Confidence

tattycath

michael243 wrote: »

I kept it till Thursday when they sacked me once again

I need a new job, but too scared to go to a interview, so kind of stuffed for a while till I can gain some confidence to go

Losing your job can give your confidence a knock-I'm not saying that is why you aren't confident but it's probably a contributory factor.
Did you sort your cv out? If not, try to get it sorted ASAP.
Personally I would firstly just try to find a job anywhere and once you've got a job you will meet new people and also,if the job isn't something you really want to do long term, you can look for a more niche job whilst you are earning.
Sometimes in order to achieve our goals ad objectives we need to step out of our comfort zone-as FBaby said 'what's the worst than can happen' good luck.

michael243

tattycath wrote: »

Losing your job can give your confidence a knock-I'm not saying that is why you aren't confident but it's probably a contributory factor.
Did you sort your cv out? If not, try to get it sorted ASAP.
Personally I would firstly just try to find a job anywhere and once you've got a job you will meet new people and also,if the job isn't something you really want to do long term, you can look for a more niche job whilst you are earning.
Sometimes in order to achieve our goals ad objectives we need to step out of our comfort zone-as FBaby said 'what's the worst than can happen' good luck.

Before I lost it, I had hardly anyways but yeah it could of helped

I have sorted my CV out, just need to apply for a job and go to the interview now, instead of not going as I get too scared of showing up.

I think my self belief stops me from stepping out of it, as I do believe it will go horribly

Thanks

lostinrates

You really should see a GP, even if you don't want to. Could you view it as part of the challenge to YOU helping yourself? Would it be easier for you to have a telephone appointment with a GP than one in the surgery? Or to write it down and hand a note to a GP rather than saying it? These options are ok too. .

Seeing a GP doesn't stop you from trying to help yourself as you want to as well, its not an either or. .

bitemebankers

michael243 wrote: »

I have convinced myself that going out is quite a scary thing to do, something somewhere made me scared of going out. I have lost quite a few "friends" from not going out at all.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like you've been going through a period of change - is that the case? Have you been the "life and soul" of the party in the past or one of the quieter members of the group? If so, is there any specific event or upheaval that's causing this change?

brians_daughter

Michael, good on you for posting - its scary isn't it? 'Admitting' you need help (its actually confiding but it probably feels like you are admitting lol)

Anyway, i too have suffered with similar issues, i too didn't wish to see a GP. I read lots (and lots and lots) of self help books etc and although some of them maybe cringe worthy at times i took notes from each book of worthwhile (to me) points.

The most helpful point for me in about 12 books was the following (see, now i'm confiding so you had better not laugh at me ) EVERY morning when i am in the bathroom I pop the radio/ipod on and have a little dance and sing along to the most cheesy song i can find, and i laugh (out loud, to myself) This releases feel good chemicals, a natural high.

Then I look straight at the mirror and i tell myself how bloody brilliant i am, why i am a good person and what i do to help others. Then, i tell myself that days goal - little things at first - my first goal was ' i will go for a walk to the local park (borrow a dog if needs be) and i WILL speak to at least one stranger. '
It started as a simple 'hello' then a few months in i was talking to everyone and anyone that would listen. This helped me see what i couldnt see before, which is i am a good person, i do good things for others, i am 'worthy' of peoples time/thoughts/conversation etc.

I started to do this around 4-5 years ago and i still do it now. I have more friends and confidence than ever before. I feel valued, loved and respected.

Im not boasting about it by any means, i'm trying to share with you how one little 5 minute routine everyday has really helped me, IMO more than any pills a GP could prescribe (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with seeking medical assistance, its just not for me

You need a goal, no matter how small, once that goal has been achieved you will gain a little more confidence and it really does snowball. Worst case, you don't reach today's goal and try again tomorrow.

Sorry about the job situation, but maybe this is your time for you? To work on yourself...

michael243

lostinrates wrote: »

You really should see a GP, even if you don't want to. Could you view it as part of the challenge to YOU helping yourself? Would it be easier for you to have a telephone appointment with a GP than one in the surgery? Or to write it down and hand a note to a GP rather than saying it? These options are ok too. .

Seeing a GP doesn't stop you from trying to help yourself as you want to as well, its not an either or. .

I didnt know you could have a telephone appointment, thanks for that suggestion

michael243

bitemebankers wrote: »

I could be wrong, but it sounds like you've been going through a period of change - is that the case? Have you been the "life and soul" of the party in the past or one of the quieter members of the group? If so, is there any specific event or upheaval that's causing this change?

Well put it this way out of everybody I know, I am the quietest one by a long distance and I honestly dont know what has made me fall back down like this what I used to be before I got more confidence and now its back to before then

hgotsparkle

michael243 wrote: »

Honestly, one of the reasons I posted here was to try and get help from people who dont know me so that they dont see me in a different light and think oh he cant go out as he such and such as its happened a few times before, one thing I cant do is tell anybody about this face to face it just makes me close up and look at the floor, I am just really scared of being like this forever

Thanks for the kind words

Try this, go to your nearest town, observe people who you think appear to be confident and note how they walk, and what they look at as they walk around. You will see that they will walk tall and look straight ahead; not noticing other people and definitely not judging anyone.This is what you need to do.Never be scared of being judged, those who judge are the most cowardice of people.

JanCee

michael243 wrote: »

One of my friends asked me to go cinema, I straight away said NO but I think I might go now, even through I hate it there, too many people around.

Start saying "yes" to invites, even things you don't really like doing. Saying no all the time becomes habit forming and eventually the friends you do have will stop asking.

I met my husband on a night out I really didn't want to go on. I only went out that particular night as a favour to a friend who wanted to go clubbing and didn't have anyone else to go with.

michael243

brians_daughter wrote: »

Michael, good on you for posting - its scary isn't it? 'Admitting' you need help (its actually confiding but it probably feels like you are admitting lol)

Anyway, i too have suffered with similar issues, i too didn't wish to see a GP. I read lots (and lots and lots) of self help books etc and although some of them maybe cringe worthy at times i took notes from each book of worthwhile (to me) points.

The most helpful point for me in about 12 books was the following (see, now i'm confiding so you had better not laugh at me ) EVERY morning when i am in the bathroom I pop the radio/ipod on and have a little dance and sing along to the most cheesy song i can find, and i laugh (out loud, to myself) This releases feel good chemicals, a natural high.

Then I look straight at the mirror and i tell myself how bloody brilliant i am, why i am a good person and what i do to help others. Then, i tell myself that days goal - little things at first - my first goal was ' i will go for a walk to the local park (borrow a dog if needs be) and i WILL speak to at least one stranger. '
It started as a simple 'hello' then a few months in i was talking to everyone and anyone that would listen. This helped me see what i couldnt see before, which is i am a good person, i do good things for others, i am 'worthy' of peoples time/thoughts/conversation etc.

I started to do this around 4-5 years ago and i still do it now. I have more friends and confidence than ever before. I feel valued, loved and respected.

Im not boasting about it by any means, i'm trying to share with you how one little 5 minute routine everyday has really helped me, IMO more than any pills a GP could prescribe (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with seeking medical assistance, its just not for me

You need a goal, no matter how small, once that goal has been achieved you will gain a little more confidence and it really does snowball. Worst case, you don't reach today's goal and try again tomorrow.

Sorry about the job situation, but maybe this is your time for you? To work on yourself...

Thanks for the long reply, it a little hard to read it all so if I miss anything out sorry

I have read a few self help books all that happens is I get angry that I am like this and reading things that sound to help but in reality with me they dont at all.

I cant remember last time I had a natural high about anything :eek:

I cant look in my mirror at all, I just look away instead, I have decided I hate how I look which honestly is stupid but I do so cant really help it, I think being called things like ugly and freak hasnt helped but it how some people are they want to hurt people for no reason.

I just want to be more happy about myself, be able to go out and not be afraid of what COULD happen