How do I curb wife's spending

Dimey

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I will speak with her tonight. Their must be other people in a similar situation I suppose.

Part of your role as Father is to teach your daughters to fend for themselves. So why not give this query over landlords requiring 1yr rent, to your daughter to investigate.

Tell her you've just heard a rumour about it. Ask her to investigate if its true and to find written proof about the legality/rules. Ask her to present you with a solution for herself so you know how she's going to handle it. Maybe give her a deadline to come back to you on it.

You don't need to tell her you're thinking of funding it yourself. Wait to see what she comes up with. You might be pleasantly surprised. And you won't be wasting time doing the research yourself.

Mojisola

Most unis have a forum like this one - https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=39

Very useful for finding out info.

nat21luv

Oh I feel for you PNA, my ex was much like your wife in both finances and personality. I used to get the silent treatment all the time.

Here's a thought. Why don't you hand the reins over to her, let her sort out her finances from now on. Tell her she needs to cover half of the household bills just as you will. You can then focus on your debts and she can keep digging herself into a hole....or mature and sort out her finances. I'm going to put money on her sorting out her finances immediately and I bet she won't spend a penny she managed for years without you, she can do it again.

~Chameleon~

nat21luv wrote: »

Oh I feel for you PNA, my ex was much like your wife in both finances and personality. I used to get the silent treatment all the time.

Here's a thought. Why don't you hand the reins over to her, let her sort out her finances from now on. Tell her she needs to cover half of the household bills just as you will. You can then focus on your debts and she can keep digging herself into a hole....or mature and sort out her finances. I'm going to put money on her sorting out her finances immediately and I bet she won't spend a penny she managed for years without you, she can do it again.

But she didn't. She got herself into debt which PNA is now paying off for her. I honestly don't think she has the skills to budget or the awareness of just how much she is spending.

Pay_no_attention

nat21luv wrote: »

Oh I feel for you PNA, my ex was much like your wife in both finances and personality. I used to get the silent treatment all the time.

Here's a thought. Why don't you hand the reins over to her, let her sort out her finances from now on. Tell her she needs to cover half of the household bills just as you will. You can then focus on your debts and she can keep digging herself into a hole....or mature and sort out her finances. I'm going to put money on her sorting out her finances immediately and I bet she won't spend a penny she managed for years without you, she can do it again.

My wife's income would only cover a small percentage of our weekly outgoings. I don't have a problem of contributing the largest proportion to the pot,my problem was with her constantly spending more than the £50 per week we permitted ourselves. Any surplus when I was on my own I used towards the debts. Although now we should have more money going into the kitty as we have her wage and the mortgage is covered by rent on the UK property we seem to be worse off. I seem to be constantly dishing out money.

Pay_no_attention

For those that are interested my daughter filled the car back up with fuel last night after her trip.
I transferred the deposit for the uni room last week and she gave me the cash. I come to check it and she had given me £20 to much so she was pleased when she got home and I gave her that. It probably eased the upset a little bit of having to fill the car up.:)

ska1982

Woop! result!
Honestly I think it will make her feel more 'grown up and independent' and it's what she'll have to cope with shortly anyway.

Pay_no_attention

I'm hoping my daughter has now realised we couldn't carry on the way we was doing. Obviously she has overheard the arguments about the weekly budgets. Also she has asked me this morning if I will help her do a spreadsheet to budget her finances whilst at uni.
Also to help in choosing the right student account.
Maybe a corner has been turned.

markdebby

PNA, all good news. I hope it continues.
As you say you could not keep up the way it was going.

Voyager2002

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

No I did not know this. This is the first experience of one of our family going to university. My daughter has got halls for the first year. The deposit has been sent for that.
Can grandparents be the guarantors as both sets are still alive and well? If this is not possible then I have another future problem on my hands.

Yes, or family friends... basically anyone with checkable address and credit history.