How do I curb wife's spending

tabbykatt2306

So basically you are doing everything??

Pay_no_attention

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Print this thread out and show it to her - she needs a harsh wakeup call.

Do not keep any cash in the house and don't give her any. If she asks about cash for meals/coffees (incidentally £30 is TOO much there) tell her she can pay for that out of her wages.

I'm appalling with money. OH deals with the bills. We have separate bank accounts, and I pay him a set amount each month and do a food shop. The rest of my wages are mine unless something comes up that we need to both put money into. It works for us.

HBS x

I have always been curious how other people manage the household expenses.
What percentage of your salary do you think you have for yourself? I'm not asking for the amount just what kind of percentage.
Another thing that always crops up. I agree that toiletries should be paid for from household budget. But my wife likes fancy cleansers and bath scrubs etc. my argument is these should be paid for from her own money. What's your take on that?

Pay_no_attention

heartbreak_star wrote: »

She works! Why are you giving her money all the time?

HBS x

Yes she does work and we do have all the money go into one account. She does not have her wages plus this money on top. I am left to manage the finances out of both our incomes. Not just mine. She receives £50 per week form her wages same as me. What I am saying on top of this she wants lots of extra money out of the joint account for other expenses that I feel could/should be paid out of her £50

borkid

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I suppose I am partly to blame as their is no trust at the moment with me letting her take some of the control of the budget. I even do the weekly groceries as any surplus would be spent. If I was to give her 80 she would spend 50 and I would not see the other 30 so half way through the week she would need more for groceries. So now I even have this job to do every week. I see it as a way of saving money.

Do you shop on the high street? If you use a supermarket then she pays with her credit card and you transfer the correct amount of money to pay off the food element of her CC bill. Alternatively you could shop online and just give her small amounts of money to get say a loaf of bread or something little in the middle of the week or she could buy the small bits out of her £50 and you reimburse her..

cte1111

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I thought £50 per week would be plenty to have for personal money.

To some people £50 a week is a fortune, to others it's barely pocket money. Perhaps you could ask your wife how much she would be happy with? This would need to include meals out, so as to save arguing about this again in the future. Then you both need to work out where (if anywhere) this extra money can come from in the budget.

What do you think the £50 should cover? Perhaps you could both do a list and see how they compare.

We have £35 a week each in cash. I use this mainly for going out (I play bridge several times a week and go to a knitting group) plus occasionally buying food when I'm out for myself and the children. I also buy bits and pieces in the shops, e.g. stationery, postage, magazines etc. My husband uses his cash to pay for lunch and coffees when he is at work, plus he does the lottery.

In addition though, we also use part of our monthly budget to buy other bigger items, e.g. I needed some new moisturiser last month and that went on the credit card rather than out of my budget (£40 I know that's a lot but it's what works best for my skin). We also buy clothes from the separate bigger budget. If we are going on a night out, then this is also a separate expense.

My husband and I are pretty in tune on money, one of the reasons our relationship works well. My ex was (is) hopeless, including stealing from the bills money to buy cigarettes and junk food. It wasn't something we could get past, the lack of trust from me and lack of respect from him was too much. I hope you and your wife can get past this though, it sounds like you want very much for the relationship to work.

heartbreak_star

I'd say after paying my own debts and my share of the bills and mortgage, and doing a fair sized food shop, I have about 40% of my salary left. And I have to pay petrol, car tax and repairs out of that too.

We buy toothpaste/brushes, shampoo and handwash out of the household budget, but as he likes Nivea Men and I like Lush, we buy our own personal toiletries.

HBS x

Pay_no_attention

tabbykatt2306 wrote: »

So basically you are doing everything??

Pretty much

tabbykatt2306

Household expenses should not include personal care items, in our budget they have always been included separately in personal column, but we do things jointly as I'm a stay at home mum (we have four smallish children), and so I do not have any of my own income.
On the same stance, lunches and coffees while out do not count as household expenses either, if your wife feels they should then suggest she buys herself a lunchbox
£50 per week on personal spending is well above the average, what does she spend this money on if she is buying personal items and the lunches out of household budget??

Pay_no_attention

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I'd say after paying my own debts and my share of the bills and mortgage, and doing a fair sized food shop, I have about 40% of my salary left. And I have to pay petrol, car tax and repairs out of that too.

We buy toothpaste/brushes, shampoo and handwash out of the household budget, but as he likes Nivea Men and I like Lush, we buy our own personal toiletries.

HBS x

Maybe the first step then is what we both feel should be purchased out of our personal allowance money.
Maybe I can get help to make a list. Some of the things I might suggest to her maybe seem unreasonable.

Pay_no_attention

tabbykatt2306 wrote: »

Household expenses should not include personal care items, in our budget they have always been included separately in personal column, but we do things jointly as I'm a stay at home mum (we have four smallish children), and so I do not have any of my own income.
On the same stance, lunches and coffees while out do not count as household expenses either, if your wife feels they should then suggest she buys herself a lunchbox
£50 per week on personal spending is well above the average, what does she spend this money on if she is buying personal items and the lunches out of household budget??

Luxury items. Like designer clothes,shoes bags etc