Birthday gift ideas for an 11 year old ?! Help!

claire16c

Arent you thinking a bit big for an 11 year old?

Buying an iphone when she already has a blackberry, surely an adult wouldn't even do that?

Whats wrong with a few new bits of clothes, new pair of earrings and a meal out?

Troutwrestler

claire16c wrote: »

Arent you thinking a bit big for an 11 year old?

Buying an iphone when she already has a blackberry, surely an adult wouldn't even do that?

Whats wrong with a few new bits of clothes, new pair of earrings and a meal out?

That's a normal weekend for her

I'm starting to feel a bit embarrassed tbh.... Reading it back it would seem she has enough already

Her suggestions are a horse..an iPhone or a 3d tv (but that's my Xmas idea so not keen )

pigpen

Sorry but you won't like my suggestions..

Maybe you should not get her anything at all she sounds an ungrateful little beast tbh. I have 2 children with disabilities, 2 were very sick as babies, 1 has a lifelong illness which we learn to live with.. that isn't an excuse!

I can't believe a 10 year old needs the greater majority of that stuff.. an iphone.. seriously.. you'd spend £500+ on one child for a birthday..

Maybe invest in some CBT for your issues with her sounds like she would benefit more from that!

Do you ever say no?

I'd get her a book to unwrap and she would make do with the meal, Alton Towers, Horsey stuff, Chessington etc.. and if she complained I'd start removing stuff!

balletshoes

no offence meant OP, but she's 11 and you're already running out of ideas of what to buy her for her birthday because you've already bought her everything - so what are you going to do next year, and the year after that, etc etc?

If my DD (just turned 12) doesn't have any specific ideas for her birthday (and she knows a replacement smartphone isn't on the cards for the next 5 years as she mithered us for ages for her blackberry and that was the deal ) then I take her on a shopping trip, and tell her beforehand how much money she can spend. So far she's been perfectly happy with that.

Troutwrestler

pigpen wrote: »

Sorry but you won't like my suggestions..

Maybe you should not get her anything at all she sounds an ungrateful little beast tbh. I have 2 children with disabilities, 2 were very sick as babies, 1 has a lifelong illness which we learn to live with.. that isn't an excuse!

I can't believe a 10 year old needs the greater majority of that stuff.. an iphone.. seriously.. you'd spend £500+ on one child for a birthday..

Maybe invest in some CBT for your issues with her sounds like she would benefit more from that!

Do you ever say no?

I'd get her a book to unwrap and she would make do with the meal, Alton Towers, Horsey stuff, Chessington etc.. and if she complained I'd start removing stuff!

I see your point, and I have admitted she is spoilt. Your response is a little rude IMO. But your entitled to your thoughts. We all parent differently

Troutwrestler

balletshoes wrote: »

no offence meant OP, but she's 11 and you're already running out of ideas of what to buy her for her birthday because you've already bought her everything - so what are you going to do next year, and the year after that, etc etc?

If my DD (just turned 12) doesn't have any specific ideas for her birthday (and she knows a replacement smartphone isn't on the cards for the next 5 years as she mithered us for ages for her blackberry and that was the deal ) then I take her on a shopping trip, and tell her beforehand how much money she can spend. So far she's been perfectly happy with that.

Shopping trip is usually included in her birthday...but my problem is setting the money limits really, I don't have an unlimited amount of cash and she doesn't appreciate that....so it ends in a strop.

I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of stick for spoiling her..which I fully expected. But thanks for all the suggestions..it's helping me

neverdespairgirl

Troutwrestler wrote: »

That's a normal weekend for her

I'm starting to feel a bit embarrassed tbh.... Reading it back it would seem she has enough already

Her suggestions are a horse..an iPhone or a 3d tv (but that's my Xmas idea so not keen )

While Pigpen might have put it a touch bluntly, reading what you've written does make her sound very spoilt - we don't know her ourselves, obviously, but this is the impression from your writing.

balletshoes

Troutwrestler wrote: »

That's a normal weekend for her

I'm starting to feel a bit embarrassed tbh.... Reading it back it would seem she has enough already

Her suggestions are a horse..an iPhone or a 3d tv (but that's my Xmas idea so not keen )

its hard to rein it back in when you're used to treating her so much on just a bog-standard weekend. Maybe she's grown to expect all this stuff because she has no idea of the value of it, and that you have to work hard to get it for her? Maybe its time to look around for stuff you can do on the weekend with her that doesn't constantly involve buying her expensive treats.

It hasn't happened yet, but when my DD starts wanting stuff regularly thats above the budget I want to spend on her, she'll be getting a monthly budget from me, her money, she can spend it how she likes, but once its gone, thats it, she can't spend any more (and she won't be getting any more from me). I'll be telling her what I'll continue to buy, and what she'll have to budget for. ie no luxury make-up or toiletries from me, just the basics that I buy for the household. She'll have to budget for pressies for her friends over the year, and for any trips out she wants to go on over the month, that kind of thing.

Moving to secondary school might be a great time to do this OP.

msb5262

Troutwrestler wrote: »

I agree I have spoilt her rotten (I have my reasons..she was very ill as a baby and I have just got used to spoiling her )

Thanks for all your suggestions....horse riding stuff was all bought a few weeks back for start of new riding school....but I could ask her if there anything else she wants. She has her ears pierced...she has converse..we are going to chessington in the holidays...I have booked a trip to a hotel and a meal out but according to my lovely child..that's not a present cos you can't unwrap it.....she already has an iPad/laptop/iPod...
Maybe I should bite the bullet and buy an iPhone.


Great idea about adopting a horse!
As for surprises...it's always best to let her know what your getting her..she doesn't take disappointment well

Hi OP,

I'm afraid I think you should bite on the bullet - but don't buy her an iPhone.

Start scaling down the presents a bit; I totally understand that you've wanted to spoil her after she was so poorly as a baby but it really is a poison chalice to overindulge a child.

Try to make your own decisions about what's appropriate for her to have/do at her age, and don't let her pressure you into changing your mind.

That really is the best present you could possibly give her.

HTH

MsB

Troutwrestler

I completely agree. But unfortunately I can't say no to her,
I have thought about a zoo keeper for a day experience? I think she would like that as part of her present