Problem Neighbour. Thoughts?

dandelionclock30

MentalMinnie wrote: »

Why do some people find it so difficult to accept that this old dear doesn't have dementia, and is just plain and simple nasty? The lady that lives next door to me has known her for 40+ years and has said she's always been like this. Categorically said that she doesn't have dementia or any such like.

.

Well the lady next door is not a Doctor and cant really make a medical asessment of the woman. You can also get early onset Alzheimers and I know of someone who got it at 17!. Also severe depression can often present very much like Alzheimers in the elderly.
It sounds like the woman does have some serious problems. Can you contact the Police reporting the harrassment ? They can section her and get her assessed by a DR. Or ask the police to contact her next of kin so they can take her to the DRS. It certainly sounds like shes not right and needs help if she is carrying on like this.
I do feel for you,however I would be getting the police to sort it out.

SmallL

Regardless of her mental state its not too much to ask for peace and quiet in your own home and garden!
When you buy a house you don't profile all the neighbors just incase of a rotten tomato.
If she had dementia that was so severe that she insults the neighbors in such a fashion she SHOULD have care workers or support of some fashion. Though she may have been offered some and not so politely turned it down!

Make-it-3

MentalMinnie wrote: »

I was out at the car within 30 seconds. Where have I indicated otherwise?

Actually if you read back you didn't indicate at all how long it took you to respond to the car alarm.

You seem to be getting a bit defensive now with posters - what many of us are trying to say is we acknowledge her behaviour isn't normal whatever the reasons behind it.

Why can't you just laugh off that she thinks your husband is a terrorist - you and the rest of us know its just silly??

Its about not rising to the bait and seeing if it calms down as a result.

MentalMinnie

SmallL wrote: »

Regardless of her mental state its not too much to ask for peace and quiet in your own home and garden!
When you buy a house you don't profile all the neighbors just incase of a rotten tomato.
If she had dementia that was so severe that she insults the neighbors in such a fashion she SHOULD have care workers or support of some fashion. Though she may have been offered some and not so politely turned it down!

She doesn't have carers, and her family don't speak to her after a huge argument at her 80th birthday a couple of years ago. There's one person that comes in once a week or so with shopping, and that's it.

She's just been in the street yelling at a neighbour with a motorbike that she's called the police as he's not allowed to bring the bike onto a residential street?!

make_me_wise

ska_lover wrote: »

Everyone is far too quick to judge someone and write them off as just being a bad person

But oh no, as long as certain people get their b1tch fest in for the day...tut tut

Oh the irony, considering how you have chosen to address other posters today!

dandelionclock30

MentalMinnie wrote: »

She doesn't have carers, and her family don't speak to her after a huge argument at her 80th birthday a couple of years ago. There's one person that comes in once a week or so with shopping, and that's it.

She's just been in the street yelling at a neighbour with a motorbike that she's called the police as he's not allowed to bring the bike onto a residential street?!

If the Police turn up to speak to her you could grab you chance and have a word with them about her behaviour. Dont get into a slanging match with her, just ask the police if you can have a word.

MentalMinnie

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

If the Police turn up to speak to her you could grab you chance and have a word with them about her behaviour. Dont get into a slanging match with her, just ask the police if you can have a word.

I wouldn't think the police will be coming, I've never heard of it being against the law to drive a motorbike down a residential street!

ska_lover

MentalMinnie wrote: »

ska_lover wrote: »

And calling my husband a terrorist isn't an over reaction?

I am sure it was, and bang out of order, but I wouldn't let it upset me in the slightest to be honest. Someones words or accusations cannot possibly hurt you, even the other neighbours know what she is like if they were to hear her they wont believe a word she says either

ska_lover

MentalMinnie wrote: »

Why do some people find it so difficult to accept that this old dear doesn't have dementia, and is just plain and simple nasty? The lady that lives next door to me has known her for 40+ years and has said she's always been like this. Categorically said that she doesn't have dementia or any such like.

Ok so it has took you 50 posts to get to the facts then.

If I knew for certain 100% that a person who was treating me like this was not ill, then I would certainly react in a different way to their treatment. I do always try to be compassionate to those less fortunate, but I wouldn't let her treat me like this if I knew for sure that she was fit as a fiddle, either.

ska_lover

MentalMinnie wrote: »

If I'd said that the person causing us problems was a 40 something, would you be so quick to write off their behaviour as well? No, I doubt it either. Society views our old folk as sweet oldsters that wouldn't say boo to a goose. When one breaks the norm, it simply must be because she has dementia.

As a side point, I think her next door neighbour may have used a poor choice of words when he described her as having mental problems. I don't think he was trying to make out she was bipolar or anything.

If you had said it was a 40 year old, I would myself probably go round there and give her a right good pasting to be fair - however it is a fact that a huge proportion of elderly people DO have some degree of dementia so I would definitely want to rule that out for 100% sure before reacting to her, or otherwise not reacting.

Not all old people are nice, by far - in fact I have had more rudeness from elderly people in my life, than from young ones, teenagers.