Problem Neighbour. Thoughts?

ska_lover

marisco wrote: »

I don't buy the poor little old lady with possible dementia take on this at all. To be well known to the police and to have caused upset to several neighbours over a long time period, suggests to me that she is far from being a cuddly, friendly granny type who isn't responsible for her own actions. It is plain odd for someone to stand outside in their nightie and watch someone go about their every day business.

That is contradictory, you don't buy the possible dementia take on it all, but you also do realise that it is odd behaviour for someone to stand outside in their nightie? People with dementia do act very oddly indeed

ska_lover

MentalMinnie wrote: »

Doubtful it's dementia to be honest. Just a poisonous old woman. She's estranged from her 2 children, they don't like her apparently.

I've spoken to the letting agent this morning, she's well known to them, as they manage several properties in the street. According to the she's also very well known to the police and has been cautioned for wasting police time.

Why do you doubt it is dementia - especially when someone has already told you she has got mental health problems?? Do you know this womans medical history? I got the impression that you didn't really know her that well? There are currently 800,000 people in the UK suffering with it so is very common in older folk but the sad thing is, there is not a lot of empathy or understanding around for these conditions.

Dementia can cause terrible personality changes, causing the nicest of people to become complete pains in the bum and very testing to be around. This may be the very reason she is well known for wasting police time etc etc .

You say apparently her two children don't like her, how do you know this, have they told you this, or why they do not keep in contact with her? All families have a very different dynamic than we are used to in our own families and we cannot possibly speculate or judge on some issue that has gone long before in someone elses family.

This old woman clearly doesn't have a lot going on in her life (as many OAPs don't) if she is watching you, but you must be looking over at her to know she is watching you...

Your reaction to her is completely out of proportion, wanting to shake her etc...is she REALLY that much of a threat to you?

marisco_2

ska_lover wrote: »

That is contradictory, you don't buy the possible dementia take on it all, but you also do realise that it is odd behaviour for someone to stand outside in their nightie? People with dementia do act very oddly indeed

People without dementia behave very oddly indeed too!

hawk30

marisco wrote: »

I don't buy the poor little old lady with possible dementia take on this at all. To be well known to the police and to have caused upset to several neighbours over a long time period, suggests to me that she is far from being a cuddly, friendly granny type who isn't responsible for her own actions. It is plain odd for someone to stand outside in their nightie and watch someone go about their every day business.

Have you known many people with dementia? They certainly aren't all 'cuddly, friendly granny types'. In fact, they can turn into (what appear to be) mean and spiteful people (through no fault of their own).

Make-it-3

OP I'm sure this is very annoying for you, but try to put it in perspective.

You now know that she is known as a nuisance to the police, neighbours and the lettings agency then she probably is known to the Council too. So don't worry about the letter you have received - it is either a standard response or as others have said they are just giving her enough rope to hang herself with this 14-day diary business.

Btw I have had trouble with noise myself in the past and my Council's noise control team would only take action after they had been out and observed it for themselves as it was happening.

We're not going to know if she is mentally ill, a sad old lady, a busybody, bigot or combination of all these things. However, if your car alarm was going off I would deal with it straight away wherever it was parked as they are annoying for everyone.

Without going out of your way, just try not to put yourself in the firing line, so ignore, ignore, ignore.

Things will either quieten down after the diary-completing phase has passed or she will get bored because she has run out of ammunition.

I doubt you will have anyone from the local authorities knocking on your door - the emphasis will be on her to proof you have been acting unreasonable and if you haven't you have nothing to fear.

marisco_2

hawk30 wrote: »

Have you known many people with dementia? They certainly aren't all 'cuddly, friendly granny types'. In fact, they can turn into (what appear to be) mean and spiteful people (through no fault of their own).

Yes I have known a couple of people with dementia. Certainly some can be mean and spiteful but not all. I don't think the OPs neighbour suffers from it. That is just my opinion, which others can agree with or not as they see fit.

ska_lover

hawk30 wrote: »

Have you known many people with dementia? They certainly aren't all 'cuddly, friendly granny types'. In fact, they can turn into (what appear to be) mean and spiteful people (through no fault of their own).

That is the point I am making - that this old lady, whilst making life unpleasant, is hardly a threat and should be treated with empathy. A large proportion of us typing on this thread, will ourselves suffer from dementia one day, and I hope people show a little more compassion if that time comes.

MentalMinnie

Why do some people find it so difficult to accept that this old dear doesn't have dementia, and is just plain and simple nasty? The lady that lives next door to me has known her for 40+ years and has said she's always been like this. Categorically said that she doesn't have dementia or any such like.

MentalMinnie

Make-it-3 wrote: »

OP I'm sure this is very annoying for you, but try to put it in perspective.

You now know that she is known as a nuisance to the police, neighbours and the lettings agency then she probably is known to the Council too. So don't worry about the letter you have received - it is either a standard response or as others have said they are just giving her enough rope to hang herself with this 14-day diary business.

Btw I have had trouble with noise myself in the past and my Council's noise control team would only take action after they had been out and observed it for themselves as it was happening.

We're not going to know if she is mentally ill, a sad old lady, a busybody, bigot or combination of all these things. However, if your car alarm was going off I would deal with it straight away wherever it was parked as they are annoying for everyone.

Without going out of your way, just try not to put yourself in the firing line, so ignore, ignore, ignore.

Things will either quieten down after the diary-completing phase has passed or she will get bored because she has run out of ammunition.

I doubt you will have anyone from the local authorities knocking on your door - the emphasis will be on her to proof you have been acting unreasonable and if you haven't you have nothing to fear.

I was out at the car within 30 seconds. Where have I indicated otherwise?

MentalMinnie

ska_lover wrote: »

Why do you doubt it is dementia - especially when someone has already told you she has got mental health problems?? Do you know this womans medical history? I got the impression that you didn't really know her that well? There are currently 800,000 people in the UK suffering with it so is very common in older folk but the sad thing is, there is not a lot of empathy or understanding around for these conditions.

Dementia can cause terrible personality changes, causing the nicest of people to become complete pains in the bum and very testing to be around. This may be the very reason she is well known for wasting police time etc etc .

You say apparently her two children don't like her, how do you know this, have they told you this, or why they do not keep in contact with her? All families have a very different dynamic than we are used to in our own families and we cannot possibly speculate or judge on some issue that has gone long before in someone elses family.

This old woman clearly doesn't have a lot going on in her life (as many OAPs don't) if she is watching you, but you must be looking over at her to know she is watching you...

Your reaction to her is completely out of proportion, wanting to shake her etc...is she REALLY that much of a threat to you?[/.

And calling my husband a terrorist isn't an over reaction?