Husband wants to loan step-brother 600. How to make sure we get it back?

27col

Best keep clear of the whole sponging lot of them.

backinbusiness

Is it just me who thinks this thread is a bit fishy?

Arnie123

Why is it fishy?

Do you think I would start a fake thread just because I have nothing better to do?

I have been in tears over my husband threatening to "loan" 600 and tag death of my mum last week

Shame on you

kloana

Arnie123 wrote: »

They told us that if we did not cough up the guys body would be chucked in the hospital incinerator without a funeral and there would be no ashes. A bit like when they burned all those cattle in the foot and mouth epidemic. I have phoned the bereavement specialist at the hospital who has said this is absolute rubbish and no one at the hospital would have said this

Total rubbish from what sounds like a bunch of horrible people!

Funerals of this type where there is literally no money (including assistance from "the social") are basic affairs, but are still as dignified and respectful as any other. The local authority foots the bill, and makes the arrangements. See an example from Birmingham City Council.

We're talking about humans here - not unclaimed stray dogs that have been put down!

You and hubby shouldn't feel pressured into 'lending' a penny that you don't want to - regardless of the purpose.

meg72

Arnie123 wrote: »

We have looked into these payments off the social. Apparently you have to spend the cash and then present the invoice to the social who will cover it.

And that is the problem, they cannot pay upfront.

I have spoke to the hospital bereavement specialist and tehy have said tif they cannot raise fund upfront the hospital will arrange a basic funeral.

however this relative wants a burial.

my response is he should get a job. there are lots of things i would like but cannot afford them. perhaps if he had not walked out of the job i gave him he could have afforded it (unlikely for a pot smoker)

This not correct, When my Son died, the funeral director gave me a form for the grant to be paid direct to him. I did not pay anything up front.

I would also suggest that if this relative wants a burial then he should pay for it.
I would also suggest that you tell your OH in no uncertain terms how you feel about it, afterall its your money too.

mcjordi

Arnie123 wrote: »

Why is it fishy?

Do you think I would start a fake thread just because I have nothing better to do?

I have been in tears over my husband threatening to "loan" 600 and tag death of my mum last week

Shame on you

im hoping he means the half brother in law asking for high amounts then suddenly dropping..

If he says the FD wants a deposit he is lying they dont ask for one.

pauletruth

sadly some do.

JuicyJesus

Arnie123 wrote: »

What angers me the most is the emotional blackmail they have tried on with us. They told us that if we did not cough up the guys body would be chucked in the hospital incinerator without a funeral and there would be no ashes. A bit like when they burned all those cattle in the foot and mouth epidemic. I have phoned the bereavement specialist at the hospital who has said this is absolute rubbish and no one at the hospital would have said this

What a bunch of c**ts.

Sod not lending them money, make it clear to your husband that you don't want them anywhere near your life. Shameful bunch of scrotes.

ffacoffipawb

JuicyJesus wrote: »

What a bunch of c**ts.

Sod not lending them money, make it clear to your husband that you don't want them anywhere near your life. Shameful bunch of scrotes.

Not what the real Jesus would say.

However I 100% agree with you! Shower of s***e. Wouldn't want them in my life that's for sure.

Arnie123

backinbusiness wrote: »

Is it just me who thinks this thread is a bit fishy?

I am really sorry I thought you were claiming I had fabricated this whole thread. I am quite emotional at the moment and I apologise for taking it the wrong way.

After McJordi pointed out it could be fishy I had a good think about it and the more I think about it I think they were trying to leg us over. The following things do not stack up:

1. The claim this guy was going to be chucked in the hospital incinerator with no funeral, something the hospital denied when I spoke to them.

2. The money changing in amount from 1400 to 600 to 400 over a couple of days. It was almost like they failed to get the higher sum so they thought they would chance their arm at a lesser price.

3. Something I had not mentioned so far is they claimed the hospital had been on the phone and said they were unprepared to hold the body after Monday so they needed the money QUICK. I always get suspicious of salesmen or conmen who try to get you to make a large financial decision in a rush. It is almost like they are not giving you time to think. I phoned the hospital and no such phone call had ever taken place.

4. my husband said he felt accosted by his mum and her boyfriend and described it as a "very hard sell". Following this they started calling us repeatedly rushing us for the cash, before I told them I did not have it.

5. This claim the FD needed cash up front. Although some probably do this I am sure they could have shopped around to find someone who would have the cheque from the social made out directly to their company.

6. The fact that when I explained 3 of my customers had not paid me this month so we did not have the cash the mum slammed the phone down. This is a very aggressive way to act-after all she is not contributing a penny as she is broke.

7. At no point have we spoken to the deceased's son who is arranging the funeral. All of this pressure has come from his mother. It makes me wonder whether if we had handed over the 1400 the mum would have pocketed 1300-odd and then donated the other 100 to her son, claiming it had come from her.

Anyhow we do not have to ignore her as we have been told she is not speaking to us.

I have a toddler and after this he will not be going anywhere near her.