spend it and get a goody bag (the goody bags are always good).

I did manage to resist the mascara for seventy quid. Considering I get those little eye infections all the time and throw mascaras away it seems a bit excessive, But its a beautiful, velvety black. All soft and luscious.

I'd love to work in space nk. Its like a big girls candy store.

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

So sorry to hear this.

I had yet another crisis trip to visit my mother at the weekend.

Many discussions were started, but she won't make decisions on anything. I have now got frustrated with it all and told her that choosing not to do anything is a decision in itself. So I am no longer accepting that she is where she is because she can't decide on anything, but that she is where she is because she has decided to be.

My sibling has announced they are definitely moving next year. They will be at least a 7 hour flight away, so all the responsibility will fall to me. I have told my mother that either she needs to be in better contact with friends nearby and be willing to ask favours of them or move near me.

Is there a half way option? I know she says no home, what about one of those deluxe complexes where its like a luxury flat on a not olds feeling complex of oldies? If she sold here place would their be the money for that? I think they are quite pricey aren't they? (I mean, I have no idea, but I guess so?) Is there one near where she is now so her network stayed as it is?

vivatifosi

lostinrates wrote: »

Went to bath to meet NDG. . Had a lovely time.

I can't begin to say how excited I am that you two have finally met. It's one of those things that I always thought had happened years ago.

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

I can't begin to say how excited I am that you two have finally met. It's one of those things that I always thought had happened years ago.

Well....we all kinda know each other.....we talk a lot, don't ya think?