7 year old exposed to inappropriate photos? What do I do?

Carl31

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I don't think anyone has said it is wrong for the boy to be in his dad's bed.

It's the activities of the dad whilst he has his son with him that is of concern.

Are you really saying that it is OK to be viewing and sending naked pictures of yourself whilst your 7 year old son is close by?

That is way more than poor judgement.

Its not OK, its just the circumstances are not black and white

The boys are not usually in his bed. This is something he obviously does,whatever your thoughts are on the matter, it happens, consenting adults do it

He thought he could get away with a sneaky snap for his GF, he was busted, OK not ideal but hardly the end of the world. It made his boys laugh at least

julie2710

Thanks for all the comments. A few I'd like to respond to.

FirstlyI have no part in my exs life at all. I gave him a lift to work otherwise I would have had to make the hour long round trip to pick up the boys an hour earlier, meaning I would have to leave home at 6:30am on a Sunday morning:eek: My ex doesn't have a car so in order to get an extra hour in bed on a Sunday when he has the boys I dropped him at work which is actually on my way home. As far as him growing up the man is 50 he should have a bit of commonsense by now!

Unfortunately this is not the first irresponsible act that my ex has managed. When DS1 and DS2 were 5&2 respectively he left them on their own in his flat whilst he went to get a Chinese takeaway

He has had several girlfriends there when the boys have been there.

He would never be embarrassed if it was mentioned at school as he has NEVER been to the boys school :eek: He doesn't take any active part in their lives at all other than having them every other weekend and even the I tell him when he is having them.

I had never imagined that he might have taken the photos whilst DS1 was present. I feel quite sick at the thought that that could have been the case. That would be more than just stupid

I chatted to DS1 about it after he told my mum and dad. I said I couldn't imagine anyone wanting a picture of his daddy's willy and tried to laugh it off! I also explained that if anyone ever tried to look at, take photos of or touch any of his "private" bits as in anything covered by his pants he must always tell me. Likewise if anyone tried to show him pictures of "bits" or get him to touch or look at their bits he should tell me. He is comfortable with this.

My boys and I are very close. I'm pretty confident that they will tell me things. I don't have an issue with them seeing their dads bits, they walk into the bathroom when I'm in the shower or on the toilet all the time (no privacy once you have kids!) It's the context of the sending explicit photos that I have the issue with and as someone said no guy ever sends a picture of a flaccid willy! DS1 obviously was only close enough to see the picture as he's a really strong reader and I'm sure he'd tell me what the message said if he'd been close enough to see it! That would be more worrying!

I know if I say anything to his dad then I'll get a load of abuse but I'm really not happy if he can't refrain from sexting for one night out of 14 or at least go into the sitting room to do it if DS1 is in his bed!

Tiddlywinks

Just_a_Girl wrote: »

......the father wouldn't necessarily know he was spying if it was dark.

Kids catch their parents doing sexual stuff on a day to day basis. My own son has caught me in compromising situations, both with my ex husband and on my own. Doesn't mean he's a child protection risk.

The child was not 'spying'... he was placed in a position which allowed him to view inappropriate content - that is an adult's responsibility.

As to your 'compromising situations' and your idea that 'kids catch their parents doing sexual stuff on a day to day basis' - not in my world they don't.

Perhaps you need to be more careful in order to protect your children from seeing things that are best kept private.

Just_a_Girl_2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

As to your 'compromising situations' and your idea that 'kids catch their parents doing sexual stuff on a day to day basis' - not in my world they don't.

Perhaps you need to be more careful in order to protect your children from seeing things that are best kept private.

Having sex with your husband, late at night, long after the children have gone to bed is careful enough. Who can predict which night one child will have a nightmare and walk in on mummy & daddy having a special cuddle?

Do you have a lock on your bedroom door or something?

peachyprice

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Are you really saying that it is OK to be viewing and sending naked pictures of yourself whilst your 7 year old son is close by?

That is way more than poor judgement.

He thought the child was asleep !!!!!!, it's not like he was sitting there with the boy knowingly wide awake. Stop trying to make out he's done something more than he has.

The man made a mistake, that does not make him a sexal deviant, and it does not put the child at risk just because he saw pictures of his dad's willy. What happens in your narrow minded world? Do children never see their parents naked? That is a far more unhealthy way to raise children than mistakenly letting them see a couple of photos on a phone.

Tiddlywinks

peachyprice wrote: »

He thought the child was asleep !!!!!!, it's not like he was sitting there with the boy knowingly wide awake. Stop trying to make out he's done something more than he has.

The man made a mistake, that does not make him a sexal deviant, and it does not put the child at risk just because he saw pictures of his dad's willy. What happens in your narrow minded world? Do children never see their parents naked? That is a far more unhealthy way to raise children than mistakenly letting them see a couple of photos on a phone.

He had a duty to ensure he didn't expose his 7 year old CHILD to adult images - full stop.

I am not narrow minded, I simply believe that some images are best left unseen by a 7 year old and that includes the image of your dad 'sexting' a picture of his penis to another party.

peachyprice

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

He had a duty to ensure he didn't expose his 7 year old CHILD to adult images - full stop.

I am not narrow minded, I simply believe that some images are best left unseen by a 7 year old and that includes the image of your dad 'sexting' a picture of his penis to another party.

Well lets just hope you never make a mistake in your perfect little life eh.

Tiddlywinks

peachyprice wrote: »

Well lets just hope you never make a mistake in your perfect little life eh.

This should not be dismissed or excused as a 'mistake'. It was entirely preventable and very selfish.

tinkerbell28

warehouse wrote: »

You sound surprised. I think the Christian Womens group has visited this thread en masse.

Christian? Why isn't that a bit bigoted? Why not Muslim.

Just because people know schools would raise this as an issue and not brush it off, doesn't make them Christian does it?

How do you know anyone who has not brushed it off, doesn't watch !!!!!!, or have home made pornos, and images on their phone?

But heaven forbid wouldn't have them open with a child next to them in the bed, or not have a passlock on the phone.

Rather a sweeping and stupid statement.

Tiddlywinks

warehouse wrote: »

You sound surprised. I think the Christian Womens group has visited this thread en masse.

It's not only Christians that would be concerned at the issues raised...

A 7 year old child was allowed to view adult images of his father, by his father... not acceptable in most cultures / religions I'd say so please don't assume that non-Christians would find this activity acceptable.