Problem Neighbour. Thoughts?

MentalMinnie

GotToChange wrote: »

These things have a way of escalating on all sides so please tread carefully...

I am very surprised that the Council wrote to on the basis of her allegations of "numerous occasions"; they ask that a diary be kept and THEN act so either they act on very little or she is exaggerating what has happened. I am sure that you can ask the Council for proof of the allegations she is making - which you can then of course refute.

It's not that great for another neighbour to say that she has "mental issues" as that is obviously going to influence how she is regarded and treated; it is reallly sad when people give a dog a bad name and a nasty ripple effect occurs.

Not to say that she isn't (being) a pain in the rear end - but it needs to be handled sensitively I think.

In my previous property, I had some real issues with some people who I knew several houses down the cul-de-sac; their foster son was a bit of a brat (shouting at me if I looked out of the window, deliberately kicking his ball onto my plants, insulting me in front of his mates etc.) and the female of the house kept a horse in the field next door but one to me, wher eI could see that it was neglected and the land full of ragwort. I raised these issues to them and yes, it was by a note a couple of times. When the child was rude and creepy and no-one dealt with it, I involved the Police - but it all backfired and I was accused of waging a hate campaign and described as someone with "problems".
As all this went on, her horse keeled over and died from colic (?ragwort poisoning?) and they even accused me of doing something to the him because I went in the field to fill up the water and put a fly sheet on the remaining horse.... (yes, I was a bit of a busybody but I am not ashamed of that where animals are concerned....)

Again, tread carefully, it can get a bit nasty all round.

I'm thinking she's possibly exaggerated it, but I need to speak to the council first.

browneyedbazzi

GotToChange wrote: »

I am very surprised that the Council wrote to on the basis of her allegations of "numerous occasions"; they ask that a diary be kept and THEN act so either they act on very little or she is exaggerating what has happened. I am sure that you can ask the Council for proof of the allegations she is making - which you can then of course refute.

A lot of councils will send out a standard letter when they receive a complaint and hope the problem goes away. They often won't bother with keeping diaries/collecting evidence etc until that first simple, quick and often effective step has been attempted.

Dumbe

MentalMinnie wrote: »

No, I mean, it's randomly gone off for no reason. Unless she's thrown something at it. My point was, how typical, as she's obviously going to report it. Strangely though, the car parked behind's central locking is going bonkers, locking and unlocking. There's no one around. That I can see anyway.

No sure what she can report, or who to .. The police? As a concerned citizen? That the cars are being stolen? Up to her if she does

Wouldn't worry too much, put on some ear plugs or go for a walk...

She may be nicer after an hour or two of ear splitting car alarm noise!

When she challenges you..oh sorry had my headphones on and didn't hear it or oh just got back and smile sweetly!

GotToChange

Oh I hope she isn't going to report it; these things do happen and it's to be hoped she realises that.

Even if she doesn't, whoever deals with the complaints must - surely?

It sounds like an X-Files episode; have you checked the skies for mysterious lights and that your watches and clocks aren't spinning like crazy....?

Seriously though, I guess you need to keep your own records so that you can have answers should she formalise her complaints.

MentalMinnie

Dumbe wrote: »

No sure what she can report, or who to .. The police? As a concerned citizen? That the cars are being stolen? Up to her if she does

Wouldn't worry too much, put on some ear plugs or go for a walk...

She may be nicer after an hour or two of ear splitting car alarm noise!

When she challenges you..oh sorry had my headphones on and didn't hear it or oh just got back and smile sweetly!

She can log it on her noise diary that the council will have asked her to keep. Sod's law. She has to keep the diary for 14 days then return it.

MentalMinnie

Also, with regards to the guy next door to her and his comments, I think he thought he was trying to help, rather than pass her off as barmy, and my next door neighbour who's known her for 40 odd years pretty much confirms that she's got issues. Something to do with problem neighbours over 10 years ago, which caused her no end of trouble. It's made her fear music, like other people fear heights.

barbiedoll

If she previously suffered with problem neighbours, you can maybe see where she is coming from!

Maybe you could try another tack, kill her (not literally) with kindness. Try going over there with a bunch of flowers to "apologise" for the noise, pop round with a cake or chocs, keep her sweet and she may completely change her mind about you.

Older people are often lonely and when you say that she puts the bins back after they have been emptied, that implies that she is trying to be helpful at least. Peering into your windows is obviously not on but she may well have some mental health issues or she may just have been trying to see if you were home, she may not be completely crazy, she may just have different ideas of privacy to you.

Don't worry about the letter from the council, my friend had a long experience with a nightmare neighbour who reported her to the council for noise nusiance (kids playing on trampoline, council said that there's no law against kids having a good time in their own garden), he reported her to the RSPCA for "constant dog barking"...no case to answer as she was at home all day with her (very happy and quiet) dogs, and he badmouthed her all around their village, telling people that she was "mental" etc etc. No-one listened to a word he said, they all knew what he was like.

Don't get involved in a tit-for-tat situation, she is probably more deserving of your sympathy. Which I daresay can be hard to muster after a litany of complaints but at least your other neighbours back you up. I hope you find a solution soon, having nusiance neighbours is a real pain!

MentalMinnie

I see your point barbiedoll, but frankly I would really love nothing more than to shake her senseless, so I'm keeping my distance in case I launch a verbal attack on her the next time she collars me. Therefore, being kind isn't an option!

marisco_2

The way your neighbour is carrying on is not acceptable. Her conduct amounts to harassment. No-one has the right to say or do the things she has and to make a neighbour feel so intimidated. Going by your other neighbours comments and feelings towards her, this has been on going for a long time. Put a stop to it now. Phone the police and inform them of what has been going on and ask if they can have a word with her about not coming onto your property uninvited. I would also contact social services and put your concerns about this woman's state of mind to them, and see what their take on the situation is. You don't have to put up with any of this from someone that is a verbal bully, who thinks she can throw her weight around and hound people.

MentalMinnie

She's just been stood outside in the front garden in her nightie watching my husband as he's been doing something to the car. She purposely came out to watch him. I'm actually starting to get upset over it.