Terminal illness....Save or Spend?

samtoby

What price can you put on memeories?

Money is money - some people have it some don't and if your left it and I have been left money, it is sometimes hard to know what to do with it. I ended up putting it towards my house deposit.

I am sorry you are having to ask a question like this and wish you all the best xx

brenda10

Lushmush
Every minute you spend with your children will add to their special memories, happy memories will always carry them through. you are a very special person, a VERY SPECIAL MAMMY. :pTake care xx

SDG31000

A very dear friend of ours died in September last year and he left things like 18th birthday cards containing money so that his girls could have their first legal drink on him. Also money for the family to go on holiday for his first birthday since his death and written instructions about what to do on certain days. He was all for the "live each day as if it is your last" take on life.

My Dad died when I was 11 and things I wish I had include recordings of his voice/video of him, copies of the bedtime stories he made up for me and silly information like how tall was he. He always seemed so tall to me, but I don't think he actually was.

I wish the best for you and your boys and hope that you get to make many more wonderful memories with them xxx

affordmylife

so sorry to hear this.

take loads of photos. something your children can look at and remember later on.

get them actually printed out like we used to. on a computer is just not the same.

much love to you at this difficult time x

oh and definitely spend the money. go out and have tons of fun and take photos of you all having fun xx

lushmush

Thank you everyone!!

Very excellent answers from you all :-)

Financially I have nothing.....I don't own a house, a car, nothing.
All I have is whats in my home.
I don't have an insurance policy unfortunately. Its something I was always going to do and never got round to.
Neither do I have a Will as of yet as I am trying to think of the right thing to happen to the boys. I want them to stay together but I don't know if it will be possible.

I am really excited to start my memory boxes. Its a brill idea with the perfume, I am going to wear some everyday to instill the smell-memory!

The boys don't know what is happening to me. I feel they won't understand and I don't want them to be scared of the future.

Like any parent I just wish for happiness for them, I wish I could win the lottery so we could have the best time ever :-)

xx

building_with_lego

lika_86 wrote: »

http://www.fromyoutome.com/personalised/name.html.php?type=Son

How about these books for something to pass on? They give questions for you to answer.

I bought one of these for my Dad and I treasure the replies I got. I then wrote my own questions and pasted them into a notebook for my Mum and eagerly await the results! I do think this is a lovely idea as the questions are very wide-ranging from the ancestors to childhood to parenthood to future plans.

If you like I'd be more than happy to send you the questions I wrote- they're pretty much what come in the books but you can tweak them to make them more personal. Just let me know .

Galaxy1987

I lost my mum at the age of 7 and still remember her smell. She wore a specifically smelling one so that we woild always remember. Maybe find a unique perfume and start to wear it (something u like) that way it is not just another perfume. If u get me. Get a few bottles and leave them for them.

Also:
Birthday cards for special birthdays 16, 18, 21, 30 with a personal message of how much u love them etc
Anything you do to make memories keep a momento. I.e. zoo = tickets, baking= the packet/receipt ( strange but will have all the info with dates etc)
Plenty pics regardless of what is happening.
Do things seperate for each kid that way they have things to share and talk about and not just remembering same things.
Do things without them with friends/family this will give others a chance to share events and stories that the boys will enjoy listening to.
Get each of the boys to oick something that you can get 2 of (one each) and get buried/cremated with. You dont have to tell them y but leave a letter explaining it.

I understand what u mean about accepting the outcome my mum was the same and to me meant that they wont really see it as a bad thing and it not to affect themm too much. X

dandelionclock30

I'm sorry to hear about your health difficulties, that must be hard. Could you ask the Drs about how long you have got, so then you can have more of an informed choice about what you are going to do money wize?
Someone I know was diagnosed with a terminal illness 20 years ago and is still here.His health has its ups and downs but he can still get about etc.You might have years left OP.

meds12_2

Hi,
Really sorry to read about your problems- puts all mine in perspective really.

I agree with the 'memories over money' approach people are recommending. I would also suggest, and I hope you don't mind me saying this but I am trying to be pragmatic, that my best friend's Mum died when she was young, and what has really helped her was that she was buried rather than cremated, so my friend has always had somewhere to go to be close to her, and now she takes her own children too, to visit their Nanny. I'm sorry as this suggestion might be a bit much for some, but I think it as really helped my friend and might help your children if the worst should happen.

Can I ask when did you find out it was terminal? Xxx

meds12_2

Sorry just re-read and have seen it was last week.

Another of my best friends is a solicitor and owns her own business, she does wills. If you'd like one made up she'd be very happy to do it foc, so you could use the money that you would have spent on a day out instead. Xx