Husband wants to loan step-brother 600. How to make sure we get it back?

[Deleted User]

Arnie123 wrote: »

3. Something I had not mentioned so far is they claimed the hospital had been on the phone and said they were unprepared to hold the body after Monday so they needed the money QUICK.

The hospital have no choice.

They have, by law, to hold the body, until such times as a properly authorised person/organisation takes possession.

If, ultimately, nobody does take possession, they must arrange (and pay for) the funeral.

Dimey

I think you might have been right in your initial reaction to backinbusiness's post but lets be generous and go with Mcjordi's interpretation.:D

You've summed up the background to your MIL's attempt to extort the money from you, very well. That should be convincing enough for your husband to feel comfortable with your - now joint decision not to lend or give any money.

Given that the deceased is not actually a step-father to your husband it won't look strange that you don't go to the funeral.

Your husband has to learn from this episode and not let his Mother manipulate him again. If he finds it hard to say no, he should just pass her over to you if she asks again.

I hope you do act on the advice to take over control of the finances from here on. Keep your business and private money separate and visit the bank to work out how to get round losing the cards.

Phew, you can get back to normal now and concentrate on your toddler. Good luck with the business. I hope those clients pay soon. Keep nagging them - Looks like your good at that !! :rotfl:

kloana

OP, are you even sure the chap in question is actually dead? Sorry if you've already stated that you're sure - this is a long thread!

In times of desperation, stranger things have happened than unscrupulous people fabricating the death of relatives...!

Arnie123

Kloana the last time I saw the guy he had lost about 4 stone and was skin and bones. He had cancer. He looked like a gonner then. I genuinely believe he is dead, but the truth ends there really.

kloana

OP I don't mean to cause any upset, but you indicate that your own mother died recently? I don't mean to pry (there's method in my madness), but is your mum's already funeral covered? By her estate, by family, etc.?

Because if your mum's own funeral isn't/wasn't covered, perhaps you could suggest that this will be your priority - and not some obscure, non-blood relative of his.

If you're feeling particularly pressured, and if you can "get away" with it, perhaps you could suggest that you do have to help towards your mum's funeral, and tuck any money you have away. Sometimes, [STRIKE]a woman[/STRIKE] one half of a partnership needs to do things like this, in order to retain some shred of independence and self-security (including for any children).

Without meaning to judge, hubby himself is also coming across as a bit naughty here. Though he's obviously under some pressure from his so-called family.

Arnie123

My dad has no shortage of money to cover my mum's funeral, in fact I am surprised mother in law has not tried tapping him for cash.

[Deleted User]

kloana wrote: »

In times of desperation, stranger things have happened than unscrupulous people fabricating the death of relatives...!

You're not kidding.

I know of one man who (in three different years) took a compassionate day's leave from work, to attend his grandmother's funeral.

Amazingly, his employer only cottoned on, when he asked for a fourth day, a few years later.

[Deleted User]

Arnie123 wrote: »

in fact I am surprised mother in law has not tried tapping him for cash.

Are you sure she hasn't?

Arnie123

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

Are you sure she hasn't?

Unlikely, my dad lives in France.

[Deleted User]

Lend a family member money only if you can afford to loose that loan.