7 year old exposed to inappropriate photos? What do I do?

sassyblue

julie2710 wrote: »

I had never imagined that he might have taken the photos whilst DS1 was present. I feel quite sick at the thought that that could have been the case. That would be more than just stupid

I think it's really important that you ask DS if he knows if photo was on his phone or did he photograph himself beforehand.

tattycath

sassyblue wrote: »

I think it's really important that you ask DS if he knows if photo was on his phone or did he photograph himself beforehand.

It would probably be preferable to try and discuss it like adults with your ex instead of giving your DS an inquisition on what happened. Constantly asking DS about it will make it a much bigger issue to him than it needs to be. Parents should not discuss things through their kids, they should talk to each other.

Brighton_belle

tattycath wrote: »

It would probably be preferable to try and discuss it like adults with your ex instead of giving your DS an inquisition on what happened. Constantly asking DS about it will make it a much bigger issue to him than it needs to be. Parents should not discuss things through their kids, they should talk to each other.

It's a great idea to discuss it like adults, but Julie has already made it clear that her ex will just get v abusive towards ber if she tries. I don't think she should put herself through that at this stage.

Isuspect he won't do it again now his son has spilled the beans.

sassyblue

tattycath wrote: »

It would probably be preferable to try and discuss it like adults with your ex instead of giving your DS an inquisition on what happened. Constantly asking DS about it will make it a much bigger issue to him than it needs to be. Parents should not discuss things through their kids, they should talk to each other.

None of that helps the OP though, she's already said she would get abuse if she asked the ex and from what she's said she's let DS take the lead and not constantly questioned him.

tattycath

sassyblue wrote: »

None of that helps the OP though, she's already said she would get abuse if she asked the ex and from what she's said she's let DS take the lead and not constantly questioned him.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

It's a great idea to discuss it like adults, but Julie has already made it clear that her ex will just get v abusive towards ber if she tries. I don't think she should put herself through that at this stage.

Isuspect he won't do it again now his son has spilled the beans.

When I was with my ex he was abusive towards me. This, however did not stop us from discussing things like adults once we had split up. I would rather let my ex have a go at me than try to discuss things though our children. The children are paramount.

julie2710

tattycath wrote: »

When I was with my ex he was abusive towards me. This, however did not stop us from discussing things like adults once we had split up. I would rather let my ex have a go at me than try to discuss things though our children. The children are paramount.

My ex didn't start getting abusive towards me until we split up! Probably trying to allay some of his guilt originally as we split over his affair, then after that probably because the boys and I are doing fine without him and once his bit on the side realised she wouldn't be moving into his nice house as I would be keeping it she dumped him!

I also never quiz my boys over anything like this. They tell me things and I might ask a couple of questions to clarify points at the time but I don't revisit the topic with them.

I always put my boys first, hence the running around I do to make sure they see their dad, despite not having received any maintenance for three years :eek: I sometimes wonder if I didn't tell him he was having them and run them to him and pick them up if he would even bother? I know DS2 would probably be happier not seeing his dad but it would upset DS1. I just wish he would act more responsibly. As I said before its not the first time he's done something stupid/thoughtless/irresponsible. DS1 was hospitalised once because of his stupidity.

I know I'm going to have to say something to him and take the abuse again but rather that than have the boys subjected to anything else

For all those that have argued that he wasn't doing anything wrong. I agree in part. I have no problem with him texting explicit photos to anyone (although the sooner blokes realise that women generally aren't turned on by a photo of their bits and generally show it to their mates and have a good giggle the better!) what I do have the problem with is him doing it in bed next to his son, asleep or otherwise. It's not like there's just the one room in his flat!